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tandem nursing question
sometimesalwayschaotic
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in Two Under 2
I have been contemplating tandem nursing DD. She would probably be fine if she weaned right now since we nurse about every other day (or less) before bed. I am worried that if I just wean her now she will have major jealousy issues since the baby will be here in about 7 weeks. Would it be best to keep her nursing occasionally until the baby comes or just cut her off now in your experience? Thanks!
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Re: tandem nursing question
It depends on if you like the idea of tandem nursing or not. My son was about where your daughter is when we had #2. I was ok with tandem nursing and also didn't want to deal with weaning since I was so sick and tired from the pregnancy. Here's some food for thought re; tandem nursing:
-Teaching the little one to nurse was super easy and not painful at all because the milk was already there. It does adjust accordingly for a newborn. She nursed for a good 30 min right out of the womb, and was clearly getting milk as it was dripping down her chin, so cute.
-I did still have my milk "come in" because my supply was adjusting, but it was much easier than the first time.
-My son started nursing ALL THE TIME when his sister was born. He would nurse every time she nursed and more (because she was sleeping).
-My son stopped eating as well, which turned out fine because he's still growing appropriately but makes mealtimes odd because he doesn't have any desire to sit and eat with us.
-Both of my children are growing really well so health wise it's working great. I'm hungry all the time though, so factor that in.
-Think about if you want to nurse both together or take turns and make that rule right off the bat. I let my son nurse with his sister and now he thinks he always can. That can be tricky. But it's also helpful because when I need to nurse her I just offer to him as well and he's contained.
-We haven't had any jealousy issues at all and I attribute that to tandem nursing. They just share. Although my son does also offer other food/drinks to the baby so you have to watch that.
That's all I can think of right now, but if you have any questions feel free to ask.
Was your son nursing often before your daughter came along? I am nervous nursing DD every time I nurse the baby but it would be easier than having a roaming toddler!
He was only nursing either at night or in the morning, almost always just once/day or even less. He picked up the frequency when the baby came. My guess is that the milk changed and was more appealing. I also think that the milk meant to grow an infant is more than enough for my toddler, which is why he isn't eating.
I forgot to mention that he has cut back. He now probably only nurses every 3rd time that she does and does accept no when I say it. It was just hard for the first month or so. He still nurses for nap and bed now and then sometimes when she's nursing but not as often. And consequently has started eating a bit again.
What makes you nervous about nursing them both? Maybe I can help.
Oh, and I highly recommend the book "Adventures in Tandem Nursing". Even if you don't end up tandem nursing it has a section on gentle weaning.
I'm large breasted too (DD before babies, no idea what now since I use nursing tanks). I do one of a few things; prop the baby on my lap and support the breast for her as well as my son, hold my daughter and adjust my body/posture so that I don't have to support the breast (that was weird for me at first since I always did for my son), or hold my daughter and support her breast and just give my son access to the other side. He typically has to kneel next to me and has gotten better and better at holding his own breast, especially since his choice is sometimes that or wait. I did have some pain initially because his latch was off and he's stronger than a newborn but he was also old enough that I could tell him that it hurt and to "try again" and he could usually fix his latch.
In terms of if it's best for your daughter, well, only you can decide that ultimately. At this point I do believe it's best for my son. I feel like it was a nice constant for him in the midst of a lot of changes and we're at a point now where he still nurses more than he did before but not any more than I would be ok with him nursing at this age anyway.
Weight gain wise... your pediatrician is wrong. Granted there may be individual issues with you or one of your babies that would effect weight gain, but tandem nursing itself is not one of them. Here are our stats and maybe they will make you feel better: My daughter was born at 9 lbs, weighed 8 lbs 8 oz 2 days later (totally normal right?), 10 lbs 10 oz at her one month appt and 12 lbs 6 oz at her 2 month. Her length (though I don't remember the #s is off the charts. She was the size of a 4.5 month old at the 2 month appt. In that same time frame my son also gained. He had dropped off his normal curve at the 15 month appt, was making up ground at the 18 month and by the 2 year appt (we'd had little sister for 2 months at that point) was right back on track.
My guess is that if your daughter doesn't nurse as much she'll keep eating normally. Breastfed kids eat when they're hungry. I wouldn't worry about that too much, until it becomes a problem, and then figure it out. You can always make a rule for the older one that she has to eat first and then she can nurse.