Pregnant after a Loss

I know it's completely irrational....but

are any of you & your DH's/SO's petrified to have sex? afraid that it will trigger a m/c? We miscarried last time right at 6wks. Will some of that fear go away you think after we pass that milestone in the pregnancy?

We both know it's completely irrational, but we both feel that way. My DH has been worrying over me like a mother hen (which is sweet but not the reason I want him to), scared to death that it's going to "happen" again....

Are we the only couple going through this?

Re: I know it's completely irrational....but

  • Nope our first time having sex since our BFP was around 19 weeks.... I was also super sick and not wanting to even think about it.
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  • I am scared, too! but I'm also on doctor-ordered pelvic rest until second tri.  So, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. LOL

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    After 7 years of no ovulation...
    BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
    BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12


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  • Nope. My DH worries over me like crazy. He won't even act sexual towards me because he doesn't want to start anything. I plan to talk to the doctor about it at our 8w appointment while DH is there. We both need to know it's okay to be intimate with each other and the baby is going to be okay.
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  • I'm also afraid to have sex Sad  I know it's irrational, but I can't help feeling this way!

  • Thank you ladies, that does indeed make me feel better :)

  • I am too! 
    And then when I masturbated to try and get into the mood, after my orgasm I felt the most intense cramps and pains. So now I'm even more frightened to try. Oh dear. 

    I guess we are all anxious that ANYTHING could cause another miscarriage.  

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  • Ugh. We tried it but afterwards I cramped for an hour. I don't think we'll try again until 38 weeks.
    DS born 9/13/2012
    BFP#5: 8/21/2016
  • Good to know I am not alone on these feelings-- I don't think I have felt like having sex since I got my bfp.
    BFP 10/28/2011 EDD 7/7/2012 HB 158 @ 7w D&C 12/7/2011 @ 10wks BFP 2/10/2012 EDD 10/18/2012 Beta #1 129 Beta #2 444 Just keep growing baby!!! 9w heartbeat 171!
  • Definitely not the only couple going through that.  I have only had sex about 5 times in 30 weeks because I am so scared.

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  • I was worried at first and still worry a little but I had sex all the way through with DD #1 and was completely fine.  This time I worry but I think everything will be fine.
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  • Thanks  shmeell25! That is a help!

     

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  • We haven't since I o'd. I don't plan on it for a while either. DH totally respects it and has never pushed me. I am scared mostly and also not really interested. I do miss the closeness though....
    6 & 2 year old, 2 losses
  • I was afraid too. We just had sex the other day for the first time since we conceived. I was just afraid period. With my daughter we didn't have sex until after 18 weeks because I was so sick and then put on pelvic rest because of a low lying placenta. After 18 weeks it was fine. The other day it hurt the first time going in (TMI), but after that it felt fine. A few days later we tried again and it hurt going in and in motion so we stopped. I am planning on talking to my doctor tomorrow to make sure there isn't something wrong.
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