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Blended Families
I dont even know...
Here is how it went. I moved in with s/o last January. My parents were "devistated" b/c my son, thier grandson was not around them anymore. Granted i was angry with them b/c they told me that my relationship with s/o was a mistake and it would never work just b/c they were mad at me. They still dont aknowledge my s/o as my s/o. We were taking my son up there like a couple times a month for visits and it was fine until it was time to leave and the threats came on about us letting him stay the night there (he was 2 going on 3) and i didnt feel it was necessary for him to stay up there without me. I wasnt about to stay up there unprepared also i had things to take care of at home (chickens, disabled in-laws, laundry blah blah blah). I wasnt prepared to let my son stay anywhere without me so i said no he cant, plus some things had happened before that made me not trust them at all. Since then, they have threatened with court and had lied and stuff was said that wasnt true. We went to court and nothing could be determined in the 7 min thing so we were ordered to come back for a longer court day. Fine whatever. Since then we scheduled a christmas supervised visitation. They want another one. We just had a baby and didnt have time to schedule another one. Things have calmed down and were plannin on scheduling another one and maybe asking them if they could bring my clothes with them, when i get a phone call from my lawyer yesterday saying they want a sworn statement to be done on video for the court hearing. Why??? Do they think i am lying about something?? the only people who have lied about anything is them. Whatever. I will do it just to show who is boss. S/o is stuck in the middle and i feel so bad for him b/c hes like i cant say anything about your son b/c he is not biologically mine, but he can put limits on our daughter. I keep trying to tell him that jake (my son) calls him daddy for a reason. Besides me he has been the only one he can truly trust as a dad. (his dad is another story). Im not coping well with all that is going on. Loosing sleep, less eating, generally feeling crappy all the time and it is affecting me and s/o. He knows there is something wrong but i wont tell him b/c i dont want to bother him with my head problems. what do i do??
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Re: I dont even know...
This. Your parents are taking you to court for visitation rights to their grandchild?
If they are as toxic as you are making them sound then quit putting your son around them. Tell them if they want to communicate, they need to do it through your lawyer.
Ask yourself if the decisions you are making are in your sons best interest. If they honestly are, then what your parents think doesn't really matter.
i dont think so,,,from which side are you talking??
Grandparents rights are not for the parents of a custodial parent. It's for non-custodial parents (or the parents of a parent who has passed away). As a mother, you are allowed to keep your son away from anyone you don't like or don't think is fit to be around your child.
Keep your child away from them. They sound mean.
How old is your DS, how old is your DD, how do you have disabled ILs that you are taking care of when you are not married, how long were you with your s/o when you moved in with him, and how old are you, and where is the BD?
Stop communications with your mother and go through the courts, they almost always side with the parents.
All of this
DS is 3.5, DD is 6 weeks, I live with s/o and his parents. Long story short, he sold his house to come back to take care of his disabled parents and help around the house. Me and s/o had been together for 6 months before i moved in with him then we have been married since March 2011. I am 23 and going to be 24 on friday. BD...i have no idea where he is, no contact for almost a year and a half now.
Srry my mistake. What doesnt make sence about it?? my parents are taking me to court b/c they want to see my son (thier grandkid). My husband is not my sons father, but he is the father to my daughter. My sons father has had no contact in over a year. I live with my husbands parents b/c he moved back from ohio to take care of them and thier house b/c they are disabled. My parents are pissed b/c they cant control what i do anymore so they have to try and do it through a higher power.
He didnt go on the potty like he was supposed to and peed and pooped in his underwear all day. i mean he only pooped once but he peed in his pants like 5 or 6 times while we were there.
i....i'm so confused.....
1) WHY are your parents threatening you? and with WHAT? (like, are they threatening to harm you physically or threatening legal action against you or threatening to dye their hair pink, or what??)
