How realistic is this?

Rabitt313 · February 2012

I've been struggling with the decision to breastfeed or formula feed. I keep bouncing back and forth. But the one thing that keeps pulling me back to breastfeeding is how good breastmilk will be for the baby.

I'm toying around with this idea of doing both. Without the actual breastfeeding. How realistic is it to exclusively pump and fill in with formula?

tokenhoser · February 2012

People do it, but usually out of necessity. It kind of sounds like the worst of everything to me - you have to keep track of preparing formula and washing bottles AND pumping, with none of the closeness and easiness of breastfeeding.

Why don't you want to breastfeed? It's okay if it seems weird to you now. It seemed weird to me before I did it, and now it's almost 10 months later and it's really... normal. And convenient. And amazing.

jennylove1084 · February 2012

I tried that with my first and it was a PITA and not long before he was 100% FF which was fine except he had a milk allergy which was insanely expensive.

I am BFing dd and it's so much better. I only pump once a day bc I still hate pumping with a passion but do in case I need to supplement with a bottle. I have so much more free time now too - no bottles to wash, no throwing away formula, mixing more bc baby is still hungry etc

Rabitt313 · February 2012

Here are my reasons so far:

- If I breastfeed, for however long, my diet is still restricted to some extent.
- I'm solely responsible for feeding the baby, which means in some ways I'm restricted on what I can do or where I can go. Also my DH doesn't like the idea that he won't be able to feed the baby.
- Once I return to work I would have to pump in my car.
- And yes I struggle a bit with the actual act.
- Immense guilt, on both sides.

julesjarvais65 · February 2012

Rabitt313:

Here are my reasons so far:

- If I breastfeed, for however long, my diet is still restricted to some extent.
- I'm solely responsible for feeding the baby, which means in some ways I'm restricted on what I can do or where I can go. Also my DH doesn't like the idea that he won't be able to feed the baby.
- Once I return to work I would have to pump in my car.
- And yes I struggle a bit with the actual act.
- Immense guilt, on both sides.

I haven't found anything restricting in my diet. I eat basically whatever I want and drink 2 cups of coffee a day, which is plenty for me. The only thing I worry about is drinking, which I will figure out in like a month, there are ways around it.

After just a few weeks (or even before if your comfortable and baby's established with bfing) you can introduce a bottle and your DH could give a bottle a couple times a day while you pump. And I never have issues going anywhere either. I have had to go feed her in my car a couple times but its always been when she has been cluster feeding.

I'm not sure about pumping and work, haven't gotten there yet.

I thought I would be uncomfortable with it at first, but I love it. I'm actually struggling with introducing the bottle within the next week or so (DD is 3 weeks old).

hannafemme · February 2012

Rabitt313:
Here are my reasons so far:

- If I breastfeed, for however long, my diet is still restricted to some extent.
Not really. I eat anything I want including spicy foods. I have a cup of coffee every day, and a glass of wine or a beer a couple nights a week.

- I'm solely responsible for feeding the baby, which means in some ways I'm restricted on what I can do or where I can go. Also my DH doesn't like the idea that he won't be able to feed the baby.
Once breastfeeding is established (around 4 weeks) you can pump and let DH give a bottle once a day. This gives you time and lets him feed the baby. He can also find many other ways to bond with the baby. He can be in charge of bath time, story time, etc...Feeding is not the only way to bond.
- Once I return to work I would have to pump in my car.
I do this all the time because I travel for work. Its really not that bad, but are you sure? Depending on the size of your company they are required to provide you with a place to pump. I would look into the laws before you go out on maternity leave and set up a meeting with HR letting them know that you will need a place to pump.

- And yes I struggle a bit with the actual act.
- Immense guilt, on both sides.

Of course you have to do what's best for your family, but breastfeeding is one of the best things you can do for your baby, and I think its such an amazing experience for you as a mom. You can always give it a try in the beginning and change your mind later if its too much for you.

textbookcase · February 2012

Rabitt313:
Here are my reasons so far:

- If I breastfeed, for however long, my diet is still restricted to some extent.
- I'm solely responsible for feeding the baby, which means in some ways I'm restricted on what I can do or where I can go. Also my DH doesn't like the idea that he won't be able to feed the baby.
- Once I return to work I would have to pump in my car.
- And yes I struggle a bit with the actual act.
- Immense guilt, on both sides.

