July 2012 Moms
bullybutt
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MIL nonexistant
bullybutt
member
I read where most people complain about MILs intruding or causing havoc on pregnancies with their 2 cents of how the child should be raised, named, etc. My "MIL" is nonexistant. She has never once called/emailed/texted me to see how I or her grandbaby are doing. I am almost 20 weeks along and...nothing. This is the first baby for her oldest son, as well as for me. I brought this up to the baby daddy and he said that maybe "I" should be the one to call her and let her know what's going on with the baby. Am I crazy for thinking this is ridiculous? Does anyone else have a MIL who seems to care less about you or your baby?
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Re: MIL nonexistant
Mine does too, but I'm actually ok with that. When we told her I was pg she said it would be ok to go out drinking because when she was pg with DH she did. In fact, she was certain he was drunk with her a couple times. It led me to find this:
She hasn't called or anything since we let her know, DH called when we found out the gender and it seemed she could care less. My opinion, if she doesn't want to be involved, my parents will give LO enough love for both sets of Grandparents. Sorry about yours making you feel bad though, it's not your responsibility to keep everyone involved. You have enough on your plate with growing a baby.
Good luck.
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.
I dont think you are crazy for feeling like she should call you..but maybe you should call her and fill her in once or twice and see if that spikes some interest on her part?
Im sure she does care about you and her unborn grandchild! Are you and your MIL close to begin with? GL
My family is the definition of Nonexistant!!!! My oldest sister has yet to talk to me. The last time I talked to her was at my wedding when she said she had to leave(immediatley after the ceremony--In the line congratualating us) and that was over 7 months ago. I told her I was pregnant and she didn't really say anything. My mother also doesn't ever call me either. I go months without talking to her.
Luckily, My MIL is the best. Always calls and texts to check up on me.
Good Luck with it!
My MIL doesn't like me at all. Did not communicate at all about the wedding; pretended to be okay with it. Very cold and polite. Same thing with the baby. We called today to tell her the sex of the baby and she was polite but not excited. It's her first grandchild.
MIL is kind of immature and selfish and I think she likes it when things focus on her or her daughter. I think she feels I've taken her son from her. I wish my mom were alive so that my kid could have a nice grandparent (my dad isn't in the picture).
Agree that even a cold MIL is better than one who is in your face judging you all the time.
My MIL doesn't normally call me but she and DH do talk at least once a week. I will call her every so often to update her on the baby, anything going on, etc. I also email baby updates to her, DH's aunt (her sis), my SIL, etc. after any significant appts. It's an easy way to keep in touch and they've told me that they love getting the emails.
Dh's mom is just super laid back so it doesn't phase me at all. She will do anything you ask of her, happily, but she keeps herself really busy so she doesn't "need" us as the focus of her life.
I am sorry! It would be strange to me too to have to call someone in hopes I could maybe get them to be interested. I had what I considered a big appointment where we find out the gender and mine never even asked about it. I had told her about it too.
Same here.I have not spoken to my MIL in about 2 years. She does not accept my daughter or me. We did not call to tell DH's parents when we found out the bfp. I would love to be able to have a relationship with her but it is what it is. My eh said until she can accept us all she will not be able to choose which grandchildren to have a relationship with.
I dunno. I think a lot of it just depends on the kind of relationship you and your DH have with your MIL.
My quasi-MIL hasn't really asked about anything, but we don't have that kind of relationship. When we see them (about once every 2 months) they ask how I am and how things are going, but not in between that I know of. I suppose it's possible that they get info from my partner, but he doesn't really have a talk-y relationship with them either. As far as big updates/new/decisions/etc, I figure it's our responsibility to share with the people we think it's important to share with, not their responsiblity to know they should ask. I dunno.
It'd actually kind of freak me out if she started calling or asking about me a lot...
Is it possible she is just trying not to be intrusive? I know my mom doesn't really ask me a whole lot about my pregnancy. She feels that if there is something important I will tell her. She has told myself and my sisters this. She knows it is our life and we are free to share with her what we want to.
Having said that, there are times I wish she would ask a bit more because sometimes it feels like she doesn't care (even though I know she does).