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Attachment Parenting
webMistress0609
member
Crying @ Montessori Drop Off
webMistress0609
member
Ari started an absolutely wonderful Montessori school mid Jan. He goes Thur & Fri a.m. for 3 hours.
The first 2 weeks he ran into class so fast he barely had time to say goodbye & talked about going back every day. Since then we've had varying amounts of crying at drop off (sometimes only seconds, sometimes 5-10 mins) & he says all a.m. before going that he doesn't want to go.
Of course, when I pick him up he's usually excited about what he did that day & says he misses school & his friends. I have asked him why he's sad about going to school & he says he loves school but wants mommy to go with him.
I have mostly chalked this up to adjusting to being in a child care setting & one of the teachers mentioned that since he goes so long between coming again that may be contributing. We can't afford to do more than 2 days a week right now, nor do I really care to, so sending him more days isn't in the cards. I talked to the directess about splitting the days (like Tues/Thur) but he really enjoys the programs they offer on Th/Fr & the school prefers 2 days in a row - it's supposed to be better for the kids consistency wise.
Any tips or advice here? I have no concerns about the school or how they handle his separation anxiety, they seem to be handling it well. I'm making drop off short & sweet to not prolong anything, as that seems to work best. We've talked a lot about it's okay to miss mommy while we're apart & that I'll be back very soon, etc. If this was week 4 I wouldn't be so worried, but it will be 2 months next week. Today was particularly rough - he tried to run away from the teacher when I left him, cried several times throughout the day about missing me, & was crying when I picked him up. I hate it for him.
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Re: Crying @ Montessori Drop Off
Maybe on a Thursday just say "OK no school today" then explain to him that he is missing school and his friends, then If he is sad explain he can go on Friday. That would be what I would try first, especially if my daughter cried most of the time she was there.
Otherwise maybe prep him during the week, like on Tuesday explain in two days he will be going to school without you, then on wed explain it again so he is more 'prepared'.
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
I don't have a ton of advice but DD also did not start crying until week 8. It threw me so much at that point. DH and I both cried the first day we took her to pre-school as we walked out but she was totally fine. Until week 8...It lasted a week or 2 but she was going M-W-F. There have been a few times when she's been sick or holidays where she's had a tougher time going back.
I agree with PP about talking about what days are school days. DD is really into her calendar and every day wakes up and asks what day it is. It is either a "school day" "play with memaw day" or "family weekend". We talk about what is special about each of those three types of days. Now she pretty much always knows the right day except for the weekends. It seems to have helped her since every other day is different and she is big on routine.
When we started back in the fall I was on the fence about 2 (T, Th) days or 3 (MWF). His teachers said they saw more separation anxiety in the T, TH class because of the length of time between that Th-T stretch. It makes sense, and DS is definitely more clingy when he's missed a class, even though he talks about missing school and his friends when he does. For us it's helped that he goes to our church preschool so he is also there on Sunday morning. He warmed up to the location before he even started school so it was just a matter of the people and situation once school started.
I think a calendar is a great idea! Make it part of the morning to routine to check the calendar and talk about what is happening today and what will happen tomorrow. We also have "Llama, Llama Misses Mama" book which is about Little Llama starting school.