Echoing what the others have said...my diet isn't restricted in any way. DD doesn't have a problem with any foods, I still drink coffee daily, and I would feel comfortable drinking a glass of wine or a beer occasionally if I wanted to.

We had some supply issues in the beginning and had to introduce the bottle early, so H has given dd bottles of pumped milk when I've left for a few hours.

I'm not restricted at all in where I go. I have a nursing cover and use it if I need to feed her in public somewhere. This is my 3rd child, so I pretty much haul her wherever I need to go.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

To respond to the work issue. I've been with this company for 5 years and have seen many women who pump go to their cars. We have over 50 employees, and I'm sure if I pressed they would create a space for me. But that in itself is more stressful for me.

Also, with regards to all of the other ways DH can bond with baby, we've discussed that. But he has a very strong feeling about being the one who feeds, rocks and puts baby to bed at night. I can't just exclude him, or his feelings. I have to consider them.

tokenhoser · February 2012

Rabitt313:
To respond to the work issue. I've been with this company for 5 years and have seen many women who pump go to their cars. We have over 50 employees, and I'm sure if I pressed they would create a space for me. But that in itself is more stressful for me.

Also, with regards to all of the other ways DH can bond with baby, we've discussed that. But he has a very strong feeling about being the one who feeds, rocks and puts baby to bed at night. I can't just exclude him, or his feelings. I have to consider them.

He thinks he has a really strong feeling now, but honestly... it probably won't be something he really wants to do every single night for the next year. It's fine to pump a bottle for him to do this, though, and doesn't have to mean you EP or supplement. Your baby's wellbeing should be top priority, and the best thing for your baby is breastfeeding. The second best thing is bottle-fed breastmilk. The third best is actually donor milk, and the last place alternative is formula. My baby is worth more than last place if I'm capable of providing it.

Froggy76 · February 2012

I hate pumping, and I'd probably quit BFing if I couldn't nurse DD. Just being honest! It took me a while to love BFing, but it's totally worth it now. It makes life much, much harder in some ways (it's tough to get away from the baby in the beginning, need to pump now that I'm back at work), but in other ways it makes life much easier (I'm a lazy mom and the boob is the best way for me to get some downtime to watch tv/surf the internet).

In the beginning, don't worry about what you'll do when you get back to work. Just give it your all. Don't restrict your diet except to limit alcohol when you will be nursing soon. I am shocked by how many women on these boards have cut out dairy, etc... I really doubt it's necessary in most cases.

Also, you CAN ignore your H's feelings about this- that's just not a good enough reason to give formula instead of breastmilk. And, honestly, I don't think feeding a bottle is a bonding experience. There's generally a lot of spit-up, crying, fussing involved. After a couple weeks, you can pump once a day so he can give a bottle each day. My H also got plenty of opportunities to rock DD to sleep after I had fed her. But, really, I think he enjoyed the fact that most of the feeding and night-time responsibility was on me.

blu-eyedwife · February 2012

Rabitt313:

Also, with regards to all of the other ways DH can bond with baby, we've discussed that. But he has a very strong feeling about being the one who feeds, rocks and puts baby to bed at night. I can't just exclude him, or his feelings. I have to consider them.

My DH does this. But we didn't start it till the baby was 6 weeks old. Before that, I would do the night feed, and pass the baby to him for rocking and putting to bed. Win/Win. Honestly, I understand him wanting to do this, but he's already waiting 9 months, what's another 4 weeks if it's in the best interest of your child?

MesmrEwe · February 2012

Whichever you choose to do be confident in your decision and never guilt yourself over it! The only detail that matters is that your LO gets fed!

