vacation planning is making me twitchy
QueSrah
member
DH wants us to go away (without DD) to CA for a vacation in May and is getting all "we need to plan this NOW" about it. I'm hesitant enough to go without T, because it's a lot to ask of our parents (even though they will say they won't mind). But then I say I'd be ok with 4 nights/5 days max, and DH starts turning it into a longer trip involving long drives, staying in multiple cities, and potentially hanging out with friends of his I've never met. Before having a kid, that trip would have sounded great. Now I'm just worrying about how our parents will handle keeping up with a newly PT'd kid for 5 or 6 days. I know my parents wouldn't take T to daycare, since they'll want to spend every minute possible with her. And then they'll just end up exhausted and T might get bored (since they don't live around here and so might not drive farther than one of the neighborhood parks). I'm worried about how the grandparents will deal and how I will possibly relax if the whole trip is go go go from one place to the next.
Am I being crazy? Talk me down. Vacations should be fun, right?
Re: vacation planning is making me twitchy
I understand your hesitation. Has T stayed overnight with them before? Can you do a quick weekend overnight trip (like 2 nights) as a "trial" before you plan a week-long trip? If things go smoothly, I think that would ease your mind for the longer trip.
I would give my right arm to take a vacation without my kids.
So here's me talking you down: take a nice, long trip. Everyone back home will survive. ENJOY yourself. Even if you parents have a tough time, what's the worst that happens - they're totally exhausted at the end and say "we're NEVER doing that again!" At which point you might say, "well gees, then I wish I'd stayed away longer and made it count."
Seriously. My.Right.Arm.
I will be re-reading this periodically. My DH will thank you later
My questions are:
1. Have you ever done a trip without your LO and how long was it? How did you do and how did LO do?
2. How familiar are your parents with DD, the amount of work involved, etc. And how comfortable is DD with them?
Our ILs know DD#1 very well and always spent a lot of time with her. When she was a year old, we did a 2 night trip away for a wedding. We missed her a lot but it was a short trip and a good length of time.
When DD was about 20 months, we went on a trip for 4 nights. I was really looking forward to the get away and not having the responsibilities of being a parent. However, DH and I both missed DD dearly the entire time (and I'm not one of those mom's that's really clingy). I missed her smile, her antics, her little phrases, seeing her tottle around, etc. I just felt like life was not the same without her and it was somewhat hard for me to enjoy the trip. The night before we were supposed to fly out, the ILs called us and said that she was going to the front door and saying "mama" and "dada" and just standing there. Talk about breaking my heart! I called the airline and moved our flight up by a few hours (although I would've liked to have left that night). That night I could barely sleep and I just couldn't wait to get out of there ASAP and get home and grab her into my arms. So, that is my story. We probably won't be doing a childless trip for a while (unless it's just 1-2 nights). Maybe when they are older it is easier. However, I just felt horrible that my little 20 month old couldn't understand why we left.
Anyway, I guess my point is that if you are having reservations about it now and the length of time, then it may not end up being that great of a trip for you. I never expected to have such a problem with our trip so it really caught me off guard to be feeling so sad with out my LO.
Please go on this trip and really, enjoy. I will live vicariously through you.
we have only gone on one kid-free vacation, when DD was 11mo old. Hearing that she woke up every morning saying "mama" hurt my heart but we still had a great time! We did a similar trip to what your DH wants, lots of driving, staying in different hotels, we rented a convertible and had the top down because, hey, no car seat!! It was really good for us. I don't know when we'll be able to take such a trip again, leaving 2 kids is hard. I would suggest that your parents do take your DD to daycare to keep as much of her routine as possible and try to spend a lot of time w/her before your trip so she can get really used to them.
Go, have fun! Listen to artslvr! And if you plan on having more kids, go NOW.