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DD driving us nuts at bedtime - help!

LilyB2521LilyB2521 member
in Pre-School and Daycare

I think we've officially hit that stage where everyone says 3 years old is harder than 2!

Typically, we start DD's bedtime routine around 7:30, we brush, read a book or two, sing a song, tuck her in, and she's in bed by 8:00...great.  All is (was) well.  DD has always pretty much stayed in her bed, even in the AM, she stays in bed and yells for us if she needs us.

A few nights ago, DD has started to get up out of bed.  She'll come out into the hallway, she'll say she's thirsty, she'll say she needs to go potty (and then doesn't go), she'll say she wants another animal, wants a back rub, wants to be tucked back in.  It's getting so bad that over the last couple of nights, she's up until 9:30 or 10:00 - and last night was horrible.  She kept saying she'd have to potty, so we'd put her on the potty, she'd sit there and start playing and looking around, and wouldn't go, so then we'd tell her if she didn't go she'd have to go back to bed.  Well that created an all out meltdown.  It's like she's finding every excuse in the book to either get up out of bed, or lay there and yell for us that she needs something.

I'm not sure what to do - we are trying to be stern.  When she yells for us, I don't jump up right away and walk in there, and when I do go in there, I don't walk up to her and comfort her much, I'll stand in the doorway to see what she needs.  I just don't know what to do!  Help!

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Re: DD driving us nuts at bedtime - help!

  • KatFCoKatFCo member

    Can she recognize numbers yet? We got DD a clock and told her she needed to be asleep by a certain time. If she wasn't, she lost privileges the next day or had to stay in bed later. Same thing for getting out of bed. It took a while, but she learned she needed to stay in bed or else.

    Part of it is the age. This too shall pass.

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  • LilyB2521LilyB2521 member
    imageKatFCo:

    Can she recognize numbers yet? We got DD a clock and told her she needed to be asleep by a certain time. If she wasn't, she lost privileges the next day or had to stay in bed later. Same thing for getting out of bed. It took a while, but she learned she needed to stay in bed or else.

    Part of it is the age. This too shall pass.

    Some, I've heard of some clocks that have certain pictures or colors for kids, maybe I should try that?  It's a good idea. 

    I am open to any suggestions right now.  By the end of last night, DD was hysterical and crying, and after she went to bed (finally) I was crying too.

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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    WE go by the 3 calls rule.  The girls can call us back into their rooms 3 times and then we stop coming.  With the I want a drink thing - put a straw cup of water in her room, next to her bed.  With the potty thing - we make sure the girls sit on the potty right before bed and then if they need to go after we tuck them in - we take them, we don't turn on the light (we have a nightlight in the bathroom), we don't talk to them, if we see them start to play, we send them back to bed.  Basically, we make it very, very boring.  As far as the tucks and all of that other stuff - 3 calls and then we stop going in.  Give her 3 items to keep when you tuck her in, hand them to her and tell her that each time she calls you, she has to give you one item.  When they are all gone - she can no longer call.  My kids have repeatedly been told that they can only go us to go potty or if they are sick (and we give examples of the sick and emergency stuff they can call for).  It takes a little time and you have to stick to it every single time - be very consistant.  NOw at almost 4 and 5 1/2, if my girls have to go potty at night, they go themselves and only call if they need help.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    imageLilyB2521:
    imageKatFCo:

    Can she recognize numbers yet? We got DD a clock and told her she needed to be asleep by a certain time. If she wasn't, she lost privileges the next day or had to stay in bed later. Same thing for getting out of bed. It took a while, but she learned she needed to stay in bed or else.

    Part of it is the age. This too shall pass.

    Some, I've heard of some clocks that have certain pictures or colors for kids, maybe I should try that?  It's a good idea. 

    I am open to any suggestions right now.  By the end of last night, DD was hysterical and crying, and after she went to bed (finally) I was crying too.

    We have the Teach Me Time Clock (look it up on Amazon) for both girls but feel like it has always worked way better for wake up time than bedtime but it is a great clock to have.

    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • kdeameskdeames
    We're having the same problem now, defintely keeping these ideas in mind.
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  • Wally3Wally3 member
    DS is allowed to come out 1 time to make requests - bathroom, water, ect.  After that I "Super Nanny" him.  He gets put back into bed - I will not talk - I will not answer his questions - I stay calm and put him in bed.  If he lies nicely I will tuck him in if he flops around then no tuck in.  It is working well, some nights he will pop up 10 times and see what happens but he has been getting better over the last week.  I just need to stay consistant.  I tell him after he comes out once that I will not be talking to him anymore just putting him to bed.

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  • BrewtowngrlBrewtowngrl member
    We take a toy to the garage when he calls for us after the first time.  If he calls 3 times we throw it out(it has never gotten that far, thank goodness).  He has to earn the toy back by going to bed good the next night.  
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  • Mrs MannersMrs Manners member

    I'd put a potty in her room, a cup of water on her night stand and a childproof knob on the inside of her door. But I'm mean and hard core about sleep like that :)

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  • Crenner1221Crenner1221

    ^^ Seriously, are you kids in prison? What if something serious happened and you weren't awake and the child had to get out of their room?

     Other people have some great advice. I give my son 3 times too and it works great. He's been going to bed without a problem now. And if he would need me in the middle of the night, he calls for me from his room. He knows its bed time when the sun goes down, and he can get up when the sun comes up. You just have to be really consistent with it.

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  • Mrs MannersMrs Manners member
    imageCrenner1221:

    ^^ Seriously, are you kids in prison? What if something serious happened and you weren't awake and the child had to get out of their room?


    We use a video monitor so we can see and hear him. Didn't you put your kid in a crib? What if something serious had happened and they'd needed to get out? I don't see them as being any different. My kid doesn't get out of the bed, but if he did I would have no problem confining him for his safety and for healthy sleep habits (just like I did when he was a baby and slept in a crib).  

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