Creepoid neighbor dude

scottsbride379 · February 2012

Yesterday I took DS (who is home for the week recovering from surgery he had last Thursday) outside for some fresh air. We were just toddling around on the driveway, when the weird old guy who lives 2 or 3 houses down stopped his car at the end of our driveway and said, "Come here for a minute." I didn't recognize him at first, so I thought he was lost and needed directions. I picked up DS and went down to the end of the driveway. The guy held his hand out and said, "I wanna give you something to keep." I immediately said, "No." He tried to talk to DS and said, "You don't want a gold dollar coin?" I already had my back to him and said, "No, he doesn't, THANK YOU!" and I took DS inside, much to his dismay.

This is the 3rd or 4th time this guy has done this to us. In the summer when we were walking with DS in the stroller, he stopped his car by us and tried to give us some pencils. Then, around New Year's we were outside again and he tried to give us some candy. When we first moved here we saw him take his car out and drive around the neighborhood multiple times a day and we thought maybe he doesn't drive a lot and is trying to keep his car in shape or is his own individual neighborhood watch. Now it seems he drives around looking for families to accost.

It's weird and unsettling. DH and I discussed calling the cops, but we wonder if we should talk to the neighbors first and see if they've had any issues with him (there are plenty of kids in this neighborhood). He's not a registered sex offender (we checked that before we moved to the area), but he's still creepy. I'm wondering if he's just an old guy who's "not all there". Still not safe, but not a pedophile. Either way, DS will never be allowed to go near him or talk to him.

WWYD? Thanks!

citychicks · February 2012

I think he sounds like a lonely old person.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

I've been thinking about you guys! How was the surgery, and how is DS doing?

Ah, weird neighbors. Yeah, I'd talk to your neighbors before doing anything. He might have some backstory or something that would be helpful to know before making any decision. Also, if he's really just a creepy mccreeperson, then everyone can be on the lookout. GL!

scottsbride379 · February 2012

DS is doing well, thanks for asking! His surgery went well and he had a couple of uncomfy days in the hospital, but he's home now, eating fine, doing most of his normal activities. He's not sleeping as well as he could because of the swelling that has yet to go away on his head, but other than that he's great.

buckeyebrat · February 2012

citychicks:
I think he sounds like a lonely old person.

I agree. My grandpa was very lonely, and used to just drive around to find people to talk to. He even gave away money and would go to the local market to buy fruit to give to people. He was an extremely nice man, and very gentle with children. Not all strangers are pedophiles or dangerous.

thatgirl2478 · February 2012

I will probably get flamed for this (it's happening a lot today) but I would probably continue what you've been doing - declining his requests to give you things.

More than likely he's just a lonely old guy trying to reach out to the neighbors in the only way he knows how to.

I agree that it is creepy the way you've described it and I would probably be on alert too. Obviously your son is too young to be playing out side by himself, so I don't think abduction is a problem... I would start teaching your son about stranger danger (which is important even if you don't live near sex offenders).

I would ask the neighbors what they know about him. Maybe you and your husband can go introduce yourselves one evening (without your child present) to get a feel for if he's just weird or truly a danger.

pazrana · February 2012

When we were kids there was an old guy who would drive by and give all of us kids in the neighborhood gum. He was just a lonely old guy and liked to do something nice I guess. Thinking back on it now, what the heck were our parents thinking letting us take candy from this guy?? Ah the nineties.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

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scottsbride379 · February 2012

buckeyebrat:

citychicks:
I think he sounds like a lonely old person.

I agree. My grandpa was very lonely, and used to just drive around to find people to talk to. He even gave away money and would go to the local market to buy fruit to give to people. He was an extremely nice man, and very gentle with children. Not all strangers are pedophiles or dangerous.

I didn't mean to insinuate that all strangers are dangerous or pedophiles. And I didn't mean to insult your grandpa. He just strikes me as someone I wouldn't want DS interacting with.

eSynergy · February 2012

My first thought was that maybe he's trying to be nice (maybe he's lonely and wants to get to know you guys?). We have older people in our neighborhood who just like someone to talk to, and they often give DS little gifts.

You said that he drive around looking for families...have you seen him bothering other people too or are you just assuming that?

I wouldn't call the cops. But, if you get a really bad/suspicious feeling about it, then do what you need to do.

EVA116 · February 2012

I say trust your intuition.

LittleBugMama · February 2012

scottsbride379:
buckeyebrat:

citychicks:
I think he sounds like a lonely old person.

