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July 2011 Moms
Mason&Mama
member
I can't keep my mouth shut - I just can't
Mason&Mama
member
I like to have a good time. I have been part of MUD exactly twice on this board, and I NEVER tried to deny it. It was NEVER to hurt anybody.
The first was when I posted a photo of a mucus plug on 3rd tri as part of a truth or dare game. I made it obvious by the title what people would see (PIP mucus plug), but they still got upset. I admitted that it was fake within 15 minutes. No harm done. It wasn't there to HURT anyone in any way.
The second time was another dare by some fun moms on the October board. I posted what I believe to be a funny post over in the Nest's Sex and Romance. It was all in fun. It HURT no one.
Did I cause some drama? Maybe. Did I do this in a mean way? I do not think so? Did anyone get hurt? I don't see how. I would NEVER write a post with the intention of hurting anybody. I don't see how being mean to someone over the internet is fun in any way.
I think that the recent vibe on this board has been to have fun, both NBR and BR. We have plenty of regular posters, but we have been open to new people coming in and out. We also love when old posters come back and post, but not when it is to criticize us. Maybe things are different now than when you were frequent posters. That doesn't mean that we are any better or worse than you. We have just evolved into a different group. I don't see how this bothers the old posters that aren't active anymore. If you are not here, why do you care what we discuss?
If you want to start being active again, we welcome that. But please don't write posts just to hurt people. We loved the atmosphere where we all felt comfotable posting anything we were feeling. I don't want people to have to start censoring their posts because they are afraid of negative replies. Most of the current girls on the board have expressed that they lurked for so long because of the mean vibe that existed toward the end of our pregnancies. They were afraid to post.
I am not sure exactly what the point of this post is. I have been trying to bite my tongue all day, but to be honest, it pisses me off that my friends are getting picked on. The attention whore post on Jen's message put me over the edge. We have missed Jen because she has been moving and not posting often. I was very happy to see an update, as I am sure the other moms were. I personally think the AW badge goes to the girls taking over her post. But that is just my opinion.
I know that I am adding fuel to the fire by writing this, but this is *** ridiculous. Stay if you want. As you have clearly pointed out, you were here first. I just hope that we can all find a happy medium here where feelings arent getting hurt. I would hate to see this board crumble with negativity like it did 9 months ago.
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Re: I can't keep my mouth shut - I just can't
Agreed completely! I have been wanting so badly to say something, but I really did not know where to begin. M&M summed it up perfectly.
You sure can! I was glad to hear from her after her move. As I would be for any of you if you'd been gone for a length of time and came back to update us.
Sara 7/7/11
Proof that pull and pray does not work if you are an Atheist.~Bethie
I think they know more than you think...
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
Perhaps I?m an old, jaded poster but I don?t see the activity from the last 24 hours as vicious. Sarcastic and obnoxious? Sure, but not vicious. And if we?re going to be fair, I think the currents posters AND the older posters were each guilty of taunting the other. I think it?s great that you all have created a warm, encouraging environment here but I don?t think you?re doing anything but causing yourself undue frustration by rallying against posters who don?t mind a little spice in their internet lives. I don?t think it makes anyone immature, mean or less motherly; just different. I, for one, don?t usually get involved in drama because it?s not really my style, however, I find it condescending to be told how I can or cannot behave on a public message board (not that this is what you did, M&M). So please keep in mind that if a happy medium is to be found, both sides have to give.
I will agree with this. We were all quite immature today. I am okay with immaturity, sarcasm, and even obnoxiousness (is that a word?). I just don't like to see these things aimed at specific people. I don't think that anyone should be called out "just for fun".
I have not read many of today's posts, but I don't think that anyone is trying to tell people how they can act on a public forum. (I could be wrong. I mayhave missed something.) I believe that we are just trying to express that everyone is welcome, but it bothers us when the "fun" involves hurting specific people.
And FWIW,I personally find my Bump life rather spicy.
What the hell happened while I was sleeping?! Effing Europe and time differences, I just had to go back and read all the posts from yesterday and I am totally shocked. Why did everyone decide to come out and get all crazy? What happened to the friendly and supportive tone of the board?
Good lord, don't make me go over to June 2012. Those women are full of drama too!
I like it here, bring back the civility and lack of egos!
FWIW, I was glad to hear from Jen after she's been MIA for a while moving house. Why was an update after an absence construed as being an AW?