I'm EP and supplementing with formula as well. We've been supplementing since the start because this time around I determined that there was no way I was going to guilt myself like I did when I EP for DD and eventually had to supplement because my supply couldn't keep up. I'm also EP by choice and not for anything other than I just have no intention of ever latching. That said, the only challenge with EP is learning your pump and knowing any/all maintenance issues such that you keep it running efficiently at all times. If your pump isn't working efficiently or properly adjusted to you and what works best for your body you won't empty efficiently.

Choose what works for you and commit to it. EP and latching are both a lot of work and it's up to you alone to determine what works best for you...

mabst196 · February 2012

EPing by choice would be setting yourself up for a lot of work. It's not just pumping every two hours. You have to pump and then feed the baby as well with a bottle. Your DH isn't going to be around every day all day to feed the baby while you pump. You'd pretty much have no time for anything else. You can pump here and there to have your DH help out. I'm in the camp that if I had to EP, I'd probably FF. I pump at work sometimes in my car as I am consultant and don't work for the places I go to. It's not ideal, but it works.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

tokenhoser:
Rabitt313:

To respond to the work issue. I've been with this company for 5 years and have seen many women who pump go to their cars. We have over 50 employees, and I'm sure if I pressed they would create a space for me. But that in itself is more stressful for me.

Also, with regards to all of the other ways DH can bond with baby, we've discussed that. But he has a very strong feeling about being the one who feeds, rocks and puts baby to bed at night. I can't just exclude him, or his feelings. I have to consider them.

He thinks he has a really strong feeling now, but honestly... it probably won't be something he really wants to do every single night for the next year. It's fine to pump a bottle for him to do this, though, and doesn't have to mean you EP or supplement. Your baby's wellbeing should be top priority, and the best thing for your baby is breastfeeding. The second best thing is bottle-fed breastmilk. The third best is actually donor milk, and the last place alternative is formula. My baby is worth more than last place if I'm capable of providing it.

Who says I want to breastfeed everynight several times a night for the next year? Please don't attempt to assume what my DH will feel in a few months. And are you saying that if I choose to formula feed my baby I'm putting myself over my baby's wellbeing, or better yet, my baby isn't worth as much as yours? Did you just tell me that if I don't breastfeed or at least get breast milk into my baby I'm a bad mother? Just want to make sure I'm reading this right, there is a lot of judgement out there. It used to be looked down on for a mother to breastfeed, especially in public, now it seems like if you formula feed, you should be burned at the stake. One of my biggest pet peeves is the outside pressures, being a mom/dad isn't easy, the very least we could do as a society is try to support one another, instead of tearing each other down. Sorry but I was looking for advice on a situation I'm unsure of, and I do not respond well to scare tactics or passive aggressive judgements.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

Froggy76:

I hate pumping, and I'd probably quit BFing if I couldn't nurse DD. Just being honest! It took me a while to love BFing, but it's totally worth it now. It makes life much, much harder in some ways (it's tough to get away from the baby in the beginning, need to pump now that I'm back at work), but in other ways it makes life much easier (I'm a lazy mom and the boob is the best way for me to get some downtime to watch tv/surf the internet).

In the beginning, don't worry about what you'll do when you get back to work. Just give it your all. Don't restrict your diet except to limit alcohol when you will be nursing soon. I am shocked by how many women on these boards have cut out dairy, etc... I really doubt it's necessary in most cases.

Also, you CAN ignore your H's feelings about this- that's just not a good enough reason to give formula instead of breastmilk. And, honestly, I don't think feeding a bottle is a bonding experience. There's generally a lot of spit-up, crying, fussing involved. After a couple weeks, you can pump once a day so he can give a bottle each day. My H also got plenty of opportunities to rock DD to sleep after I had fed her. But, really, I think he enjoyed the fact that most of the feeding and night-time responsibility was on me.

I don't have that kind of relationship with my husband. We actually care about each others feelings. And I didn't say I was going to exclusively formula feed, we both feel strongly about giving the baby breastmilk. My question was how realisitic is it to pump from the beginning so that DH can be included in feedings. Whatever you all may think about how your husbands responded and how mine will, I wish you would at the very least respect the fact that he wants whats best for the baby and he wants to be involved. I think there is a little more man-bashing here then I was expecting.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

blu-eyedwife:
Rabitt313:

Also, with regards to all of the other ways DH can bond with baby, we've discussed that. But he has a very strong feeling about being the one who feeds, rocks and puts baby to bed at night. I can't just exclude him, or his feelings. I have to consider them.