I agree. My grandpa was very lonely, and used to just drive around to find people to talk to. He even gave away money and would go to the local market to buy fruit to give to people. He was an extremely nice man, and very gentle with children. Not all strangers are pedophiles or dangerous.

I didn't mean to insinuate that all strangers are dangerous or pedophiles. And I didn't mean to insult your grandpa. He just strikes me as someone I wouldn't want DS interacting with.

Trust your gut instinct.

LittleBugMama · February 2012

scottsbride379:
buckeyebrat:

citychicks:
I think he sounds like a lonely old person.

I agree. My grandpa was very lonely, and used to just drive around to find people to talk to. He even gave away money and would go to the local market to buy fruit to give to people. He was an extremely nice man, and very gentle with children. Not all strangers are pedophiles or dangerous.

I didn't mean to insinuate that all strangers are dangerous or pedophiles. And I didn't mean to insult your grandpa. He just strikes me as someone I wouldn't want DS interacting with.

Trust your gut instinct.

Libby1978 · February 2012

It sounds like a lonely old guy. But yeah, I'd keep my kid away from him too. I'd ask other neighbors about him. I'm sure you will find out that some of them have had the same sort of things happen.

ames71 · February 2012

I hardly think this qualifies as "accosting." Being cautious is one thing, but really? He sounds like a lonely old man, not a threat. Calling the cops because he wanted to give your kid a gold coin? FFS.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

eSynergy:

My first thought was that maybe he's trying to be nice (maybe he's lonely and wants to get to know you guys?). We have older people in our neighborhood who just like someone to talk to, and they often give DS little gifts.

You said that he drive around looking for families...have you seen him bothering other people too or are you just assuming that?

We're not calling the cops at this point. Maybe just question some of our neighbors. Because everyone's right, and I thought about this, too, which is why I didn't call: if he's just a lonley old guy, I don't want to persecute him by sending the cops to his door. But I will still refuse his offerings and teach DS (once he can understand) about strangers.

seahorse102410 · February 2012

Sorry, I hate having weird neighbors. You are doing the right thing.

buckeyebrat · February 2012

scottsbride379:
buckeyebrat:

citychicks:
I think he sounds like a lonely old person.

I agree. My grandpa was very lonely, and used to just drive around to find people to talk to. He even gave away money and would go to the local market to buy fruit to give to people. He was an extremely nice man, and very gentle with children. Not all strangers are pedophiles or dangerous.

I didn't mean to insinuate that all strangers are dangerous or pedophiles. And I didn't mean to insult your grandpa. He just strikes me as someone I wouldn't want DS interacting with.

You didn't at all! Haha! I didn't realize it'd come out that way. I was just saying I think you're right to be cautious, but keep in mind, even though the world sucks and there's alot of bad, it doesn't mean everyone is bad. I was just giving you an example.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

ames17:
I hardly think this qualifies as "accosting." Being cautious is one thing, but really? He sounds like a lonely old man, not a threat. Calling the cops because he wanted to give your kid a gold coin? FFS.

Yes, really. I can't play outside with my son without this guy trying to offer us stuff? Lonely guy or not, it makes me uncomfortable. And you may have noticed that we didn't call the cops. I come from NY, where a lot of bad things happen (not that it doesnt happen everywhere, sadly). I'm automatically leery of stuff like this. But we're giving him the benefit of the doubt.

EVA116 · February 2012

Who gives a crap if he is lonely....if you feel uncomfortable around him then stay away.

FrickandFrack · February 2012

EVA116:
I say trust your intuition.

This for sure.

celiabwatson · February 2012

We have an old man like that in our neighborhood. He's on our route when we walk the dog and if I see him enough ahead I usually make a detour if possible. He has tried twice to give my son hard candy. The first time the conversation went something like this:

Old man - "Would you like some candy little boy?" (instant flash backs to stranger danger video from childhood)

*my son just looked at him funny, but then held out his hand because he was offering something so why not*

Me - "He can't have hard candy, he'll choke."

Old man - "He doesn't have to chew it. It'll just dissolve on his tongue."

Me - "He doesn't know that and he'll try to swallow it. He has to be a lot older for hard candy, sorry."

Old man - "You can show him how."

Me - "Ok, I'll take the candy, but he still can't have any."

