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June 2011 Moms
What Do You Do When You're Angry?
I am super pissed at DH. I could explain why, but it is long and stupid and pointless. I've been mad since Monday morning and I CANNOT seem to let it go. We're doing that thing where we're polite to each other, but not nice.
I've listened to music, I've cried, I've explain to him how I feel. I know better than to drink or eat out of anger. I keep trying to get over it and get on with it, but I am still so angry.
What do you do in situations like this?
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Re: What Do You Do When You're Angry?
When I am mad I clean. I really should get mad more often....
We normally try to talk it out then... but the longest I have been upset has been maybe two days, but we try not to go to bed angry. If we can at least make sure we both understand each others points and there are apologies, I try not to dwell. When I am really upset even after that, I am just super quiet. I am not vindictive nor mean to him, especially with the baby... but silence is deadly enough in my household, so after I cool off, I will slowly start talking again. About small stuff, like a tv show we are watching or something petty. Then, I am just done. I always try to remember that the next day is never promised, so I don't ever want to live with that guilt... I hope that things get better for you.
Me too!
I am still angry with something DH did quite awhile ago. It is something that will take a long time to move past but when the anger resurfaces I remind myself that he is a good husband, good father and all the other great things he does. I have to remember that one mistake does not make him a horrible person and I do still love him. (DH hurt us financially and when money gets tight the anger comes back full force) Ultimately I remind myself that I have decided to forgive him and therefore need to move past the anger. I explained to him that this anger and hurt won't just go away but we will need to work through it. When he can tell I'm upset again he tries his best to get me to laugh and think about the good things and he knows that sometimes I just need some time.
Hope this helps you some and if you need to vent to us to get it out feel free. We are here for you!!! (or sned me a PM if you don't want it public) Sometimes holding it in makes it worse on yourself. And sometimes getting an out side perspective helps make light out of the situation. I know when I talked to some people it was nice to hear that we weren't alone in our situation and having a shoulder to cry on was nice sometimes too.
Please get really mad and come to may house.
i talk A LOT. until it's resolved.
Thanks, everyone, for your input. Maybe we do need to talk again. We just keep going in circles and finally just decided to stop talking about it, but clearly that isn't doing anything, since I'm still angry.
Supermom, I admire your ability to have sex while angry. That's something I definitely cannot do! I packed up the guest room in our house because we're moving in April...otherwise, I'd be sleeping in there.
I also clean when I'm angry. And I should be exercising!
LOL. Sometimes I think DH pisses me off just so I will clean.
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I was going to suggest something like this. When talking isn't getting me anywhere, I sit down and write through my feelings. Sometimes it just helps give me a better handle on why I feel the way I do. Sometimes it helps me work through it. Sometimes I end up giving the letter to MH and he better understands where I'm coming from.
I'm big on writing, though, so that's kind of my default answer. Couldn't hurt to try, though, right? I'd say just sit down and write whatever comes to mind. Don't edit yourself- just let it come out on the paper.
We ignore each other and I do the silent treatment. DH will usually start talking about petty stuff to get me to talk. Really not healthy at all for either of us.
I like the suggestion about emailing. When we get mad we yell and we both hate it. We have emailed each other a couple of times when fighting and it is probably good for us. I don't know why we don't do it more often when we are mad. We can say what we want without interruptions. We actually understand each other more. I just thought it probably wasn't good to do. Glad to hear someone suggested it.