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Attachment Parenting
Intro and questions about bringing baby to work with me
Hello all!
I have lurked a little bit on the AP board. I am a June 2012 third time mom - I already have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. I have always done AP techniques with my babies but never really knew too much about the whole philosophy until this pregnancy.
My dilemma I'm trying to plan for is this:
I started my own skincare salon last year, so I can't really afford to take a lot of time off of work. Shutting the doors means I don't get paid, period. I'm hoping to take about 3 or 4 weeks completely off in the case of a normal delivery with no complications to me or the baby. Then I would like to bring my baby to work with me for a few months and only take shorter, spaced-out appointments for a while. I think most of my clients (95% women) will be understanding and pleased to see my little one. I'm trying to buy things now that will make my life easier with toting the baby to work with me.
So I'm thinking I'll need good nursing tanks (any recommendations?) and a baby carrier. Right now I'm leaning towards the Moby. I am going to try to wear the baby while I do short appointments, like eyebrow and bikini waxes, so I need something that will hug the baby close to my body. I'd love to hear any other suggestions. I also will CD, but I'm pretty proficient at that from #2.
Has anyone attempted this before - taking your baby to work part-time with you? If so, how did it go?
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Re: Intro and questions about bringing baby to work with me
I love my bravado tanks - I have a small ribcage and my boobs were up to a DD for the first few months after deliver, so the s/m/l tanks didn't fit me right. Bravados are bra-sized.
A moby is good for a newborn. I liked my mei tai (brands: Babyhawk, Kozy Carrier, Freehand) when he was little, too.
I would also have a bouncy seat or swing at work, so you have a safe place to put baby down if you need to do something you don't want to wear her for.
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I don't really have any suggestions as far as working "with" your baby - I was never able too because any movement would wake her up when she was wee. and she needed constant holding and movement. Honestly, I think it really depends on the kiddo. My friend gets a TON of work done with her LO, who is 8 months. He hangs out in the swing, rocker or wrap and she does her thing. (she is a knitter/spinner - for real!) That would have never happend with my kiddo.
BUT, I do work from home and have a sitter come into the house while I work. If you are having trouble getting work done, esp once she gets older, I highly recommend this arrangement. You can still BF her on demand, and spend a few minutes here or there with her, but then you can actually get work done! I take short breaks to play with her and it works out great for us.
good luck!
Well, I can see in a traditional spa setting how this could be true. But I'm a solo esthetician, and on a very personal basis with all my regular customers, many whom I've seen for years. I've talked with most of them about my after baby plans already. My thinking was that in coming to work after three or four weeks, I would be able to accomodate regular clients that want to get in. Of course, I'm not going to attempt a full body wax while wearing my baby or give a facial service with my baby in the room.
Also, I was only hoping to have this arrangement for maybe a month or two, then my childcare situation would be easier as my oldest starts back at school.
I know I will have to play it by ear, I just don't want you to think I am foisting my screaming baby on unsuspecting clients paying for a service. That is not my intention at all!
Who is watching your older kids? Can they watch the baby too? I think it would be better for you to work intensely for a shorter time and be around your entire family than to bring your baby to work and work longer hours. You may be very stressed trying to be a good mom and a good business owner.
When the baby is crying who are you going to put first? The baby or your client? Even a quick wax can seem like forever when your baby needs you.
DH and I both work FT and we have no paid childcare. We accomplish this through flexible work hours, I work half my hours at home whenever I can get them in, I spread my hours over 6 days, and we have family helping us. When DS was tiny, we had family help for about 4 hours a week. Now that he needs more attention, we have it for about 12 hours. I have a very family-friendly job and I get to be mostly alone with DH when I am on-site which means we can spread out, if he's crying it only bothers me, etc. He does sometime come to lunch meetings and rehearsals with me and he is a very chill little guy, so people love seeing him. But, if he was a constant screamer--I would not ever be able to focus fully on work.
It is doable, but it isn't easy. Figuring out how it will work for you will be a unique thing to work through. I often feel like I am in a "mentorless" position and don't really have many folks to bounce ideas off of on how to make it work. But, I wouldn't trade it!
As for your two questions--I would skip the Moby. A Moby is stretchy and won't hug baby to you for long. If baby is in a front carry, you can't really bend over. That said, I adore woven wraps. Back carries (which you can do from NB with a woven) are great for when I need to be moving all around the building or need to do active things.
As for nursing tanks, I am not a big fan. I think that laying clothes is a much more discreet look. I wear one shirt that can go up and one that can go down, leaving just enough room for the right part to come out and not much else. I feel barer in a nursing tank that with this method. Example: a stretchy round neck tank that you can pull down with a normal shirt over top that you will pull up.
We got a non-motorized bouncy seat for DS that I could put him down in when needed, as swings and things that move or vibrate are NMS.
More Green For Less Green
Thanks all for the advice. My FIL, who lives with us, watches the older ones after school and the days Ellie doesn't go to preschool. But, I think all three kids will be a bit much for him. Once my older one starts back at school, it might not be so overwhelming and I can take off early to help with the afterschool stuff.
It's not an ideal childcare situation, but I just can't afford at this point full time childcare for two kids. We will make it work, it will just have to be a flexible time! I'll have baby sometimes, leave for a couple hours if I have to sometimes, etc.
Interesting info about the Moby, I'll have to look into woven wraps!
I took my baby to work with me 2 days a week until just recently when my husband got laid off. It was starting to get really hard the closer she got to 6 months old. I work in an office and don't work directly with people, so it was easier. If I had to see patients/clients, I don't know how well it would have gone. I also was able to make my situation work because I would go in to work by 7 and leave by 2, so she slept most the morning in a woven wrap, would nurse and go back to sleep. Then when she was sick of that I would put her in the portable swing and the bouncer seat. I think you could make it work for a while if you have an easy baby. I also took my first DD to work with me for about 6 months and that was really, really hard, she was much more difficult to please then my second DD.
I didn't get as much work done when my baby was at work with me, so I did end up having to go in for a few hours on the weekend to finish things up. My dad watches my kids one day a week so on that day I had to work as fast as I could to make the most of my kid free day. I only work 3 days a week.
Honestly, I find it so hard to juggle working with my baby, but it's only for a short time and I feel really lucky that it was an option for me. I was starting to get really burnt out and then my husband got laid off, it was kind of perfect timing!
Good luck!
Go you!
Okay, so yes, I tried doing the baby-at-pt-job thing...it was hard and sometimes frustrating, but for me it was easier than leaving him with someone else (which we couldn't have afforded anyway) and I would definitely do it again.
I found that people do love to see a baby and have them around, but they also get annoyed eventually if the baby is fussy (obviously). I used to go in an hour early to over-prepare for everything I needed to do. So if I had a meeting at 9, my schedule would say I was in at 9, but I would show up at 8 to get everything situated, make sure he was changed and fed right before 9 so I could hit the ground running when my work-day began. I would also schedule in breaks. Generally I found that I needed 2 hours of work-with-baby to get in the same amount of work that I would if I didn't have him there.
The Moby is excellent...We used it up until about 5 mos when I found that another carrier was more comfortable with heavier babies. At that point, the ergo was a lifesaver and I learned to put him on my back which was GREAT for work.
Also, if at some point you want some help, you can hire a mother's helper to be at work with you and the babe....someone to play with baby, but you're there if s/he needs you. And mother's helpers are cheaper than other childcare.
Agree w/ pp about the 2 shirts instead of a nursing tank thing....