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Attachment Parenting
KCKappa
member
If you BF LO to sleep...
KCKappa
member
If you BF your LO to sleep (or did at some point), two questions:
- How long would you say it takes each time? I'm asking because DD BFs to sleep for almost all naps and bedtime and used to be asleep within 10-15 minutes in most cases - but for the past ~month has been taking at least 30 minutes, sometimes 45 or more. Obviously she isn't actively taking in milk this entire time - she drinks for probably 10 minutes, then just comfort sucks with no/very little swallowing until she falls asleep (and even then she'd prefer to stay on the boob while sleeping if I'd let her). Anyone else experience this? She nurses at least 2-3 other times/day + 3-4 times overnight, so I don't think it's that she's not getting enough milk or cuddles. It's making me feel like I need to cut out nursing to sleep - but I'm not really sure how to go about that.
- How do you handle nights when you need to be gone? I have a couple of overnight trips coming up in the next two months and am nervous about leaving her with DH or anyone else (likely my mom or sister for one of the trips) since she's really only gone to sleep at bedtime for them a handful times and those were when she was much littler and fell asleep relatively easily with some rocking. Not to mention she wakes up at least 3-4 times throughout the night to BF, so who knows how that will go...
Ugh. I love nursing (and so does she!) and have no plans to wean anytime soon, but it feels like it's starting to make some things more difficult instead of less.
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Re: If you BF LO to sleep...
DS STILL nurses to sleep. He has always been a super fast nurser, When he is being lazy or not quite ready to go to sleep he can take up to 20 minutes but usually if he is tired it is not more then 5-10 minutes.
He still wakes up a couple times a night at least... 2 times on a great night/6-8 on a sick/teething night, and wants to nurse back to sleep each time. Because of this we have not left him over night yet, so I can not offer any advice in this area.
DD still BF to sleep. It usually takes her a long time to fall asleep. On a good night I will spend maybe 20 min with her and on a bad night (like last night!) I will spend 1.5 - 2 hours with her. On bad nights she gets restless and I think it is either teething, growing pains, or she is just too wound up to go to sleep. I also think she likes to cuddle with me.
DH used to be able to put her to sleep but we moved in January and ever since then she will only accept me putting her to bed. When DH tries he is in there for 1-2 hours with her crying most of the time. I don't dare go in there and take over when that happens, because she would then see if she cries long enough, mama eventually comes in. As you can see from my ticker, we are expecting a new LO and my BFing days will prob come to an end once my milk changes over to colostrum (I guess DD could be stubborn and still want to anyway, but I think I will try to stop when I'm about 20 weeks). I'm not sure if I want to tandem nurse yet.
I've never been gone at night before, but I think that if I had to be gone, DD would just have to deal with DH putting her to bed. Usually, if she knows I'm gone, she doesn't put up as much of a fight, at least that is what DH tells me. Maybe you could try a dry run and leave one morning on a weekend and not come back until later that night. That way your DH can try to put her down for naps w/o you and BFing.
I'm sure your LO will be fine on your over night trips. Your DH/mom/sister could always try giving her a bottle as she is going to sleep (I know it's bad to do that but if it's only for a few nights it shouldn't hurt her teeth) and then cuddling her like you do when you BF. I would just make sure that she knows that you have left - like make a production of saying bye bye and going out the door as your DH or whoever holds her. Then she knows that they are the only option.
DD nursed to sleep until she weaned at 28mos. It would take 20-30 minutes. Probably less than 30 but I would just sit there and snuggle and zone out and give DH enough time to clean the kitchen or watch something on T.V. Once she weaned it took at least 30 minutes of holding her hand for her to fall asleep. We still do that and it takes 10 minutes usually but can still take 30 minutes if she is really restless.
She never nursed throughout the night until 4:30am after the newborn phase. She did just fine going to sleep for DH or MIL with a bottle. I traveled for work when she was 16mos and DH gave her a bottle of expressed milk at her 4:30ish wake up time. As long as I'm not there going to sleep for someone else is not an issue.