Are you helping with planning your baby shower?

Aspen436 · February 2012

I am a first time mom so this is my first baby shower :O) My mom is hosting my shower for me. My mom lives 5 hours away from me so I helped her pick the restaurant to hold the baby shower. She's never been much of a party planner. That's usually my "thing"... I love party planning so it's hard for me to let someone else do it. I told her that I would love to be involved and I offered to help any way that I can. So, the next step is sending out the invitations. So naturally, I started looking on the internet and found a bunch I loved...and then I started thinking about cute themes and favors....and had so many cute ideas! But I need to STOP! It's not for me to plan...my mom is giving me the shower not me. I don't want to take over... but I guess I just can't picture my mom planning it by herself. I want to help her and be involved without making it seem like I am taking over. I just have a certain theme and vision of my baby shower, and I guess I am a little worried that it won't be the way I imagined it to be if my mom does it all on her own. Party planning is just not her thing. I don't even think she knows what to do. I want to help her, but when I talk to my friends about it they say "Are you planning your own baby shower???" ....so it makes me feel stupid! Maybe I am getting too involved? Maybe I should back off and just let my mom do what she is going to do? Even if it's not exactly the way I envisioned it to be, it will still be so special...knowing it came from my mom. Should I just sit back and relax...and let her plan it. Did anyone else help their mom plan their baby shower, or is the general rule of thumb to let the mom do it all. What is everyone's thoughts on this please?? Thanks so much!!!

ccam · February 2012

I'm not at that point yet, but it seems like you might be getting involved just a little too much. My mom plans to throw me a shower and its the same in my family - I'm the party planner. I'm sure she will ask my opinions about things and I'll certainly give it to her, but I won't be coming out and making suggestions to her.

I would just sit back and let her plan it. If she asks for your opinion, give it to her but beyond that it sounds like you are planning your own shower.

ChristyML · February 2012

I don't have any advice (sorry!) but I feel the same way you do! I have heard though, now that I think about it, that if she asks for your help, you can help a little bit.

Aspen436 · February 2012

Yeah, i think you are right. I think I am getting a little too involved. I should probably just sit back and relax...and let her do it all. Thanks for your advice!

ccam:

I'm not at that point yet, but it seems like you might be getting involved just a little too much. My mom plans to throw me a shower and its the same in my family - I'm the party planner. I'm sure she will ask my opinions about things and I'll certainly give it to her, but I won't be coming out and making suggestions to her.

I would just sit back and let her plan it. If she asks for your opinion, give it to her but beyond that it sounds like you are planning your own shower.

Gismo123 · February 2012

My cousin is throwing my shower and while I love party planning too, I am taking a back seat on this ride. This is her gig to plan and so far she is having a blast doing it, of course if she asked me for my opinion or for help I would give it but I won't soliciate my advice unless asked. I am just very grateful she wants to host one for me so it really doesn't matter to me how she goes about it as long ad it's proper ettiquete lol

imimahoney · February 2012

I'm involved minimally.

I gave her my guest list, said I wanted brunch and requested no dumb games... that's it.

While I'm sure the idea you have in your head of a baby shower is perfect, the one being planned for you will probably be just as nice... because someone who loves you is throwing a shower in your honor.

Sit back, relax and enjoy the day. It'll be great.

Liz4444 · February 2012

Aspen436:
I am a first time mom so this is my first baby shower :O) My mom is hosting my shower for me. My mom lives 5 hours away from me so I helped her pick the restaurant to hold the baby shower. She's never been much of a party planner. That's usually my "thing"... I love party planning so it's hard for me to let someone else do it. I told her that I would love to be involved and I offered to help any way that I can. So, the next step is sending out the invitations. So naturally, I started looking on the internet and found a bunch I loved...and then I started thinking about cute themes and favors....and had so many cute ideas! But I need to STOP! It's not for me to plan...my mom is giving me the shower not me. I don't want to take over... but I guess I just can't picture my mom planning it by herself. I want to help her and be involved without making it seem like I am taking over. I just have a certain theme and vision of my baby shower, and I guess I am a little worried that it won't be the way I imagined it to be if my mom does it all on her own. Party planning is just not her thing. I don't even think she knows what to do. I want to help her, but when I talk to my friends about it they say "Are you planning your own baby shower???" ....so it makes me feel stupid! Maybe I am getting too involved? Maybe I should back off and just let my mom do what she is going to do? Even if it's not exactly the way I envisioned it to be, it will still be so special...knowing it came from my mom. Should I just sit back and relax...and let her plan it. Did anyone else help their mom plan their baby shower, or is the general rule of thumb to let the mom do it all. What is everyone's thoughts on this please?? Thanks so much!!!