My DH does this. But we didn't start it till the baby was 6 weeks old. Before that, I would do the night feed, and pass the baby to him for rocking and putting to bed. Win/Win. Honestly, I understand him wanting to do this, but he's already waiting 9 months, what's another 4 weeks if it's in the best interest of your child?

Valid point. Thank you.

HappyToBe2012 · February 2012

I EP and suppliment with formula and have since DD was a week and a half old. For us, breastfeeding at the breast just didn't work - we had too many issues and it lead to a lot of tears from both her and I. EPing is rough, I will say that. I am not the greatest at forcing myself to do it on a regular schedule though I am thankfully still producing a good amount. DH was fully onboard with whatever I wanted to do regarding feeding. Occassionally, he will give DD a bottle but usually I do it since I am more efficient at getting her to eat and burp. Though he does help out in other ways, the biggest being I normally don't have to change diapers when he's home. He also prepares the formula bottles for me and will get my pump pieces for middle of the night pumping sessions.

Really, it comes down to what works best for you. For us, it was to EP and suppliment with formula. Yes, I do spend a lot of time washing pieces and bottles. And yes, pumping is annoying, especially at 3am when everyone else is back asleep. But it is what works for us.

tokenhoser · February 2012

Rabitt313:
Who says I want to breastfeed everynight several times a night for the next year? Please don't attempt to assume what my DH will feel in a few months. And are you saying that if I choose to formula feed my baby I'm putting myself over my baby's wellbeing, or better yet, my baby isn't worth as much as yours? Did you just tell me that if I don't breastfeed or at least get breast milk into my baby I'm a bad mother? Just want to make sure I'm reading this right, there is a lot of judgement out there. It used to be looked down on for a mother to breastfeed, especially in public, now it seems like if you formula feed, you should be burned at the stake. One of my biggest pet peeves is the outside pressures, being a mom/dad isn't easy, the very least we could do as a society is try to support one another, instead of tearing each other down. Sorry but I was looking for advice on a situation I'm unsure of, and I do not respond well to scare tactics or passive aggressive judgements.

Yes, if you choose to formula feed for no real reason, you're putting your baby second and you don't value what's best for him or her. It's a proven medical fact, like not smoking during pregnancy is better than smoking.

I will support any mom, but it's not a lifestyle choice to breastfeed or not - it's a health issue for both mom and baby. I happily answer questions about supplementing, about part time breastfeeding, about anything I can help with... but I'm not going to sugar coat that choosing formula without trying to breastfeed is a selfish choice to give your baby a fourth rate food.

memo9 · February 2012

tokenhoser:
Rabitt313:
Who says I want to breastfeed everynight several times a night for the next year? Please don't attempt to assume what my DH will feel in a few months. And are you saying that if I choose to formula feed my baby I'm putting myself over my baby's wellbeing, or better yet, my baby isn't worth as much as yours? Did you just tell me that if I don't breastfeed or at least get breast milk into my baby I'm a bad mother? Just want to make sure I'm reading this right, there is a lot of judgement out there. It used to be looked down on for a mother to breastfeed, especially in public, now it seems like if you formula feed, you should be burned at the stake. One of my biggest pet peeves is the outside pressures, being a mom/dad isn't easy, the very least we could do as a society is try to support one another, instead of tearing each other down. Sorry but I was looking for advice on a situation I'm unsure of, and I do not respond well to scare tactics or passive aggressive judgements.
Yes, if you choose to formula feed for no real reason, you're putting your baby second and you don't value what's best for him or her. It's a proven medical fact, like not smoking during pregnancy is better than smoking.
I will support any mom, but it's not a lifestyle choice to breastfeed or not - it's a health issue for both mom and baby. I happily answer questions about supplementing, about part time breastfeeding, about anything I can help with... but I'm not going to sugar coat that choosing formula without trying to breastfeed is a selfish choice to give your baby a fourth rate food.

