I Hate When People Ask...(rant/vent)

mrsj0423 · February 2012

"Do you want a boy or a girl?". As if one sex or the other is "unwanted". Obviously they don't mean to imply that, but it still bothers me. We always just respond "we just want a healthy baby". I know its perfectly okay to secretly wish for one or the other, but I wouldn't want to tell it to the world and then have them think I am disappointed if we had the opposite. Its bad enough that MH's family is "expecting" us to have a boy and constantly vocalize that they really want it to be a boy. I feel like saying "that's nice, maybe if it's a girl you won't come around as often and our baby wont have to listen to you slurp spaghetti and tell the worlds most boring stories over and over again".... End rant, thanks for hearing that one out. lol

TeacherGirl17 · February 2012

I agree with you. The question seems so invasive and I feel uncomfortable answering. DH and I have a running joke that he calls the baby a he and I call the baby a she, but neither of us will be upset if its the opposite sex.

JulySpark05 · February 2012

I agree! It's even worse after you have a child because then, they automatically assume that you want your second child to be a different sex.

I get really annoyed people ask if we will try for number 3 and when I tell them we have no preference for baby#2 (since we honestly don't) and no matter what this baby is, we probably will be done at 2, they respond "oh well if its another girl then you'll probably try for a boy after". Really?! Common people! All I want is a healthy child and for DD to have a sibling, weather it be a boy or a girl = )

lynsimarie · February 2012

I tell people I'm hoping for a pony. That usually shuts them up.

526SadieSadie · February 2012

lynsimarie:
I tell people I'm hoping for a pony. That usually shuts them up.

giggle snort - love that response.

My cousin has the only boy on my side of the family under 22 years old (he's 3). When we finally started telling people we were pregnant she constantly made comments that this HAD to be a boy so her son would have someone to play with (sidebar - she lives over an hour away and we see her in person maybe twice a year) She texted me at least once a week asking how I was feeling and stuff like that until we found out we were having a girl. Then she stopped altogether. I was hurt and almost wanted to say "Sorry we couldn't procreate the gender you ordered, maybe next time. Hope you're still happy for me."

It's annoying but let it roll off your back. People lose brain cells when they talk to pregnant women.

Sovello · February 2012

The most annoying thing is when you say you don't mind and get the reply "Oh of COURSE you have a preference!"

ljanette85 · February 2012

so annoying! I could care less what comes out, I will love my baby regardless! People act like its so odd that we want to be suprised because "how on earth will we decorate" lol what really irks me is a few people (who mean well) but insist that a boy would be fun because they can play sports with him??? apparently my daughter would be to delicate for that? I hate gender stereo-typing. I loved to dance and my fiance loves cars....so boy or girl the child will probably have lots of toy cars and a pair of tap shoes

overtonhayes · February 2012

Sovello:
The most annoying thing is when you say you don't mind and get the reply "Oh of COURSE you have a preference!"

Yes! "Oh, I mean, of course you wouldn't mind either way. But what do you really want?"
"We don't mind. Either is fine. We just want a healthy baby."
"Yes yes yes, but do you want a healthy baby boy or healthy baby girl?"
"I want a baby that's strong and healthy enough to slap you around the face...."

SHeins · February 2012

This is my third pregnancy and because we have two boys already, people assume that the only reason we got pregnant the third time is to 'try for a girl'

That really irritates me. Like somehow I'm unfulfilled if I dont have a daughter. Come on, people! How absolutely asinine. We want three kids. I dont care if we have three boys. I dont care if its two boys and a girl. We want three.

People say the stupidest things to pregnant women.

ChelseaLynn8 · February 2012

LMB1231 · February 2012

mrsj0423:
"Do you want a boy or a girl?". As if one sex or the other is "unwanted". Obviously they don't mean to imply that, but it still bothers me. We always just respond "we just want a healthy baby". I know its perfectly okay to secretly wish for one or the other, but I wouldn't want to tell it to the world and then have them think I am disappointed if we had the opposite. Its bad enough that MH's family is "expecting" us to have a boy and constantly vocalize that they really want it to be a boy. I feel like saying "that's nice, maybe if it's a girl you won't come around as often and our baby wont have to listen to you slurp spaghetti and tell the worlds most boring stories over and over again".... End rant, thanks for hearing that one out. lol

Ha! I like your imagined response to your husband's family! My DH's family is the opposite, "We just want to hear its a girl" and wouldn't you know that I started secretly pulling for a boy once I heard that. What I would like (just being the person CARRYING and GROWING this child) is for people to stop making the pregnancy about them and just be happy for the new parents. And now my rant is over

Daisy22 · February 2012

SHeins:

This is my third pregnancy and because we have two boys already, people assume that the only reason we got pregnant the third time is to 'try for a girl'

That really irritates me. Like somehow I'm unfulfilled if I dont have a daughter. Come on, people! How absolutely asinine. We want three kids. I dont care if we have three boys. I dont care if its two boys and a girl. We want three.

People say the stupidest things to pregnant women.

ME TOO!!!! And we are having a 3rd boy which makes the comments even worse now. Drives me crazy

SunAndRain · February 2012

Hmm. I think they are just trying to make conversation and show interest for the most part. Certainly we all want a healthy baby, and that is what I respond "I'm just hoping for a healthy baby." I haven't gotten any "of COURSE you are hoping for one or the other." That is just bizarre.

FIL told be I was getting fat when I was about 12 weeks. I can say that that bothered me.

Msbean22 · February 2012

lol, thanks for the giggle!