You answered your own question right here, do this!

dufferoo · February 2012

I know you are worried that the shower won't turn out how you've envisioned it, but that's okay! Take what you get, and then next time one of your friends get pregnant you can plan HER your dream shower!

jba400 · February 2012

oh gosh, i'm going to contradict everyone else, but i think it's totally ok to be as involved as you want to be. (and you don't have to tell everyone to what extent you were.)

i have all kinds of ideas for my shower. i haven't passed them on to my 2 friends who are hosting yet, but i feel like it will be ok. in fact, i have lots of ideas for decor - and i don't want to ask my hostesses to pay for them, so i'm going to pay for them myself.

in your case, it sounds like your mom might actually appreciate the help w/ ideas, etc.

FemShep · February 2012

The world will not end if your baby shower isn't exactly how you envision it. Sit back and let your mom plan it unless she specifically asks you for help, and them try to limit the help to what she asks for. (If she asks for help finding a venue, don't start looking at invitations.)

LaurenCase89 · February 2012

My mom is planning my shower as well and she's run her ideas by me. Like she asked if a Dr.Seuss theme was something I'd want (YES!!) and what food I would possibly want. Beyond that I would feel as though I was being too involved. I tend to be a little picky and perhaps a bit of a control freak so I haven't asked about the plans so I will not be too involved.

mrsmommya · February 2012

I think as much as she wants you involved is ok....my mom is "hosting" but really she is just wanting to pay for everything. She has no interest in creating things or looking anything up.

Me and my sister are doing alot of the decorations and such...but of course I am only involved in the fun stuff like creating decorations and looking up invite themes and such (she is doing the dirty work - addresses, setting up, cleaning up, thank-yous etc). Big Smile

I could never just sit back and let them do it (for one I am out of work and need something to do) plus I am just way to type A and really enjoy doing the crafty things that we have decided upon for my shower.

rhubarb123 · February 2012

If your mom seems receptive to your ideas then give them. If she seems/acts like you are taking over then back off. Just ask her how much help she wants from you. I would not be telling other people YOU are doing any of the planning/work though. Just keep it between you and your mom.

BallSox · February 2012

What is more important, your perfect vision of a shower at the expense of doing all the work, the stress and basically telling your mom she's not doing it "The Right Way" or having a (maybe) slightly imperfect shower that's given with love and sincerity from your mom?

It sounds to me like (through your wall of text) that you are just looking for approval that it's ok to take over your shower so that it is [squee] perfect!

luvlss1 · February 2012

rhubarb123:
If your mom seems receptive to your ideas then give them. If she seems/acts like you are taking over then back off. Just ask her how much help she wants from you. I would not be telling other people YOU are doing any of the planning/work though. Just keep it between you and your mom.

THIS

Cranang · February 2012

Mrs Mommy:

I think as much as she wants you involved is ok....my mom is "hosting" but really she is just wanting to pay for everything. She has no interest in creating things or looking anything up.

Me and my sister are doing alot of the decorations and such...but of course I am only involved in the fun stuff like creating decorations and looking up invite themes and such (she is doing the dirty work - addresses, setting up, cleaning up, thank-yous etc).

I could never just sit back and let them do it (for one I am out of work and need something to do) plus I am just way to type A and really enjoy doing the crafty things that we have decided upon for my shower.

Wait, so your sister is doing the thank you notes and the "dirty work?" Yeah, people take time out of their lives and buy you a gift with their hard-earned money, but it's too much trouble for you to do any dirty work.

PunkyBooster · February 2012

I had no say in mine, but you can always ask her if she would like help with anything. If she says no, step back. If she says, "Well, like what?" then feel free to share your ideas.

ohiobride2004 · February 2012

I made the guest list and that is about it. My sisters and mom know what they are doing though.

angelak24 · February 2012

I don't really know what the answer is! I am the same way, love throwing parties and party planning etc. so I agree it is hard to kind of step back. I personally think if you want to help and it's easy to say to your mom "Hey I like this, etc" then i would go for it. However, I would probably stop mentioning it to your friends that you are helping that much so it doesn't seem like you are throwing a party for yourself. I would love to help do stuff for mine, my SIL is throwing it for the most part and my mom is "helping" but she is not a party planner so her "helping" will probably be more financially than anything. Again, I think it is ok to help and be involved but I think it will also be fun to kind of be surprised and really be the guest of honor if you will. I did not have a wedding shower (wedding out of town with a few quests and etiquette said you should only invite people to the shower that would be coming to the actual wedding) and when I think back I am sooo sad that I didn't just have one!

kenna92 · February 2012

I am basically planning my own shower, MIL decided she wanted to host it, turns out all she was planning on was a sheet cake and balloons. So here i am searching for shower ideas and wishing I could uninvite half the guests. Good luck with your planning, I think with your circumstances you are involved as much as you need to be.

Are you helping with planning your baby shower?

Re: Are you helping with planning your baby shower?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards