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Multiples
Why won't they nap?!?
Last week I finally realized I needed to make some changes to my girls sleeping schedules. It had gotten to the point where I was nursing someone ALL.NIGHT.LONG. I used the gradual extinction model (go in after 1 minute, then 2 minutes, then 3 minutes, etc. Repeat a phrase, but no touching. I also stopped nursing them to sleep) and they were sleeping through the night in 3 days!
Why won't this work for nap times??? I am sitting here listening to DD2 cry and my heart is breaking.
They are 10 months old ( 8.5 adjusted). They get up at 6:15 (although DD2 got up at 5:30 today) and I put them down at 9 and 1 for naps and then bedtime is at 7:30.
I nursed them before their nap and they couldn't stay awake, so why are they suddenly WIDE awake once in their cribs?
I will gladly take any suggestions or ideas....
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Re: Why won't they nap?!?
Mine are 11 1/2 months...and our wake time is a little less, not sure if that would help yours. I'll let you know our schedule, not sure if it will work for you, but just to give you some ideas...
They wake up at 6:30 (DS is always always awake b/f this though at 5:45-6:15 lately). I had been putting them down for a nap at 8:30 for the past two months...but now they go down at 8:45 (DS sometimes need to go down earlier because he wakes early). They don't usually seem very tired before I put them down, but they typically go to sleep within 5-10 minutes at the most..I try to catch them before they get overtired. They wake between 10:15-10:45 (today was about 10:30). They take their afternoon nap around 1:30 (today they slep till 3:10 and 3:15). They usually have their bedtime bottle at 6:30ish and are in bed around 6:45/7.
Also, we don't do bottles right before a nap (only right before bedtime, and we always put them down awake)...we follow an eat/play/sleep schedule. And for waketime we are close to a 2 hour (1st waketime), 3 hour (2nd waketime), 4 hour (last waketime) schedule.
Is the nap trouble something new? Could it be teething or just a rough patch? Mine are generally very good sleepers, but we've had a few crazy weeks here and there. Good luck!!
Thanks for your reply! They might be able to do the 2,3,4 hour wake time. Feeding wise it goes something like this -- They won't take more than 4 oz at a time (or so my nanny tells me -- it is SOOO hard to not be with them during the week to REALLY know what is going on!!) but it really might be time to consolidate one of the bottle feedings
6:15 - WAKE UP -- nurse
7:00 - eat breakfast
8:30 - bottle or nurse -- then brush teeth, read stories
9:00 - NAP
11:00 - lunch
12:30 - bottle or nurse --- then brush teeth, read stories
1:00 - NAP
4:00 - nurse
5:00 - dinner
7:00 - nurse -- then brush teeth, read stories
7:30 - BED
My first thought is your first morning nap starts too late. The first nap should start NO later than 2 hours after they wake in the morning. Since yours are up at 6:15, that morning nap should be starting more like 8am. Waiting until 9am is setting them up to be overtired for the entire day, so by the time they get to that second nap they are overstimulated and cannot settle down to sleep because they are pumped up on cortisol. Second I would say your bedtime of 7:30pm is way too late. At this age they really should be getting 12 hours of overnight sleep. So if they are getting up at 6:15am, I would be putting them in bed at 6pm, so they sleep 12 hours overnight.
Sleep begets sleep. The more sleep they get at night the better they will nap during the day. The better they nap during the day the better sleep they will get overnight. If you cannot get them down before 7:30pm because of work conflicts then I would say to give them a quick 30 min. to 45 min. nap in the later afternoon. I followed the 2-3-4 rule starting at 7 months adjusted. So for you it would go something like this:
6:15 - wake up
8/8:15 - lay down for first nap of day. Say they wake up at 9:30 from nap (you can adjust it to what your schedule really is) then 2nd nap should start NO later than 3 hours after waking from first nap.
12:30- lay down for second nap of day. If you don't get them down by the 3 hour mark they might become overtired and not want to nap or not nap as long and then you run into a terrible evening until you get them settled for bed.
6pm - Have them to the point of heading to bed, so start your routine at say 5:30 so you have them asleep in their cribs at 6:15pm.
I know this sound hard, but it works. I was a sleep natzi the first year and I created great sleep habits for my girls. And now at 3 1/2, they still sleep great, they don't nap anymore, but still get 12 hours of sleep overnight and they never give me trouble going to bed. Most nights they tell me it is time to go to bed, they run to their room, grab a book and settle in to have a story. Getting them into a good sleep pattern and routine that first year really helps in the following years.
I am not sure if you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, if they get up at 6:15am for work then stick with that. If you stay at home and 6:15 is an early wake up time for you, you might find after getting them to bed earlier, they start napping longer during the day and then they will start sleeping in a little bit for you. At 7 months I went back to work, so my girls went to bed at 6pm everynight, so they could get up at 6am the next day. At 11 months I was laid off, so I became at SAHM. I stuck with the 12 hours overnight and getting at least 3 hours of daytime sleep and they started waking up at 7:30am on their own and I was able to push their bedtime back to 7pm, so my DH could spend more time with them in the evening when he was in town working.
I know how difficult it is to figure out the schedule, especially when you aren't with them all day. I leave the house by 7:15 and get home at 6/6:15 most days. It's a rush to get home for bedtime.
I would try cutting out a feeding...maybe one before a nap? Also, if you need to for your schedule...maybe give them a late afternoon catnap until they can handle a longer wake time. If they don't sleep well during the day, I'd try putting them down earlier (maybe on the weekend!), sometimes if they are ovetired, they might need to catch up on sleep. DS is just not a 12 hour sleeper though, he's getting closer, but he's always awake early in the morning.