And to back this statement up : The AAP's stance on breastfeeding

I would encourage your husband to research the benefits of breastmilk and breastfeeding for mom and baby. In the grand scheme of things, a few weeks is a very short amount of time.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

tokenhoser:
Rabitt313:

Who says I want to breastfeed everynight several times a night for the next year? Please don't attempt to assume what my DH will feel in a few months. And are you saying that if I choose to formula feed my baby I'm putting myself over my baby's wellbeing, or better yet, my baby isn't worth as much as yours? Did you just tell me that if I don't breastfeed or at least get breast milk into my baby I'm a bad mother? Just want to make sure I'm reading this right, there is a lot of judgement out there. It used to be looked down on for a mother to breastfeed, especially in public, now it seems like if you formula feed, you should be burned at the stake. One of my biggest pet peeves is the outside pressures, being a mom/dad isn't easy, the very least we could do as a society is try to support one another, instead of tearing each other down. Sorry but I was looking for advice on a situation I'm unsure of, and I do not respond well to scare tactics or passive aggressive judgements.

Yes, if you choose to formula feed for no real reason, you're putting your baby second and you don't value what's best for him or her. It's a proven medical fact, like not smoking during pregnancy is better than smoking.

I will support any mom, but it's not a lifestyle choice to breastfeed or not - it's a health issue for both mom and baby. I happily answer questions about supplementing, about part time breastfeeding, about anything I can help with... but I'm not going to sugar coat that choosing formula without trying to breastfeed is a selfish choice to give your baby a fourth rate food.

Not one time did I ask anyone to sugar coat anything for me, in fact I was looking for the opposite, real life experience, which I got, here and there. But what I also got was judgmental snobs who think they are better then other people. I also never said I plan to exclusively formula feed, my original statement was to pump and supplement formula if need be. But its always good to know that whatever my decisions are for my child, there will be someone out there like you judging me, ridiculing me and making me out to be a bad mother. I guess thats a reality I will just have to face. In the end, you've only insulted me, and if you feel better about yourself for doing so, then good for you.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

MegMo10:
tokenhoser:
Rabitt313:

Who says I want to breastfeed everynight several times a night for the next year? Please don't attempt to assume what my DH will feel in a few months. And are you saying that if I choose to formula feed my baby I'm putting myself over my baby's wellbeing, or better yet, my baby isn't worth as much as yours? Did you just tell me that if I don't breastfeed or at least get breast milk into my baby I'm a bad mother? Just want to make sure I'm reading this right, there is a lot of judgement out there. It used to be looked down on for a mother to breastfeed, especially in public, now it seems like if you formula feed, you should be burned at the stake. One of my biggest pet peeves is the outside pressures, being a mom/dad isn't easy, the very least we could do as a society is try to support one another, instead of tearing each other down. Sorry but I was looking for advice on a situation I'm unsure of, and I do not respond well to scare tactics or passive aggressive judgements.

Yes, if you choose to formula feed for no real reason, you're putting your baby second and you don't value what's best for him or her. It's a proven medical fact, like not smoking during pregnancy is better than smoking.

I will support any mom, but it's not a lifestyle choice to breastfeed or not - it's a health issue for both mom and baby. I happily answer questions about supplementing, about part time breastfeeding, about anything I can help with... but I'm not going to sugar coat that choosing formula without trying to breastfeed is a selfish choice to give your baby a fourth rate food.

And to back this statement up : The AAP's stance on breastfeeding

I would encourage your husband to research the benefits of breastmilk and breastfeeding for mom and baby. In the grand scheme of things, a few weeks is a very short amount of time.

He did, we discussed it and he agrees that breastmilk is best. That wasn't my question.

Rabitt313 · February 2012

AmyG* - Thank you, that was a lot of really good information. I never thought about the colostrum plugging the tubing. Again I'm researching and learning, in the hopes that I make the best decision for everyone. I appreciate your response.