Then a few days later something similar happened when my husband was out walking with him. At least by the time my son is able to be out in the neighborhood alone he'll definitely be old enough for hard candy (not that I'd want him to take it, but I'm glad I don't have to worry about that).

bananarama11 · February 2012

I want to hope he's just a lonely old man, but I agree with the PPs who said to trust your instinct. Maybe talk to the neighbors to find out his story.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

ItsAllGravy7:

Oh FFS....really? Older people come from a different era when talking to neighbors wasn't unheard of. People didn't get home from work and run in their houses to sit in front of their TV's and drool over dancing with the stars. He's probably an older guy without much family and he's lonely. You don't have to talk to him or accept gifts you can just say no thanks but calling the COPS?

For the second time, yes, really. I'm not saying he should be a shut in or something. I'm saying that if he's lonely, there are other ways to meet people. Sit out on your front on nice evenings and wave to people going by with their kids, maybe even come down to the street and say hi. Or go for your own walk and introduce yourself to people you see. That's how we've met plenty of our other neighbors. You don't have to go driving around the neighborhood trying to give out things to little kids. That's where the creep factor comes in. So yes, really.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

And is everyone who's getting up in arms about calling the cops miss the fact that we DIDN'T call them?

ames71 · February 2012

scottsbride379:
And is everyone who's getting up in arms about calling the cops miss the fact that we DIDN'T call them?

This made it seem like you were still considering it: "DH and I discussed calling the cops, but we wonder if we should talk to the neighbors first..."

You're totally over-reacting, but it wouldn't be The Bump if someone wasn't.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

ames17:

scottsbride379:
And is everyone who's getting up in arms about calling the cops miss the fact that we DIDN'T call them?

This made it seem like you were still considering it: "DH and I discussed calling the cops, but we wonder if we should talk to the neighbors first..."

You're totally over-reacting, but it wouldn't be The Bump if someone wasn't.

Well, we considered it but we ultimately did not call. AND in later posts I said we decided it was best to try to find out his story before doing anything because I wouldn't want to persecute a lonely old man by sending the cops to his door. You are flipping out because I mentioned it as a suggestion. I may be overreacting, but I'm not the only one.

ames71 · February 2012

scottsbride379:
ames17:

scottsbride379:
And is everyone who's getting up in arms about calling the cops miss the fact that we DIDN'T call them?

This made it seem like you were still considering it: "DH and I discussed calling the cops, but we wonder if we should talk to the neighbors first..."

You're totally over-reacting, but it wouldn't be The Bump if someone wasn't.

Well, we considered it but we ultimately did not call. AND in later posts I said we decided it was best to try to find out his story before doing anything because I wouldn't want to persecute a lonely old man by sending the cops to his door. You are flipping out because I mentioned it as a suggestion. I may be overreacting, but I'm not the only one.

No flipping out here, Ace. I may have laughed a bit, but no flippy.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

ItsAllGravy7:
scottsbride379:
ItsAllGravy7:

Oh FFS....really? Older people come from a different era when talking to neighbors wasn't unheard of. People didn't get home from work and run in their houses to sit in front of their TV's and drool over dancing with the stars. He's probably an older guy without much family and he's lonely. You don't have to talk to him or accept gifts you can just say no thanks but calling the COPS?

For the second time, yes, really. I'm not saying he should be a shut in or something. I'm saying that if he's lonely, there are other ways to meet people. Sit out on your front on nice evenings and wave to people going by with their kids, maybe even come down to the street and say hi. Or go for your own walk and introduce yourself to people you see. That's how we've met plenty of our other neighbors. You don't have to go driving around the neighborhood trying to give out things to little kids. That's where the creep factor comes in. So yes, really.

You're right...walking and introducing yourself is WAY less creepy than driving and introducing yourself. WTF is the difference? He's old and probably can't walk around the damn block as easily as you can so driving is easier. People used to go for leisurely drives. I wouldn't feed my child candy from a stranger but a farking gold coin? How dare that old peice of shiiit give your child money...what a jack ass! .

How is that creepy?: You're out for a stroll, others are out doing the same thing. They're new neighbors but you've never met them. So you stop and say hi. Other people did that to us when we moved in. And FTR, I've seen him working in his yard and his garage. He is definitely not too feeble to walk rather than drive. And it's the handing out stuff that makes me uncomfortable. When I was little, we were taught that you should never take things from strangers, candy or otherwise. And he already tried candy on us, that didn't work.