2) HOW did this situation even make it into a court room? What was the hearing for? Grandparents rights? Because that doesn't even apply here. or was it a CPS thing that your parents called CPS and tried to gain custody of your child(ren) because they feel you are unfit?
3) WHAT is the next court hearing going to decide? You said that "nothing could be determined in the 7 minute thing"....that doesn't even make sense. WHAT are the courts trying to determine?
4) why do your parents need supervised visitations? What have they done specifically that is toxic?
5) If you feel they are toxic, why are you allowing your son around them?
6) How did your child wet himself all day? and why? what do you think they did? And weren't you THERE to help/comfort/take him to the potty?
1. they threatened with legal action and took it.
2. it was for grandparent visitation.
3. the next court hearing is to setup a visitation schedule if they are granted visitation. "the 7 minute thing" is a thing they do in custody court that if a decision cant be made in 7 minutes or less they schedule a regular court date.
4. They are getting supervised visitation b/c i dont trust them. The first time i let my son stay the night there without me, they didnt bring him back the day they were supposed to, did not answer my calls, took him to the dr without my consent (for something i had already taken him for). Then the day they did bring him back they didnt call and let me know what was going on. They came to my husbands parents house unannounced and barged in thier house demanding to see my son. just a whole bunch of things made me not trust them at all.
5. I didnt think they were toxic at first but then when it started to show, we didnt go up there as much. Then they ruined it by threatening me and then taking action when they gave us thier word that they wouldnt do what they threatened.
6. He would not tell me he had to go potty and just pee on the floor, of course i was there to comfort him but he kept on doing it and i cant explain why.
Actually, it is true. Although the laws vary from state to state, the court is very unlikely to grant the grandparents court ordered visitation unless they have been completely cut off. Even in cases where the grandparents rarely see the children the court will uphold the parent's decision. Only if the grandparent has acted as the parent, or there is some form of abuse, or in the case of a bio parents death will the court grant court ordered grandparent visitation. Parents still have a right to decide who their child spends time with. In this case, it sounds like the grandparents do get to see the grandkids. Just not as often and in the way they want. OP, sorry about the earlier MUD comment. I too was so confused by the post and responses.
If you haven't had any contact with BD in over a year, you should be able to terminate his rights because of abandonment.
Is there a friend of the court representative, referee, or mediator trying to work things out between you and your parents? The substance abuse is a big deal. You are not required to allow your parents access to your child, especially if the stress of visiting them is so detrimental that he is regressing.
TTC since 08/2010
Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
Dx PCOS 3/2012
SA 5/25/12--normal
June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
ITA - there is def something being left out in this story. Why do your parents hate your SO much? what happened that triggered all the animosity?
My point was that these grandparents do not have a valid case. They do get to see the grandkids albeit not as often as they would like, there isn't any abuse (at least none that has been mentioned) and the bio parent isn't dead. I do agree with PPs that there must be something more to the story.
A. i was venting....i didnt expect anything from anyone.
b. the whole DH and SO thing sorry im new im getting used to things...you were new once werent you??
c. They never had custody of my child. I lived with them for a while but then i moved in with my DH and they were pissed about it b/c i wasnt bringing my DS to them when they wanted to see him b/c i was trying to build my own family. I have never been an unfit parent. Never had custody taken away from me. I did nothing wrong except move out, get married and be happy and do things on my own.
d. sorry if i didnt realize what was really going through his head. I tried numerous things to try and fix the problem. Then i decided to leave because nothing was working...
e. anything else you want to know or dont understand??
I have no idea why my parents hate him so much. Maybe its because i moved in with him. If anyone should hate anyone it should be me hating my parents and my DH hating them too. After i moved in with DH we went to thier house to talk and so my DS could see them and they told me that my relationship with him was never going to last and it was a huge mistake and they told me i was a horrible mother for doing what i did and DH was a horrible person for making us believe that he was going to take care of us. But all that still does not answer the question of why do they hate him so much. I have no idea, its beyond me.