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3rd Trimester
So annoyed at my mother (vent..kinda long)
Every time I try to talk to my mother about anything pregnancy related I end up feeling attacked by her. Its really annoying because we're usually pretty close, and see each other quite often. But I end up having to hide things from her. Like I still havent told her about the GD diagnosis I got like 10 weeks ago.
Earlier I told her I was a little worried because at my OB appointment on Wed. my B/P was elevated (130/72) and their was "a little protein" in my urine. The doctor gave me a creatinine PIH lab and it came back normal. And at the diabetes appointment I had immediatey after the OB they took my B/P again and it was 114/70 so I think I'm okay.
Anyways I tried telling this to my mother, and she flipped out. Saying that I'm not drinking enough milk. She wants me drinking 4 glasses per day. She went on and on about how her dog had eclampsia after it gave birth and it was from low calcium levels in her blood. She kept talking about how I'm building a baby, and the baby will have rickets, and blah blah blah. Then she started talking about this teenage girl we know who starved herself & took diet pills all during her pregnancy in order to fool her parents, and how the baby has tremors now.
It really offends me that she would compare my eating habits to this girl. I eat well. I'm not a big milk drinker but I do try to have at least one big glass a day. In addition I eat lots of string cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. And of course I take my prenatal vitamin. I'm just so annoyed! I guess I just have to learn not to talk to my mother about anything pregnancy related. I just feel like I'm being blamed for something I have very little control over. Hence the reason I haven't told her about the GD, and I certainly won't be telling her at all if I don't have to.
Earlier I told her I was a little worried because at my OB appointment on Wed. my B/P was elevated (130/72) and their was "a little protein" in my urine. The doctor gave me a creatinine PIH lab and it came back normal. And at the diabetes appointment I had immediatey after the OB they took my B/P again and it was 114/70 so I think I'm okay.
Anyways I tried telling this to my mother, and she flipped out. Saying that I'm not drinking enough milk. She wants me drinking 4 glasses per day. She went on and on about how her dog had eclampsia after it gave birth and it was from low calcium levels in her blood. She kept talking about how I'm building a baby, and the baby will have rickets, and blah blah blah. Then she started talking about this teenage girl we know who starved herself & took diet pills all during her pregnancy in order to fool her parents, and how the baby has tremors now.
It really offends me that she would compare my eating habits to this girl. I eat well. I'm not a big milk drinker but I do try to have at least one big glass a day. In addition I eat lots of string cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. And of course I take my prenatal vitamin. I'm just so annoyed! I guess I just have to learn not to talk to my mother about anything pregnancy related. I just feel like I'm being blamed for something I have very little control over. Hence the reason I haven't told her about the GD, and I certainly won't be telling her at all if I don't have to.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So annoyed at my mother (vent..kinda long)
Thank you for your response. I was afraid I'd just get a few people calling me whiny or something. Yeah I've had to hold my tongue and respond with a lot of uh huh's. She is seriously obsessed with my calcium intake, lol. I didn't think she'd be able to turn my possible preeclampsia back to calcium, but by golly she did. :-) I don't know why shes so obsessed, maybe because she grew up with some financial hardships?
Shes always pushing me to eat (& of course drink milk) which is tricky because of the GD diagnosis. If at all possible I want a vaginal birth, and I won't be able to if I have a 9 or 10lb baby (dr. wants it under 8lbs13oz for vaginal).
Oh and little Gisele is too adorable! Congratulations!!
Lol, I said the same thing about them being completely different.
Then she googled "preeclampsia and calcium" and these websites popped up:
https://www.nutraingredients.com/Research/Calcium-intake-could-reduce-pre-eclampsia-suggests-review
https://www.bastyrcenter.org/content/view/1005/
While it's still pretty unclear about whether calcium would help, I suppose it couldn't hurt. Thanks for the response!
What she said!
I'd tell her off. A dog and a human have different anatomy and physiology! It's an insult to you, or that's the way I would take it. Your BP is elevated, but its not dangerously elevated right now plus it sounds like your OB is keeping a close eye on you. I get stress related high BP, so it could be that too.
I don't think if I were you, I would tell your mom about the GD. I'm diabetic, but I've been diabetic for years (Type 1 here!) and really it's not that big of a deal. My mom was harassing me about it, so I told her I'm not injecting insulin, I'm injecting a sedative to keep the parasite in my stomach from coming out and killing her...haha She didn't think it was funny, but me and DH did!