We've established that half the posts here think I should go with my instincts and half of them think I'm overreacting or whatever. To each his own. This is just the way I feel.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

ItsAllGravy7:
scottsbride379:
ItsAllGravy7:
scottsbride379:
ItsAllGravy7:

Oh FFS....really? Older people come from a different era when talking to neighbors wasn't unheard of. People didn't get home from work and run in their houses to sit in front of their TV's and drool over dancing with the stars. He's probably an older guy without much family and he's lonely. You don't have to talk to him or accept gifts you can just say no thanks but calling the COPS?

For the second time, yes, really. I'm not saying he should be a shut in or something. I'm saying that if he's lonely, there are other ways to meet people. Sit out on your front on nice evenings and wave to people going by with their kids, maybe even come down to the street and say hi. Or go for your own walk and introduce yourself to people you see. That's how we've met plenty of our other neighbors. You don't have to go driving around the neighborhood trying to give out things to little kids. That's where the creep factor comes in. So yes, really.

You're right...walking and introducing yourself is WAY less creepy than driving and introducing yourself. WTF is the difference? He's old and probably can't walk around the damn block as easily as you can so driving is easier. People used to go for leisurely drives. I wouldn't feed my child candy from a stranger but a farking gold coin? How dare that old peice of shiiit give your child money...what a jack ass! .

How is that creepy?: You're out for a stroll, others are out doing the same thing. They're new neighbors but you've never met them. So you stop and say hi. Other people did that to us when we moved in. And FTR, I've seen him working in his yard and his garage. He is definitely not too feeble to walk rather than drive. And it's the handing out stuff that makes me uncomfortable. When I was little, we were taught that you should never take things from strangers, candy or otherwise. And he already tried candy on us, that didn't work.

We've established that half the posts here think I should go with my instincts and half of them think I'm overreacting or whatever. To each his own. This is just the way I feel.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with following instinct I'm just saying maybe considering a call to the cops is overreacting. Just remember...even though the news tells you the children are yanked up by strangers with money every day doesn't make it true. The vast majority of child abductions are family members. Not every "creepy" old man is out to rape your son.

First of all, I never said he was out to rape my son, or anyone for that matter. You're disgusting.

Secondly, I'm aware that the majority of abdcutions are not committed by strangers with money. There was obviously no risk of that. I don't accept anything from the guy because it will teach DS that it's OK and it will encourage this man to keep offering things to DS. Am I not allowed to be creeped out by something I consider inappropriate? You don't have to answer that because my opinion is my opinion and your comments won't change that. I don't see how it's wrong that I considered calling the cops because I didn't call them. The little old man's feelings weren't hurt by having the cops hammer on his door, so everything's fine.

scottsbride379 · February 2012

ItsAllGravy7:
scottsbride379:
ItsAllGravy7:
scottsbride379:
ItsAllGravy7:
scottsbride379:
ItsAllGravy7:

Oh FFS....really? Older people come from a different era when talking to neighbors wasn't unheard of. People didn't get home from work and run in their houses to sit in front of their TV's and drool over dancing with the stars. He's probably an older guy without much family and he's lonely. You don't have to talk to him or accept gifts you can just say no thanks but calling the COPS?

For the second time, yes, really. I'm not saying he should be a shut in or something. I'm saying that if he's lonely, there are other ways to meet people. Sit out on your front on nice evenings and wave to people going by with their kids, maybe even come down to the street and say hi. Or go for your own walk and introduce yourself to people you see. That's how we've met plenty of our other neighbors. You don't have to go driving around the neighborhood trying to give out things to little kids. That's where the creep factor comes in. So yes, really.

You're right...walking and introducing yourself is WAY less creepy than driving and introducing yourself. WTF is the difference? He's old and probably can't walk around the damn block as easily as you can so driving is easier. People used to go for leisurely drives. I wouldn't feed my child candy from a stranger but a farking gold coin? How dare that old peice of shiiit give your child money...what a jack ass! .

How is that creepy?: You're out for a stroll, others are out doing the same thing. They're new neighbors but you've never met them. So you stop and say hi. Other people did that to us when we moved in. And FTR, I've seen him working in his yard and his garage. He is definitely not too feeble to walk rather than drive. And it's the handing out stuff that makes me uncomfortable. When I was little, we were taught that you should never take things from strangers, candy or otherwise. And he already tried candy on us, that didn't work.