Bahahaha
The whole post was well written.I do agree completely with you that both sides are at fault for egging each other on, which is why I tried to stay out of it today. I am new here. These ladies have welcomed me, and many other lurkers, even the "original" bumpies, as was mentioned by multiple people today, just without the drama. Call it whatever you want, I don't know what your definition of vicious is, but it is bullying, it is harassment. None of this was targeted at me, I am new to this board and have kept my mouth shut, but regardless of this, it has still made me feel uncomfortable enough to not want to post here anymore. Any post that is meant to directly attack or hurt another person can not be condoned, whether it makes the definition of being "vicious" or not. People were called names today, being called an AW and skeletor is mean, and vicious if you ask me. I was called that growing up, as I mentioned to others here, and believe me, it was not a term of endearment. It may not even have bothered jen+m but it bothered ME. As someone who was underweight growing up, asked if I had eating disorders, asked if I was sick-- do you want to look like you are sick? How is calling someone skeletor any less vicious or mean that calling someone fat? Can I tell someone to pull their panties out of their cervix and get over themselves, and then get away with calling them fat a**? I don't think so. Why? Because that would be hurtful. That is bullying, and I, like others I guess, as is the topic of this post, couldn't hold my tongue anymore. I teach my students not to be bystanders-- that being a bystander makes you just as bad as the bully. Calling people names is wrong. Posting cartoons of animals being ripped in two is wrong. Anything that makes anyone feel uncomfortable enough that they cannot conduct themselves as they normally would, is wrong.
It has been said numerous times today-- EVERYONE is welcome here. It is a PUBLIC FORUM. But there is no need for name calling, no need for rude comments, hurtful pictures or negativity. Can we all just please be adults here and stop? We are parents, this is a parenting website. Would you be OK with it if your child was treating someone else like this, anonymously or otherwise? Or better yet, would you be OK with it if someone acted that way towards your child? Whether viciousness was intended or not, I would hope that your answer would be no.
Pot calling the kettle black much?
Be nice, we like nice, waaahhh waahhhh.
But wait, lets post a whole bunch of posts of pictures of llamas & then take what MM said in a post & make it our siggy.
& then waaahhhh wahhh some more.
Do none of you see how utterly hilarious all of this is that you somehow believe you're golden & special when it was the current regulars who created & caused all of this. If any of you had really been around back when we were here you'd have known better than to think that you'd get away with it or that it would make us all disappear again.
Truth- had you not acted like my 4 year old a good hunk of us never would have posted yesterday & we wouldnt still be here today. This is purely your doing, quit complaining.
Way too long to read. Cliff notes anyone?
Day late, dollar short.
I missed most of it, but I can put 2 and 2 together.
I also agree with Katie. The "originals" know more than you all think. They always do.
I don't get why the old posters get so jaded about a board tone changing then come back to b*tch about it. Duh! It happens. I hang out on D*R a lot and have for years. I am one of the old timers for sure. The tone of the board has changed 3 times at least. I have never once been bitter or angry about it. I also have never been mean to the newbies. Called a few of them out? Sure. But directly mean, never.
Then on the flip side the Newbies get so upset they're not loved and adored right away. A) these things take time. It's not that we don't like you (I've been accused of that by a poster on D*R), it's that these things take time.
It's the interwebz. You should probably be taking your desire for love elsewhere.
And like MasonandMama said, I'm all for fun, drama and snark. I don't do puppies and rainbows. I try to be nice, but I'm also completely honest. I however, don't do personal attacks. That's horrible. No matter the person, backstory or situation. It is only the interwebz, but people have feelings too.
Well said.
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
Well said.
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
I don't see why this is all such a big damn deal. This has not been "drama". We've had drama. This? This is no where NEAR drama.
If you don't want it to keep happening then *gasp* don't keep bringing it up.
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
See your siggy? How is THAT not drama?
See the funny in this situation? Im doubting intelligence around here.
It was a mere observation, not an attack. Hopefully no one is dense enough to be offended by my Dr. Drew style commentary.
Shut the front door!
Someone is sticking around with a drug addict?
We're not 16 year olds with nothing to lose. We're adults, with children that depend on us.
Hopefully their child isn't a little girl. Nothing like setting THAT example for your daughter.
You know my oldest 2's sperm donor is a drug addict. Lied & lied. Had me convinced he was a good person, I never saw him do the drugs either. Drug addicts are so good at lying & decieving & making you think things are ok when they arent. I wish I hadnt been so stupid & had left earlier. Its too bad I believed him all those times he told me he was clean & sober, he's still not & we've been split for over 4 years now. Addicts dont change without some serious serious help.
& I had a daughter then, it was a terrible example for her & an even worse experience. She's going to end up in counseling because she has a huge fear of abandonment now.
Yep.
It seems like a no brainer to me, like you did it Jenni. Choose your baby over the drug addict. End of story.
LMAO I thought you wrote "had me convinced he was good sperm"
You know he's a lot of bad things, but the sperm he gave me turned out pretty adorable & very smart, so I can say that his sperm was good at least back when I used it.
His 5th kid isnt so cute, but I think thats the mothers fault because his first 4 are adorable.
That is seriously screwed up!! Yes, because keeping your drug addicted man happy is OBVIOUSLY more important than your innocent child. I'm all for keeping the peace, but to suggest she stick around is asinine. I didn't read the OP, but whoever it is... take you baby and RUN.