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Second Sibling Group

Tiffany0614Tiffany0614 member
in Adoption
DH and I have been waiting to adopt for over a year (I know that's not really that long when trying to adopt but it feels like forever). We had a sibling group of three (6, 2, 1) in Dec. for a couple weeks until they were placed with family. We were so sad to see them leave. They were amazing kids! But three little ones were very hard. We got a call yesterday about another sibling group of 3 (almost the exact same ages). This is a little different because dads' rights have been terminated and they expect mom's to be on Thursday. We have to decide if we're up for it again. My heart screams YES but my head is saying it's crazy. I know we can do it though. This is probably awful to admit, but one of the hardest parts for me before was my dogs. My dogs are like my kids and I had enormous guilt that they weren't getting enough attention because we now had three children. And that it weighing on me now as we make this decision again. I know it seems awful. I guess I'm just scared...

Me 30/DH 31 Married in June 2003. TTC since 2008. M/c in Nov. 2008. D/x: DOR and MFI 5 cycles of IUI in 2010. IVF #1 in Nov. 2011. ER 11/22. ET 11/25. BFN.
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Re: Second Sibling Group

  • CheleChele member
    I don't think your feelings are awful. This is a big decision and I'm sure a lot of things go through your mind.  Good luck in whatever you decide! 
    10/27/07
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  • cogbotcogbot member
    Zero to three children is a big change.  I don't think you are awful.
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  • lady_chance_99lady_chance_99
    whatever you decide will be the right decision. gl
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  • ctbride08ctbride08 member

    You did it once, the second time has got to be easier, right? Wink

    really though, it is a lot to take in and no one could possibly fault you for turning it down.  Listen to your heart and the right children will find their way into your home.

    Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

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  • smash_effectsmash_effect member

    Hello! Wow! How exciting!! I can't claim to understand your exact situation but when my DS came to us (he was 7 days old) I had enormous guilt about my dogs. We had to kennel them more, they got less walks, etc etc. Our two dogs were like our kids! Now, fast forward 3.5 years and we are so much more balanced. The dogs got use to less attention and now they have a cute love/hate relationship with my son too.

     It has to feel right for you but I would encourage you that the dogs will adjust too. ;)

    Declan 8.25.08
    Lincoln 3.18.11
    Brooks 7.7.12



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  • Tiffany0614Tiffany0614 member
    Thanks everyone! I'm sure our dogs will adjust. It will just take time. They're both young and very friendly. It will just be a big adjustment for all of us. I spoke with the childrens' worker today. They're expecting the mom's rights to be terminated on March 19. She told us we're the only family they're considering so if all goes as planned on the 19th, we can begin having visits with the kids. The worry then will be family members coming forward. So we're just going to take it one step at a time. We're hoping for the best but know we have a long way to go. 

    Me 30/DH 31 Married in June 2003. TTC since 2008. M/c in Nov. 2008. D/x: DOR and MFI 5 cycles of IUI in 2010. IVF #1 in Nov. 2011. ER 11/22. ET 11/25. BFN.
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  • adoptingparent100adoptingparent100

    The dogs will adjust just as easily as you did. It is a big decision but it sounds like you are ready.

    We wish you the courage and commitment stand by whatever decision you make.

    We are looking for our second after 22 months so we have a feeling you will be fine with 3 again. 

    Good luck

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