I get that a lot, it being my first. EVERYONE is convinced I'm having a girl, so I make a point when people ask to tell them that I don't care, but I better be having a girl for the sake of my child, because I don't want my poor boy child to be unwanted. This is to impart some sort of guilt

busomud · February 2012

Hahaha, thanks for the laugh! But I HATE this too!! While out to eat some woman asked me, "Do you want a boy or girl?" I said, " I really don't care!" Then she turned to DH and asked him! What a moron! Everyone, except my boss, has just told me this one's a boy. Not asking me what mothers intuition is, just offering strangers intuition. "Oh, this one's a boy." "Yep, gonna be a boy." "Awww! It'll be a boy this time." "Okay...so I'm really feeling it's a boy..." Okay, and who are you, Dion Warwick? Whew, that was a little vent of my own, lol!

busomud · February 2012

Hahaha, thanks for the laugh! But I HATE this too!! While out to eat some woman asked me, "Do you want a boy or girl?" I said, " I really don't care!" Then she turned to DH and asked him! What a moron! Everyone, except my boss, has just told me this one's a boy. Not asking me what mothers intuition is, just offering strangers intuition. "Oh, this one's a boy." "Yep, gonna be a boy." "Awww! It'll be a boy this time." "Okay...so I'm really feeling it's a boy..." Okay, and who are you, Dionne Warwick? Whew, that was a little vent of my own, lol!

amberlynnr7 · February 2012

Yeah, I always was bothered by this too. But people are how they are... & they aren't gonna change anytime soon

theseaword · February 2012

Get over yourselves a bit. People are just making polite conversation. I'm pregnant and I struggle with what to ask pregnant ladies. I'm sure they're not dyyying to know your preference.

Vanessa37 · February 2012

Yeah, I hear you. My students ask me this just about every day. When I tell them I don't care, we're just excited to have a baby, it's almost like they don't believe me. LOL!

vanitylalala · February 2012

I just say it's already whatever its going to be, me wishing and hoping for one in particular isn't gong to change anything.

byrne15 · February 2012

Yeah...that question annoys me too.

We tried for over 2 years for this baby and I am totally honest when I say I have no preferrence. People say...c'mon, you have to kind of want one over the other!

SailorPunk · February 2012

completely agree.

HeyJune · February 2012

TwilightMV:
Get over yourselves a bit. People are just making polite conversation. I'm pregnant and I struggle with what to ask pregnant ladies. I'm sure they're not dyyying to know your preference.

I think the OP's rant is warranted. I get this question A LOT. If people want to make conversation, they could ask "Do you want to find out if its a boy or girl?" or "Do have a feeling about whether its a boy or girl?". I find asking what I want it to be extremely annoying. It assumes that all people have a preference and that they should be disappointed if they don't "get what they want."

I usually just say that God knows what's best for me, so I'll be happy with whatever he decides.

OctoberBabyH · February 2012

lynsimarie:
I tell people I'm hoping for a pony. That usually shuts them up.

Yes! haha!

Or you can answer birl or goy. Or tell them, "Whatever it is, I want to name it ____ after YOU!" :P

KrissyMiss · February 2012

mrsj0423:
"Do you want a boy or a girl?". As if one sex or the other is "unwanted". Obviously they don't mean to imply that, but it still bothers me. We always just respond "we just want a healthy baby". I know its perfectly okay to secretly wish for one or the other, but I wouldn't want to tell it to the world and then have them think I am disappointed if we had the opposite. Its bad enough that MH's family is "expecting" us to have a boy and constantly vocalize that they really want it to be a boy. I feel like saying "that's nice, maybe if it's a girl you won't come around as often and our baby wont have to listen to you slurp spaghetti and tell the worlds most boring stories over and over again".... End rant, thanks for hearing that one out. lol

LMAO! This made me smile. My family (especially my mom) was the opposite, she wanted us to have a girl and we're having a boy. I kind of love it that she didn't get what she wanted.

KrissyMiss · February 2012

Also, fun response, when people were asking my husband what he wanted he told them that he didn't care, he just hoped it came out with a tail.

FallinLove2011 · February 2012

lynsimarie:
I tell people I'm hoping for a pony. That usually shuts them up.

Perfect! Im an so steeling that...

aspensonj · February 2012

mrsj0423:
Its bad enough that MH's family is "expecting" us to have a boy and constantly vocalize that they really want it to be a boy. I feel like saying "that's nice, maybe if it's a girl you won't come around as often and our baby wont have to listen to you slurp spaghetti and tell the worlds most boring stories over and over again"....

OMG...I thought I was the only one!!! My MIL is INSISTING that this baby will be a girl (she had 4 boys) and that she will be moving in with us if it is. HA!

sadie+w · February 2012

eh, doesn't bother me at all. I think people are just trying to make conversation and take an interest in your pregnancy.

MrsMandaK · March 2012

SHeins:

This is my third pregnancy and because we have two boys already, people assume that the only reason we got pregnant the third time is to 'try for a girl'

That really irritates me. Like somehow I'm unfulfilled if I dont have a daughter. Come on, people! How absolutely asinine. We want three kids. I dont care if we have three boys. I dont care if its two boys and a girl. We want three.

People say the stupidest things to pregnant women.

This exactly! Except I have two girls, so they naturally assume I'm psyched for a boy. Sure, I'd love a son, but another daughter sounds perfectly fine to me too....really! I know girls. I have lots of girl clothes. My girls want a sister. It is definitely one of those things that people just ask to be interested, but really wears on the nerves after a while.

I also hate, "Ohhh...third baby, huh? You know how that happens right?" Confused My reply to that one is, "Yep! We certainly do and we like it!" LOL

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