1st Trimester

Ultrasounds on Facebook

am I the only one who finds this a very sensitive issue?

I cringe every time a friend of mine does this, knowing I have several more friends who are having issues TTC and this will sting. Even when I had my own m/c it burned really hard to see this. I find it's generally the younger friends who do this - this could be for a number of reasons- less friends who have problems TTC, more open to sharing more on facebook, etc.

I'm also not in to seeing other people's insides (uterus or otherwise). Seems private to me but maybe others have no issue with that. 

At the same time, I know people are excited and want to share their news with the world. 

What are your experiences with this?

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Re: Ultrasounds on Facebook

  • I personally never saw an issue with it and like seeing those things but I've never gone through something traumatic like that so I can understand your reasonings. I do have a friend however that has been trying to conceive for years and she wants to see all those U/S pics and hear everything so I guess every person is just different. 
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  • I think people are just excited. It is an exciting time and they want to share. Do you feel the same when you see a picture of their newborn?
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  • Most people going through IF find it hard to see those things.  Sorry, but they do.  Personally, I think it is ok to share news and occassional posts are ok. Afterall, you cant hide your pregnancy to spare someones feelings. But I think some of the constant sharing of every detail is a bit much.  I actually find the naked belly bump pictures way more personal than the us pics.  
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  • I can see both sides.  I have had friends who have had trouble conceiving and they are also FB friends.  I try to do a happy medium, where I am not rubbing my pregnancy in their face every day, but still sharing some things.  All of my friends were extremely supportive and very happy for us when we became pregnant.  I try to be very aware and not hurt anyone feelings, but at the same time, it is a happy moment, I want to share. 

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  • I don't see any problem with it. I'm one of those people who shared an u/s picture on Facebook. That being said, most of my Facebook friends are close family/friends. I really don't care who sees my "insides." It's not like I'm showing a picture of my vagina or something. I find u/s pictures to be totally awesome ... it's just so amazing to me to know that there is a human being growing inside of me.

    And I totally see how frustrating it can be for other women who are TTC, but that shouldn't affect someone's decision on whether or not to post an u/s...just my opinion.

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  • I tend to be apart of the 'If you don't want to see it don't look' camp. However I do see your perspective. I see it as being no different then posting pictures of my newborn though ... if it hurts to see the ultrasound I don't see how any other pictures would be different. My SIL has struggled with IF for 2+ years and told me she isn't bothered by the pictures. So I guess it's to each their own... I've defriended people before for things I didn't like and they can do the same back and I won't be offended.
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  • Pregnancy is such an exciting time. You should be able to share it with your friends and family. They should be happy for you, despite what they are going through. My good friend has been TTC forever, but she still wants to hear all about my pregnancy. I plan to post an u/s pic when we're ready to make it public knowledge. That being said, I don't plan to post about my pregnancy every day or act like it's the only thing important in the world. There's got to be a balance.
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  • I can certainly understand why someone struggling with IF would be sensitive about US pics but I don't think that should stop people from sharing their happiness if that's what they want to do. 
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  • I should clarify I didn't say it was gross, just private (to me, not everyone). I have no issue with breastfeeding in public.
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  • I've never considered this an issue. We do not live near our family so facebook is a great way to keep our family updated.
  • Idk. I think it's a little childish, but the only person I know who has done it was a 20-year-old who was carrying her third kid. She kind of made me think it was ridiculous. I understand it's easier, especially for family that doesn't live close, but when I think of posting them, I think of that little girl playing house and being all excited to push out another kid she can't afford.
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  • I dealt with IF for over 2 years....it killed me inside everytime I saw an u/s pic or a pregnancy related thing on FB.  I actually had to block some people.

    However, I don't blame people for posting whatever they want on FB.  It is their choice to post and my choice not to look.

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  • ::dirty lurker from TTGP butting in::

    I don't know how I will feel when it is my turn, BUT . . . my feeling now is that I don't think I would want to share that picture with all of my FB friends.  Sure I am friends with family and close friends on there, but I'm also friends with people I haven't seen since high school.  I guess I'm weirded out by the idea that some acquaintance could know as much about my pregnancy as close family members.

    As far as the struggling with TTC thing goes, yeah it's a reminder when you see someone's US picture and you are STILL not pregnant.  That said, I totally understand what a momentous occasion a pregnancy is for those of my friends who are posting.  And I'm happy for them (even if I do occasionally get sad for myself).

    ::butts back out::

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  • imageIBackBevo:
    I actually find the naked belly bump pictures way more personal than the us pics.  

    This, absolutely. 

  • Personally, I am not a fan of seeing ultrasound pictures on Facebook, for the exact reasons you described.  Not only is it a sensitivity issue but, frankly, I have no interest in seeing anyone's "insides", as you put it.