We've established that half the posts here think I should go with my instincts and half of them think I'm overreacting or whatever. To each his own. This is just the way I feel.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with following instinct I'm just saying maybe considering a call to the cops is overreacting. Just remember...even though the news tells you the children are yanked up by strangers with money every day doesn't make it true. The vast majority of child abductions are family members. Not every "creepy" old man is out to rape your son.

First of all, I never said he was out to rape my son, or anyone for that matter. You're disgusting.

Secondly, I'm aware that the majority of abdcutions are not committed by strangers with money. There was obviously no risk of that. I don't accept anything from the guy because it will teach DS that it's OK and it will encourage this man to keep offering things to DS. Am I not allowed to be creeped out by something I consider inappropriate? You don't have to answer that because my opinion is my opinion and your comments won't change that. I don't see how it's wrong that I considered calling the cops because I didn't call them. The little old man's feelings weren't hurt by having the cops hammer on his door, so everything's fine.

You're an idiot. You say he's "weird" "creepy" accuse him of "accosting" families and admit you checked sex offender status but I'm the one who is "disgusting" for saying he ISN'T out to rape your son? What exactly is it that has you so scared of him that you consider calling the cops, then? Obviously you think he poses some sort of potential threat. I don't think you can gift a child to death so why do you think he poses a threat to your son if rape WASN'T what's on your mind and I am the disgusting one?

OK, so maybe "accosting" was the wrong choice of word. But he IS weird and creepy, and that is my opinion. And you should reread the OP - we checked the sex offender registry BEFORE we moved, not for him in particular. We checked it at the suggestion from a friend of DH's who is a cop. I don't accept the "gifts" because I don't want to encourage it in the future, some time when DS is older and I'm not outside with him. I don't know what the actual threat is that he poses, I just don't think it's appropriate. AND because he hasn't done anything illegal or anything, we decided not to call the cops. See how that works? I had a thought and decided against it. If I HAD called the cops, maybe I'd agree with you that I'm an idiot. But I didn't. And I don't think I'd ever agree with you on anything.

MegGary · February 2012

Offering your son coins & pensils is not creepy. Creepy is my neighbor, who when DD lifted her skirt over her head at 24 months, responded, "honey don't do that infront of me it's been awhile for this old guy". I said after I pulled my chin up off the floor was, "she is two yrs old FFS. Are you insane"? His response was, "I'll take it slow". He thought this was funny.

Now that is f#cking creep worthy.

MegGary · February 2012

kirky05:
MegGary:
Offering your son coins & pensils is not creepy. Creepy is my neighbor, who when DD lifted her skirt over her head at 24 months, responded, "honey don't do that infront of me it's been awhile for this old guy". I said after I pulled my chin up off the floor was, "she is two yrs old FFS. Are you insane"? His response was, "I'll take it slow". He thought this was funny.
Now that is f#cking creep worthy.
Hooooooooly motherfcking shiit. I would board my freaking windows.

He was reported. Nothing came of it because he hadn't done anything they could respond too other than our word against his. He still lives across the street & the windows are locked and we do not associate with him or his kids anymore. That's right he's got kids. Two little boys & an ex-wife who abandoned him & the boys domestic abuse. Sick story right there.

MamatoA2010 · February 2012

Oh FFS, this is just ridiculous. He's most likely an old dude thats lonely. Give me a break!

scottsbride379 · February 2012

MegGary:

Offering your son coins & pensils is not creepy. Creepy is my neighbor, who when DD lifted her skirt over her head at 24 months, responded, "honey don't do that infront of me it's been awhile for this old guy". I said after I pulled my chin up off the floor was, "she is two yrs old FFS. Are you insane"? His response was, "I'll take it slow". He thought this was funny.

Now that is f#cking creep worthy.

That is quite horrifying. Sicko. I would be boarding up my windows, too. How did he think that was even close to appropriate.

I'm sorry to offend people by my opinion. But that's just what it is, my opinion. I'm not wasting the cop's time with complaints of non-illegal activities, I'm not being rude to the guy or trying to hurt his feeling, I'm just rebuffing his offers.

cheridyoh2az · March 2012

I would go w/ your gut instinct. I'm sure this guy could just be innocent. However, I'm more weary having worked for CPS. Just because they aren't any sex offenders on the list in your area, doesn't mean there aren't any. I have run across some cases of elderly sex abusers (to neighbor kids). Many people suspect them less as they see them as a "grandpa" stereotype. Obviously, he has boundary issues and I would just say no thanks and move on.

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