I sent this post to him, so he had more opinions/information to help him. We talked last night, apparently he's been doing his own research. He agrees that breastmilk is best, he thinks that however I do it, its important to get the breastmilk in the baby for the first few weeks. One woman stated that its only another 4 weeks he has to wait, and he said that helped bring things into perspective a bit. He is very supportive, one of my obstacles is the fact that I worry, a lot, about everything. So he calmed me down a bit and said we'll learn as much as we can and we'll give it our best shot, we'll shoot for one week, and then two, and three and we'll go from there. So in the end, we're going to have back-up supplies, like bottles and nipples and what not. But I'm going to give breastfeeding a shot and do the best I can for as long as I can.

tokenhoser · February 2012

Rabitt313:
In the end, you've only insulted me, and if you feel better about yourself for doing so, then good for you.

Oh, honey, if you think I was out to insult you, parenthood is going to be hard on you indeed.

Good luck with your plans, and I hope things are easy for you. It sounds like if they're hard, you're going to quit pretty fast, and that's just too bad for your baby. I dare you to prove me wrong.

Froggy76 · February 2012

Sorry you feel judged by some of our responses... that certainly wasn't my intention, at least. I also stand by my opinion that your H feelings shouldn't be a deciding factor here. BFing is best for your baby and if you are willing to give it a shot it's his job to support you and help you succeed. It sounds like he's on board. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

memo9 · February 2012

AmyG*:
Just do yourself a favor.

Put the "back up supplies" in a box over at the neighbor's house.

Cause it's easy to give up on a bad day, or be sleep deprived and reach for a bottle of formula in the middle of the night and realize that now you are in paid from engorged breasts cause baby won't wake up cause they ate too much and if the stuff was a bit harder to get to, you would have had to take a deep breath and try latching one more time, have a bit more patience and it would work out easier for you without reaching for the bottle.

That is something to consider, if you sign up for formula samples and tell them you plan to breastfeed, you'll get a sample of formula in the mail before baby is born, and at the 1 week growth spurt, 3 week growth spurt, and 6 weeks growth spurt--all planned perfectly to catch you at the hardest times of nursing and have this nice "wonderful" product placement sitting on your kitchen counter when you start to doubt yourself and your ability to provide perfect nutrition for your baby.

Go read the 101 reasons to breastfeed,

and then think to yourself, if I can provide perfect nutrition to grow a baby from a simple set of cells to something living and breathing, then of course I can then continue to nurture it with breastmilk that is made perfect for MY baby. Why would I choose to feed my baby something that is primarily leftover milk products with vitamins and minerals --stuff that closely mimics breastmilk, but just ain't all that. do a google of formula ingredients compared to breastmilk ingredients. Breastmilk contains human growth hormones, so baby grows the way humans are supposed to.   there are some really amazing components of breastmilk that science cannot even begin to duplicate--and the milk changes as baby gets older, it's not just the colostrum that is good stuff-- different ingredients that help to form a baby's immune system continually, the amounts of fats and cholesterol change to meet baby's needs as they get older and their brain matures differently. it's pretty amazing stuff from a biological component.

Interesting, we do everything we can to get certain species colostrum --like cow's colostrum for baby cows or we know they won't live long and will suffer from disease--but we don't think the same way about human colostrum. we think of it as something optional, not something vital.

yes I've been giving breastfeeding advice for 11+ years and I still find all this stuff amazing. I hope you and your husband are able to form a pact to support each other thru this, that sometimes you'll need him to bring you food and change the diaper even if he thinks all you've done all day is sit on your butt holding a baby.  and that sometimes you will need to hand him the baby and walk away so he can try to figure out how to comfort and soothe his baby in his own way even if your mother bear instincts are telling you "he's gonna drop the baby, he's doing it all WRONG."

Remind yourselves that every mom here on these forums have been thru those kinds of things--if they tell you something, stop and listen a bit.  even when you don't like hwat you are hearing. We aren't doing it to be mean or to be insulting. we are doing it out of caring.

Yes Nicely put!

njh514 · February 2012

It seems like you've gotten some pretty real advice here. From your responses it seems as though you've made up your mind. If you want to formula feed, do it. That's a choice that you have the right to make, but around here we *will* be encouraging you to breastfeed and will provide you with any help necessary, even if you're not overly friendly.

