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Attachment Parenting
redshirting?
Just saw there was a piece on 60 minutes about redshirting. Anyone see it? What was the jist?
We are considering holding DS back for a variety of reasons. But am curious as to what others think. We have received both positive and negative opinions from lots of people on this topic so far.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: redshirting?
I didn't watch 60 minutes but I think it is an interesting topic.
I teach Pre-K3 and I have one student who turned 4 in July but his mom still wanted him in the 3 year old program. She had a lot of pressure to go ahead and send him to Kindergarten and skip the 4 year old program because he turns 5 in July. She told me that I get to make the call. I said that if he were my son I would absolutely send him to the 4 year old program. I would rather my child be the oldest in school than the youngest.
With all that said, I would not hold my child back if they were in Middle/High school based solely on age.
I think it depends on the kid. I was the youngest in my grade and honestly I was ahead of a lot of the kids academically and fine socially. It kinda stinks when you get to high school and are the last to drive, and then in college when you are the last to drink.
but I was happy to graduate college when I was 21!
My niece is an average student - she was on the cusp of the age limit and my sister held her back. I think it works for her. She also held my nephew back and he is very bright. It works for him in sports and that type of stuff, but he is very bored in school and starting to act out/ fail classes because he just doesn't care and isn't challenged. He's 13 though.
As a teacher, I will probably "redshirt" my child (due July 2). We are on a year-round schedule here in San Diego, so school starts mid- july. I have a few reasons for doing this:
First, I was NOT red-shirted (I was the youngest in my graduating class). While I did fine socially and really well academically, standards have dramatically changed since when I was in school. For instance, what I learned in 6th grade, we now teach in 4th grade. Quite frankly, a lot of the current standards are NOT developmentally appropriate, and we are asking/requiring kids to do things that their brains just cannot handle yet.
Second, I can almost ALWAYS tell the kids who are the youngest in my classroom, and the ones who are the oldest. Guess who my top students usually are... the older ones.
Absolutely.
I watched that segment, and it made some good points, but it also made me really angry at the mom of the 6 yr old. I found myself to be more like Holden's mom. That said, DD will hopefully be started early, not late.
And one last random thought, to just throw out there... I live in NY, where Kg is not mandatory, so I feel like if a mom "redshirts" their kid, that child should just be put into 1st grade along with kids his/her age. There will be others in there who did not attend KG.
Chemical Pregnancy 10/5/10
BFP 2/7/11--m/c 2/12/11
TTD pics taken by knottie jen&louie
My late July child and soon to be early August or late July child will be starting kindergarten when they're 5 - when they're supposed to - unless we have a compelling reason to hold them back.
My Blog
The cutoff here is September, so we won't really have a choice. DD will turn 6 the month after school starts.
How ridiculous is it that we're responding to developmentally inappropriate curriculum by holding our kids back from school? The system is backwards. I hate that the more I learn about public school today the more I think about homeschool, which I NEVER would have considered before I had a kid. It's not really feasible for us anyway, so, yeah, looking forward to school. =/
I would have to have more than just "wanting my child to be the oldest" in the class room as a reason.
After a point, maturity levels even out, and the ability to process the educational information is not based as much on age as personal ability. Being 19 as a senior in highschool is not the coolest thing in the world either...especially when your "maturity" leveled out in middle school.
I would see what the educators say. If your child's pre-school teacher or the school district's evaluator (my mother was her district's evaluator for the pre-k, k and pre-first classes) say.
I just watched the segment on the 60 minutes website. I just have to say, I LOVED the guy from Erikson Institute Samuel Meisels.
I also disagree with the the parents who think older children are better off in the long run. I think, as children and adults, it's important to be around kids/people who are smarter than you are. If you are the smartest/best it is hard to become better. A good example for me is in sports. When I was a kid I played soccer and was quite good. The best think I ever did was play on a boys team when I was about 12, and then play up an age group after that. (travel, not school sports) Playing with the kids who were better made me that much better. Then, when I went back to playing in my age group I was really good and a leader on the team. I also was way more interested in school when I was challenged instead of finding things easy. If I was challenged in a class I did the work and got an A. If I was bored I generally didn't do any homework, aced the test and then got a C in class.
Again, this is all just personal experience, but I would rather have my kid challenged than make things easier for them. And again, I think it has a lot to do with temperament.
Here's an interesting take on the practice:
https://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html
I'm a December 11 baby and started late. I was bored all the time in school in my early years. I ended up skipping a grade in high school and going on to college right after where for the first time in my life I was academically challenged. I would not hold my kid back unless there was a majorly compelling reason to do so.
We saw the piece last night. It's one thing if your kid isn't ready socially or academically. But to hold your kid back a year so he'll have an advantage in sports and "be a leader"?? That's just offensive.
I mean, every class is going to have a tallest and a shortest, and a youngest and an oldest. I got the impression from the piece that these are the parents who are going to end up calling college professors to complain about grades and showing up on interviews with their kids.
I think if it is done it needs to be before grade school. My middle DD turned 5 two weeks before K started, she was more immature and really not ready I wish we would have kept her back one more year. She ended up sick at home most of the year and at the recommendation of the teacher she repeated K.
Every one knows their child best some are ready and some are not.
My ds is small as well, 4% for height and weight, and I would never hold him back because of that - and it makes me hate redshirting even more since he will be in a class with kids who could be a year older, and a head taller, than him, simply because we started him when we should and other kids stay back.
There are individual cases where kids aren't ready,and I am ok with that. But based simply on a birthday? No thanks.
I don't have an opinion one way or another. I was born in July and started kindergarten a few months after turning 5; it worked well for me. I liked being on the younger side, too; I didn't suffer socially, and the little things like driving later and drinking (legally) later was never a big deal for me. Now that I'm having a July baby, I expect she'll likely start kindergarten at 5 too. But... it's all dependent on my kids. If they seemed socially immature or were struggling with school appropriate behaviors, I'd give them an extra year in pre-K before moving them on. I want them to love school and learning, not feel frustrated or behind.
I'll never understand people who have strong ideological feelings about education independent of their specific child's situation (having just spent the weekend visiting extended family who attempted to persuade me to their educational perspectives for my unborn child
). It all depends on who they are as people and students, and what works best for them.
July 3rd, 2012 ~ Hang in there sweetheart, we can't wait to meet you!
Our cutoff was Sept 15th my bday, sept 6. I was really little too, I wore a 3 T when I started school. I graduated on time was top 10 in my class and a scholar athlete. I would only redshirt if my child was absolutely not ready.
Sorry for errors I am holding a squirmy 1 month old.
And I'm sure their kids will all thank them when they're 19 or 20 and are just graduating high school.
I'm on the fence. As a June baby, I was always the youngest in my class. The next youngest had a February birthday. I was terribly behind socially and academically and would always hear my parents say they should have waited another year. I found that I made friends with the kids in the class below me rather than in my own class.
But, as an adult it's the complete opposite. I only have two IRL friends who are younger than me. The rest are 5,10, even 20 years older than me. Generally speaking, I don't like hanging out with people my exact age.
For my own children, I'd probably look at the dynamics of the class. If there are kids on both ends of the spectrum age wise and they can keep up with the work/tasks then I'd put them in the correct class. If the class ends up have a 4-6 month age difference between the youngest and second youngest and I didn't think my kids was able to keep up, I'd probably wait another year. For me it isn't about being the best in the class, it's about being able to mentally handle it.