Time Outs — The Bump
Upstate NY Babies

Time Outs

How do you guys do timeouts and how does your kid react?

When we do time outs, we do it like on Supernanny.  Warning, explanation at eye level, time out for 2 minutes (restart time if she gets up), explanation again, Sorry hugs and kisses.

But on supernanny, the kids are always upset to be in timeout.  DD sits there and talks to herself and sings and really seems quite happy.  I mean, she doesn't look forward to time out or anything bc a lot of the times, the warning fixes it.  But she is not unhappy at all (well 98% of the time outs) to be in time out.

Re: Time Outs

  • image jnk062602:

    unhappy at all (well 98% of the time outs) to be in time out.

    This is L too.  And we basically do the same thing.  He'll go and sit and be kind of sad but abour 5 seconds later he's talking to himself and singing and telling me he's sorry.  haha!

  • We also do it supernanny style, and she generally cries because she knows she was naughty.  Occasionally she just sits there and does her time.

    I would think that as long as Ellie doesn't continue the behavior she was sent to time out for that her reaction is fine.  It would be nice not to have to deal with tears every time. 

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  • We give a warning and then if he does not stop the behavior he gets a 2 minute time-out.  We were doing it in the dining room, but he thought it was a joke, so now he is in the kitchen in a corner (not as fun).  We got an egg timer, as we just could never figure out what 2 min was.  He used to joke about time outs but once we started HTOTB, he is upset when he goes to time-out and will not repeat the behavior...usually for the rest of the day.  
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  • I posted about this before but received no response.

    But G gets timeouts (much as you explained but shorter) he seems to understand it and if the behavior is bad I will ask him if he wants to correct the behavior or go to time out, a lot of times the warning helps. He usually cries but the tears have started earlier because I was saying no to something. 

    Our concern is that he starts to put himself in timeout and this morning it was his bear. I get worried that he is making a joke out of it but I figure that as long as it continues to work then he can "play" there. When he puts himself in timeout I usually tell him he doesn't need it and that he has been good. Letting him know that it is only when he has shown unacceptable behavior.

    G - Summer 2011

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    Spencer

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    Baby #2

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  • image MsZoeB:

    I posted about this before but received no response.

    I remember that - I think it shows that most kids don't respond this way!

    How did the HTOTB help?  I briefly read it back when Ellie was only 1 yr old, but she was easy then and it didn't really apply.  I remember a lot of the book was the caveman-style toddlerease talking right?  Or was there a section about time outs?

    And ya, I guess technically the TO is still working since she doesn't usually repeat the behavior.....for now.  I just feel like a punishment seems more effective if they act upset during it.  But I guess if it is curbing the behavior it is ok.

  • I don't have a toddler but I do use a system called 1-2-3 Magic with a student in my class at school and from reading the book, the idea of a timeout is to stop a behavior and hopefully deter a child from doing the behavior again. Your child might not be crying or being upset about a timeout because it might be a needed break for them. If they leave the timeout and go right back to doing the behavior that got them in the timeout to begin with, then I'd think there was a problem. As long as the timeout stops the behavior, it's working!

    It sounds like you're doing it right and your LO is responding well to it!

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  • image KD+BC:

    I don't have a toddler but I do use a system called 1-2-3 Magic with a student in my class at school and from reading the book, the idea of a timeout is to stop a behavior and hopefully deter a child from doing the behavior again. Your child might not be crying or being upset about a timeout because it might be a needed break for them. If they leave the timeout and go right back to doing the behavior that got them in the timeout to begin with, then I'd think there was a problem. As long as the timeout stops the behavior, it's working!

    It sounds like you're doing it right and your LO is responding well to it!

    Thanks, this is a good way to look at it. 

  • image jnk062602:
    image MsZoeB:

    I posted about this before but received no response.

    How did the HTOTB help?  I briefly read it back when Ellie was only 1 yr old, but she was easy then and it didn't really apply.  I remember a lot of the book was the caveman-style toddlerease talking right?  Or was there a section about time outs?

    I am not really sure to be honest :).  His behavior has gotten much better just by using the FFR and toddlerease and for whatever reason when he goes to timeout, he knows that we mean business.  There is a section about time-outs and how to do them "properly".  We just had to tweak a few things from what we were doing.  He went from several time outs a day to about 1-2, and I think then he is just making sure that the boundary is still there.   

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  • image MsZoeB:

    I posted about this before but received no response.

    I think a lot of this, at least from my perspective, is I was still trying to figure out what to do, how to do it, etc. so I have not felt "successful" in this area until just recently.   These little guys can be tough to figure out :)

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