As for eating habits...been there too! My mom's a Ped and during my first trimester I lost 9lbs and for the life of me I couldn't keep any weight on. My mom accused me of starving myself even though I was eating like 400 carbs or more a day! Mom's sometimes say stupid things and you just have to let it go in one ear and out the other.
My doctor is most definately keeping a close eye on me. I think I'm okay though. As you said it was elevated, but I get kind of stressed out at the OB's office. And I was also a bit dehdrated (dark urine), so I think that could have contributed to the protein. I'm going to work really hard to do my daily walking and drink lots of fresh water, and see if that helps.
I'm diet controlled at the moment, although the OB dr. makes it a point to say that I "don't need meds...yet." Which annoys me but whatever. Diabetes dr. says I'm doing "excellent" hasn't once mentioned meds. I haven't gained any weight at all with this pregnancy, but I was obsese to start. Wed. u/s estimated the baby is 5lb 8oz. which puts her in the 72 percentile. I am definately not starving myself. But my mother, geesh, she just drives me nuts.
Thanks for the response, I appreciate it!
THIS. That woman asks me if I'm eating healthily *every single time we speak*. I finally asked her how many damn times she was gonna ask me that.
Her response was that she just wanted everything to be perfect. Sigh....
In any case - I've found that it makes me feel better to go with a combination of sharing only the most basic pieces of info. and calling her out when she gets annoying.
And OP - I'm so glad no one got on your case or called you "whiny" or anything. It can be hard to look for help / advice / sympathy when you're worried that you're doing to be put on the defensive. Since theoretically whatever engendered your post probably already has you feeling defensive in the first place!
I'm sorry about her attitude. Honestly, I would just ignore her.
As for the milk, not a great choice with GD. It can really raise your blood glucose. Stick to the cheese and plain yogurt for your calcium. Also, doesn't hurt to supplement your vitamin with a calcium pill. Just take it the opposite time of day from your vitamin so your body can absorb it efficiently.
As if pregnancy isn't hard enough, the grandmother somehow needs to take over with worry and criticism of you! The same thing happened to me- my mom has a very subtle way of criticizing me, and trying to push her own opinions on me. I try my best not to let her bother me- but that's easier said than done for me and most everyone else!
Could you say something like "Mom, I appreciate your concern because I know you care about me and the baby, but I'm doing the very best I can. Your support is what I need most right now."
Ugh....I'm sorry! My mom is the same way. She's a nurse too, so she feels like she knows everything. It's gotten to the point where I just don't talk to her about some stuff. We're generally pretty close. But I can't even call her to complain about anything (like my annoying sil, or how uncomfortable I am now that I'm in 3rd tri) without her telling me that my stress is hurting my baby. As if complaining about my annoying sil for 5 minutes is somehow killing my baby!! It's so annoying!!
So yes, I understand how you feel. I passed my GD test, but if I didn't, I don't think I would have told my mom either. So if you don't want to tell her about it, just don't. She doesn't need to know everything, especially if then she stresses you out about it. GL!!
Ugh. I'm sorry! I'm not close with my Mom, but I remember the way she criticized my sister when she was pregnant so I have no problem keeping my distance today.
Sounds a lot like my MIL. Before we conceived I'd been lurking pregnancy forums and she overheard a conversation me and DH were having about all the symptoms, hormones, etc., that I would experience and me asking him if he was, "really ready for all of that." She *snorted* at me and says, "Have YOU ever been pregnant?" Clearly the answer was no and since she'd been eavesdropping on our conversation she should've known that. But I indulged her, said no, and she says, "Then you have no idea what you're talking about." We're almost into the 2nd trimester and still haven't told her we've conceived yet and I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible!
Your baby is beautiful...
Not quite as much regarding my pregnancy, but in general my mother has always had that ability to dig into me about my personal choices. Unfortunately my response over the last decade has been to stop sharing a lot with her. Which is a shame because we are also rather close and live only a few minutes apart. Every now and again I just put my foot down and tell her my decision is made. Her response is usually a passive agressive "well I was just trying to tell you what I've heard/know but I don't mean to nag you..." My Father often advocates on my behalf that she needs to back off.
God help all of us having girls that we remember this and try not to nag them when they are grown a$$ women!