- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
CFjo2010
member
Thought I'd switch it up a bit
CFjo2010
member
Normally I'm venting about the games BM is playing regarding my bonus daughter. But I thought it was time for a change. So now I'm here venting about my children's father. I rarely ever talk about him because to be quite honest (and flame away if you must): he doesn't matter. He moved across the country 7 years ago with 3 days notice to our children. He sees them at most twice a year for 2 weeks at a time. I have told him numerous times that he is more than welcome to visit the children out here in CA whenever he'd like as long as he gives me 30 days notice so that I can plan accordingly. He's remarried now as well and has never flown out here to see the kids. He seems quite content seeing them twice a year on odd years and once a year on even years. He doesn't call to talk to the children, doesn't send letters or cards, hell he doesn't even pay his child support. He has, in all ways that matter, abandoned his children and started over in another state.
My husband and I decided that in the Fall we are going to transfer my daughter (let's call her "R") to the same school as my bonus daughter. The girls want to go to school together (they're 2 years apart), but BM refuses to put my bonus daughter at the school that is actually closer to both homes (where R is currently enrolled) because as she put it, "They aren't even really sisters". So that leaves the compromising on my husband and me. I scheduled a meeting with the school district to get the transfer started and basically all I need is a CO stating what school I want R in. I called her father and explained the situation. I let him know we can either sign a Stipulation and get the Judge's signature on it, or we can go to Court and deal with a long drawn out process. He agreed that the girls should go to school together and said as long as it's what R wants, he's all for it. I had R call her father after school that day and he asked me to email him the Stipulation.
So I draft the Stipulation and email it to him in 3 freaking formats: Word Perfect, PDF and regular Word. 2 days go by and no response. I text him and he tells me he can't open any of the attachments. I asked if he could use someone else's computer and he tells me "no". I ask if there's somewhere I can fax it and he tells me no. I ask if his wife has a fax at her work and he tells me she's off until next week. I ask if there's a FedEx or other mailing center that has a customer fax and he tells me to just wait and fax it next week when his wife goes to work.
I need his original signature to file with Court so he has to mail me back the document, which will take about a week. I explained to him that even by filing a Stipulation it can take a month to get it back from the Court, and the sooner I get the transfer started, the easier the transition in the Fall will be (meaning, we won't risk R starting the school year at one school and then transferring a week later). Friday I Express mailed the stipulation to him and even prepaid the envelope and addressed it for him to return the document to me so that I'll have it by next Friday. I'm only off on Fridays now and I'll need to drive the Stipulation to Court (and hour and half away), so my days are clearly limited.
I'm livid. I drafted the Stipulation, paid all the postage there and back, I'm driving the document to Court, I'm paying the filing fee, and he's not showing the least bit of urgency about this. He has already removed himself from the children's lives, and he can't pretend to give a damn for one measly document? It infuriates me that he's holding up this process, when it doesn't even effect him in any way, shape or form. More and more I want to go back to Court and make it so I have sole legal custody so that I can avoid this nonsense later on.
End vent 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Thought I'd switch it up a bit
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Call me crazy, but since he verbally okay'ed it...I would just forge his signature
I don't have time for stupid bulllshit.
It sounds like you should go back to court and get sole legal custody....would he even show up to fight you? It's not like you're losing out on CS or anything....
Hahahaha he's requested 3 modifications in the past year (but never turned in his paperwork so it was dropped) and my response each time was, "How do you drop what you're already NOT paying?!". Idiot.
He would probably appear by phone for the hearing, but last time there was any sort of hearing, he no-showed twice before the Judge threw his hands in the air and said, "You get whatever you want". Even if I just get an order saying that I am solely responsible for school decisions, that will be sufficient.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools