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Anxiety Issues in son...looking for guidance please

JandBandBJandBandB
in Special Needs

My son, who has been through so much testing, over the past two years...and has been told it's ASP, Autism, etc.... was officially DX with severe anxiety.  They cannot rule out ADHD since the symptoms presented are similiar with the anxiety.  We need to get our 5 y.o son therapy for the anxiety first before we continue figuring out if he has ADHD as well.

 I have some books on hold at the library, as well as an appt with a child psychologist at the beginning of June (we are wait-listed all over our city with child psychs!)...but we need help NOW as we have our third child due in about 6 weeks.

What are discipline techniques for a child with anxiety? DS will NOT leave my side, so time outs do not work...and only stress him out further.  Is it better to have a visual chart that shows POSITIVE actions=Positive rewards and/or show negative actions=negative rewards? 

What are ways to calm an anxious child?  Any website recommendations? Any info that you can pass my way would be super appreciated!

Thanks so much!

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Re: Anxiety Issues in son...looking for guidance please

  • AgrippaRidesAgainAgrippaRidesAgain member

    DS doesn't have anxiety as badly as your DS, but he is an anxious child.  Positive reinforcement is absolutely better than negative.  A chart with negative things on it would increase his anxiety.  He does best with reward charts that show quick progress towards small rewards with a large reward as a long term goal.  

    DS has specific triggers that make him anxious.  He's younger than your DS, so he still has a blankie that he uses to help himself calm down.  We speak calmly, hand him his blankie, and sit him somewhere quiet.  Sometimes he wants us to stay, and sometimes he wants to be by himself.  If we're out in public, it depends on how much he has worked himself up.  We either just remove him from the situation and then return (or don't, sometimes) or slow down and let him go at his own pace. 

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  • Divashrink1982Divashrink1982 member

    Well - I was just lurking - I am due in May with a little boy who has clubbed feet - but I'm also a psychologist, so I thought I would try to weigh in on this one.

    A couple of tips:

    Keep calm when you are disciplining him. 

    Make things as predictable as possible. Rules and consequences should be the same as much as possible each time. This is great for any kid, but an anxious kid is going to be more anxious if they don't know what to expect.

    If you learned any slow breathing techniques in childbirthing class, they might be helpful to him. With a child who is that small, I sometimes do a relaxation technique with them that I call "the robot and the wet noodle." Basically, the child tenses up every muscle in their body, being rigid like a robot, and counts to 10 or 15. Then, he/she relaxes every muscle, flopping like a wet noodle. It is a mini-version of progressive muscle relaxation, because most times, small children don't have a long enough attention span to fully do progressive muscle relaxation.

    Talk about what his body feels like when he is anxious. Draw a picture of a person and see if he can circle places on his body where he feels anxiety (sweaty palms, knots in stomach, etc.). If you can give him a name for how he is feeling and teach him some things to do when he is feeling that way (breathing, relaxation, etc), it will help him to cope a little better. 

     

    Hope that helps!

     

     

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  • JandBandBJandBandB
    image-auntie-:

    Are you looking for behavior mods to grow him around the anxiety or discipline for behaviors?

     

    Auntie---I guess I am looking for both!  I want to be able to discpline my son, but not stress him out.  I am still not sure what to do since we have not been given any formal training/help for him, and b/c we see the psych in June and also b/c any books that I am waiting on at the library are not in yet!  I just am ready to get down to business. 

    Our biggest hurdles are these:

    1:  Not listening to directions the first time

    2: Antagonizing his 3 y/o brother "just because"

    3:  Being able to choose an activity on his own and attend to task

    4:  Seperate from ME while at our home.  He is fine transitioning from school or with fanmily or playdates....but while at home, he will NOT leave my side

    5: Truly understanding that there are consequences for his actions.

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