My husband is beyond awesome. He wanted to feed the baby and be a huge part of it so he would snuggle up right next to me on the couch while I nursed. I think that made him feel like he had a part in it. He also did everything around the house, took care of our 4 year old son, cooked and cleaned, changed diapers, laundry, you name it, he did it so I could focus on breastfeeding this baby. I pumped 90% of the time with our son and it was a constant struggle. I hated pumping and since I didn't have him on breast enough my supply tanked and we threw in the towel at 9 months. With my daughter she's on breast if we're together. My diet didn't change. I didn't do anything differently other than keep her on the breast AND pump a little bit to relieve engorgement as soon as we got home from the hospital and then 2-3 times a day starting at about 2 weeks to get a good freezer stash going. We're going incredibly strong still at 12 1/2 months. My husband also introduced a bottle at 2 weeks and she practiced about once a day with an ounce or so with a slow flow nipple.

Breastfeeding is best. It's also super easy to be lazy. No bottles to wash. You don't even have to get off of your butt to do anything. It's AWESOME! :-)

So quit with the defensive attitude and get real with it. Care about your husband's feelings but get used to putting the baby first, even above him for a while. It's a big adjustment. I totally get that. You can do it, but you have to own what you do. The guilt will be avoided most effectively by breastfeeding and providing what is medically the best for your tiny little baby. (and beyond)

Rabitt313 · February 2012

There has been a lot of good advice, opinions and suggestions. Many of you have given me more to think about, things to consider. But I'm sorry, I wish more then anything that the focus had stayed more on my actual question then attempting to teach me the benefits of breastmilk over formula. I know what the benefits are, thats why I was trying to figure out a way to do it, keep myself comfortable and include DH. Hence the exclusively pumping question. Yes my husband was and still is a consideration, I'm also a consideration, and so is baby. We're going to be a family, my intention is to do whats best for everyone I'm worried about breastfeeding, so many women say its such a wonderful experience but to me its alien and what if I just can't do it. I worry about everything, I mean everything, and what my intention was when I posted this question was to find out the likelihood of my plan working. Its seems, from what I've read, that I will be making my life more difficult by exclusively pumping. So that leaves breastfeeding or formula feeding. Since I already know how important it is to give the baby breastmilk, and my husband understands as well, we're going to try our best. But I'm sorry if I get defensive when people blatantly tell me that formula feeding my baby will make me a bad mother. I just can't wrap my head around why people do that. I appreciate the helpful advice that I've gotten. As for everything else, its been a learning experience, for sure.

memo9 · February 2012

Rabitt313:
There has been a lot of good advice, opinions and suggestions. Many of you have given me more to think about, things to consider. But I'm sorry, I wish more then anything that the focus had stayed more on my actual question then attempting to teach me the benefits of breastmilk over formula. I know what the benefits are, thats why I was trying to figure out a way to do it, keep myself comfortable and include DH. Hence the exclusively pumping question. Yes my husband was and still is a consideration, I'm also a consideration, and so is baby. We're going to be a family, my intention is to do whats best for everyone I'm worried about breastfeeding, so many women say its such a wonderful experience but to me its alien and what if I just can't do it. I worry about everything, I mean everything, and what my intention was when I posted this question was to find out the likelihood of my plan working. Its seems, from what I've read, that I will be making my life more difficult by exclusively pumping. So that leaves breastfeeding or formula feeding. Since I already know how important it is to give the baby breastmilk, and my husband understands as well, we're going to try our best. But I'm sorry if I get defensive when people blatantly tell me that formula feeding my baby will make me a bad mother. I just can't wrap my head around why people do that. I appreciate the helpful advice that I've gotten. As for everything else, its been a learning experience, for sure.

Not to be super nitpicky, but your original question was

"I'm toying around with this idea of doing both. Without the actual breastfeeding. How realistic is it to exclusively pump and fill in with formula?"

I think we all had the impression that you already planned on formula feeding and pumping. I think the intention of the other posters was to encourage you to breastfeed exclusively if at all possible.

Want a personalized experience?

How realistic is this?

Re: How realistic is this?

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