    That said, I am not a big fan of sharing pregnancy related things on FB in general.  As such, I have not, and will not, post an announcement, or anything of the sort.  (I have no problem answering questions if asked, I just make sure I am not the one sharing in the first place.)

     

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  • imagedixneuf:
    I should clarify I didn't say it was gross, just private (to me, not everyone). I have no issue with breastfeeding in public.

    I don't post ultrasound pics to FB and I breastfed in public and I still find ultrasounds ultra private. To each their own, but they're definitely NMS.

  • imagelauriemel:

    ::dirty lurker from TTGP butting in::

    I don't know how I will feel when it is my turn, BUT . . . my feeling now is that I don't think I would want to share that picture with all of my FB friends.  Sure I am friends with family and close friends on there, but I'm also friends with people I haven't seen since high school.  I guess I'm weirded out by the idea that some acquaintance could know as much about my pregnancy as close family members.

    As far as the struggling with TTC thing goes, yeah it's a reminder when you see someone's US picture and you are STILL not pregnant.  That said, I totally understand what a momentous occasion a pregnancy is for those of my friends who are posting.  And I'm happy for them (even if I do occasionally get sad for myself).

    ::butts back out::

     so appreciated! thanks!

    and I think you articulated something I didn't...everyone has different "friends" on Facebook..of course I have no issue with my family, close friends, etc. But when I went through my m/c and some woman I knew in high school who is 3 years younger than me is posting u/s pics of her 2nd child, well, OUCH! Yes, one could defriend but it's not something I could have anticipated ahead of time.

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  • Thanks. I hadn't thought about it that way. I had a friend do it and thought it might be a good idea to tell people. Now, I'm not as sure. I hadn't thought about it upsetting my friends that have had difficulties getting pregnant. I'll think about other ideas instead. On a side note, I do have trouble with public Breastfeeding. It makes me uncomfortable, even though it shouldn't. I breastfed my son for 15 months and still feel the same way.  

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  • unsubscribe if you donkt want to see it.  why should they hide their joy & excitement because of how otherks might feel about it?  with that said I realize I have not been in an IVF or m/c situation but I have a good friend who has been and my sister is going through IVF right now.  my friend is over the moon that we're pregnant at the same time and wants to know/see everything & back before the twins when she was m/cing a lot, another friend of ours got pregnant right out of the gate & she was very happy for them.  she wasn't resentful at all, and trust me I know, we talked about it a lot.  as for my sister I do feel badly that we got pregnant with no problem at all and they have been trying for years with no success & probably will not be able to conceieve on their own but...does that mean I have to hide her impending niece/nephew from her because it might make her feel bad?  does that mean I can't post pics of our growing baby on FB because it might make her feel bad? no. it doesn't.  I can't live my life based off of how someone else might feel, even if it is my sister.  I can be sensitive too it, but I cankt live my life based off of it.  just my two cents.
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  • An ultrasound being private because it's a picture of someone's "insides."  That's a new one.
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  • The good thing about facebook is there IS an unsubscribe button- you don't have to block your friends just because they're showing pics you might not want to see, you can just hide them from your feed, and check in as you wish on their page. 

     

    Also, I have no problem posting these things on FB, but if I knew I was offending or alienating a few of my friends who couldn't conceive, I'd make a pregnancy album that's only visible to the people I want to be able to see it. Facebooks privacy settings are quite easy to use now.

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  • I did not post any ultrasound pictures of my daughter, and have no intention of posting any of the new baby, either.

     

    However, I've never understood the whole "it's a picture of the inside of your uterus" objection to seeing other people's ultrasounds.  If an ultrasound were an actual photograph, like a colonoscopy picture, then sure.  But a black-and-white outline of a fetus is about as biological as an image created by the Hubble space telescope.

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  • We plan to announce our pregnancy by posting our first ultrasound picture.  I'm 35 and there was a period (of about 10 years) in my life that I believed I would never get the chance to be a mom.  Not because of IF, but because I was single and was convinced I would never find someone.  Happily, DH and I met, fell in love, married, and are now expecting our first child!  Imagine the excitement surrounding this pregnancy and how much I want all my friends and family to share in that excitement!  

    I do have a friend who has been TTC #2 for a year.  I plan to tell her first, in person, before we announce on facebook.  I also have a cousin who could never have a baby because of damage that was done during a rape in her childhood.  She adopted three adorable brothers about 4 years ago, but I still plan to tell her in person before announcing it.  I know she still wishes she could have carried a child, so I want to be sensitive to that.

    Also, like others have said - I adore ultrasound photos.  I think they are beautiful and amazing and I love to look at the ones my friends have posted on FB.  Quite a few of them have - in fact, every friend I have who is currently pregnant or has recently given birth posted their ultrasound photos.


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