Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Not a guaranteed 24-hour anesthesia immediately available for emergency c-section?
I don't understand how a hospital can NOT guarantee anesthesia for a CS. It's major surgery. They must have an anesthesiologist on call at all times. I can understand not guaranteeing anesthesia for a vaginal delivery but it's not like they can cut you open without anesthetic.
Presumably if you go for VBAC and end up needing a CS it'd be an ECS which can happen even in the case of primigravid vaginal delivery.
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That was the same with my hospital. I went in for delivery and the anesthesiologist only worked until 12am. I declined the epi as I had planned a vaginal, med-free birth. Once they decided I needed an emerg c/s, I had a 20 minute wait before I could get my epidural while they called him back.
There was an anesthesiologist in the ER, but they won't use him in L&D unless it's life and death.
This is called BAIT AND SWITCH. He's leading you on saying its a possibility, when in reality is not due to ACOG position statement and liability insurance requiring on site 24/7 anesthesia at all times for anyone attempting a TOL (trial of labor).
If this hospital does not have what you need to attempt a VBAC, then you must look for a different hospital, and even maybe a different doctor (if the doctor doesn't have privileges at an adequate hospital) to get your VBAC.
I may be wrong about this, but I don't think nurses or OBs are supposed to redose epidurals. So if she needed more medication in her epi for the cesarean, they would still have to wait for the anesthesiologist. I remember when I had an epi during my first labor, and also when I worked in L&D, the nurses had to call anesthesia anytime an epidural needed adjusting or ran out of meds. And often that meant people had to wait.
I suppose it is no different than if you are at home or at a birth center and have to transfer for a cesarean. But the hospital should be clear about their limitations and the fact that they are probably not able to handle an emergency as rapidly as a hospital with 24 hour anesthesia can. But ITA that it is absurd for a hospital like that two say they can handle other labors but not handle VBACs. It really comes down to liability, not safety.
ITA. But I am sure this hospital is only warning the VBAC people that they don't have 24 hour anesthesia. All of the other women there are probably under the false assumption that they are delivering in a hospital therefore they have immediate access to those things. Definitely a liability thing. I was planning a birth center birth for my first (before I was transferred for the c/s). I had to sign no less than three forms during that time stating that I understood that I was not going to have those types of things (epi, etc) available to me if I delivered there. The hospital who doesn't have that immediately available should likewise be informing patients.
I have the same issue with where I live. The closest hospital with a 24 hour anesthesiologist is 1 1/2 hours away. The way it was explained to me is it is not so much about having to perform an emergency c-section (I'm sure they have a plan of action in place) if labor is not progressing or if baby's heart rate drops, but it is more about if you have a uterine rupture while attempting a VBAC. A placenta rupture is usually associated with a uterine rupture and if that is the case they have 8-10 minutes to get the baby out.
Most of these hospitals have an anesthesiologist on call but it may take up to 30 minutes for them to get there. It is one of the downfalls of delivering in a rural hospital. My OB has explained to me that all of the stars will have to be aligned for me to have a successful VBAC. Basically I would have to go in to labor naturally when all the proper medical personnel are present.
Thanks for this feedback! I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow and am going to bring all this up.
I appreciate you sharing with me.
ACOG relaxed their recommendations regarding VABC about 2 years and issued a new statement:
Finally, the statement also provides the following recommendations that are based mainly on consensus and expert opinion (level C):
https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/725597
If a hospital isn't safe to VBAC in, it's not safe to birth in. Period. There are plenty of other obstetrical emergencies that the hospital needs to handle - cord prolapse, sudden and acute fetal distress, women with placenta previa who go into labor, women presenting with an ruptured ectopic pregnancy. These are serious conditions that require immediate medical attention. Somehow hospitals manage to deal with them.
Hospitals also have to deal with all kinds of other emergencies that require anesthesiologists - car accidents, ruptured appendixes, etc,.
If you know you want an epidural, they will probably just call the anesthesiologist in. That has nothing to do with VBAC in general - I'm sure they have to get called in all the time for that. And if the anesthesiologist is on call, he can sleep in the hospital while you are there just in case. I'm sure it's silly to have him there while no one is laboring (and believe me - L&D floors in small hospitals are often DEAD with nothing going on). But if there is a patient who has a notable risk factor, there is no reason why he can't sleep there if he is on call. And I am SURE they have on-call anesthesiologists for women wanting epidurals!!
ETA: I know this sounds barbaric but it IS possible for the OB to shoot you up with a lot of local anesthetic to get the baby out in an extreme emergency. Having an epidural in place should help. I know that sounds awful and I am NOT suggesting that's a good option. I'm simply saying that it has been done in extreme emergencies.