D&C is done :( (DD in ticker)
Well the dreaded D&C is done. Physically I've been actually pretty good. However I feel like it may all start tomorrow w/ cramping and heavy bleeding.
Emotionally...I was just a wreck. I was fine until we walked into the pre-op area and then the overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be there hit me hard. I went to the bathroom and just after the few moments in there by myself it all hit me at once. I couldn't keep it together. Although the nurses and doctors were very nice and understanding it was just too much. Plus, I hate hate hate being in hospitals so everything about the room, the curtains, the gown, the IV and machines all just gives me major anxiety. Afterwards, I felt better than I expected I would...but wanted out of there as soon as I could. So I basically told the nurse "yep I feel great, can I go?"
BUT, the worst of the worst and the 1 thing I was ABSOLUTELY not expecting is when the nurse gave me a form and brochure on what to do w/ the remains and we had to decide if we had the Hospital send them on to a cemetary or if we contact a funeral home ourselves....that just sent me over the edge. I just never ever even considered what happens with that. The good thing is that is was shortly after that they knocked me out cold.
All in all...pretty much worst day ever but I guess I hold on to the fact that if this one wasn't meant to be, then I prefer that this happen sooner rather than later. And maybe our little guardian angel will watch out for us.
This board has been very helpful and even if none of you read all the way through this post... its nice that I can let all of this out.
Thanks ladies.
Re: D&C is done :( (DD in ticker)
Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12
I saw your post too. So sorry we had to do this...I've gone over the last 10 weeks over and over in my head and tried to figure out what I did wrong, or how I could have prevented this; was it the one Sudafed I took because I had a cold, did I drink too much caffeine, or not eat healthy enough or not rest enough. Maybe there's a reason maybe there's not. I said my goodbye quietly last night and apologized that I could not take better care of he or she.
One day at a time. Take care of yourself and a speedy recovery for you too.
I find it interesting that no one spoke to me or gave me a packet regarding the remains of my LO. It wasnt until I saw the doctor that I told him I was pretty sure I had passed the baby the night before, I encountered several nurses who did all my pre-op and gave me all my paperwork and no one mentioned anything like that. How far along were you? Maybe they didnt say anything bc I was only 10w3 days?
Regardless, my mom went out and bought us a pretty little gardenia tree to bury the baby under. DH and I planted it last night and said out goodbyes.
He's my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping.
<a href="http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk121/behapybride/?action=viewI was 10 wks3days also but I never had any bleeding or cramping before my D&C so maybe thats why?
The gardenia tree sounds very nice though.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for all of your losses ladies. It has been 9 weeks since my d&c and it still feels like yesterday. I remember when they asked me about the remains, I was totally caught off guard. The nurse was very sorry to have to ask me that since I was crying the whole time! That threw me over the edge! I didnt know that was possible for such a tiny baby. Keep your chin up and remember over the next few weeks, the pain will come like waves. One minute youre fine, the next your crying while unloading the laundry bc your realize you arent pregnant anymore (true story).
Take care of yourself and remember, its ok to break down, youve been throug alot!
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013