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long... need advice
kinda just need to vent... my boyfriend is almost 26 years old!!! 26... and he doesnt have a job, doesnt have a licence/car, smokes cigaretts, has a warrent (always worried about cops) & is addicted to videogames!!!! our son is two months old now, and i know he loves him very much but i cant take it anymore... its time to grow up and be a adult and act like a dad... he helps with our son sometimes... ive told him many times to get a job & he says... i will when my unemplyment runs out...(hes already had one extension) & he says why dont you go get a job... im breastfeeding... and its not about us not having money or whatever, its about our son growing up and seeing you sit on your ass all day playing video games and not working... & smoking... he smokes all the time! i have nothing against smokers... but i bought him a electric cig so he could try to quit, he doesnt use it... even though he said he would... he will smoke and then come touch our son... & all of his family smoke too! today we went out to breakfest, when we were about to leave him & his dad decide they need a smoke, as soon as they smoke, they get in the car... my son had to smell that all over them... god it makes me so mad... i told my boyfriend about 3rd hand smoke, he said that theirs no such thing... really? look it up, he said no! i told him to atleast change his shirt after but he wont... and he doesnt wash his hands unless i remind him.. i just cant take it anymore... hes obveisly not going to change... what do you think i should do?? stay or go?? i know if i try to leave he wont let me... he will tell me not to and def wont let me take our son with me... i want our son to be with his dad... but whats better?? him in a home with his dad or him in a happy home?? what should i do???? i need advice... i know he wont let me leave, & i cant leave when hes not home because hes always home...
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Re: long... need advice
::sighs::
You're asking a message board full of strangers whether to leave or stay. Re-read what you just wrote about his behavior and if you still have the same question go here:
www.babygaga.com
You said, "he says why dont you go get a job... im breastfeeding..."
I don't understand this logic at all. My daughter was exclusively breastfed (or received expressed breastmilk) and I went back to work when she was 8 weeks old (as many working moms do). I pumped while I was at work and pumped extra milk after feedings while I was at home so that she could eat while she was in daycare and I could work. I'm not saying that he shouldn't work, but ultimately, you can only control you and your actions.
As far as leaving, only you can decide if you want to stay in this relationship or not. You say he won't allow you to leave, is he physically restraining you? If it is really that bad then call the police or contact the domestic violence hotline to get help and resources and a plan in place. You are not helpless, but you do need to take the steps to help yourself and your child.