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Going back to work (vent)

steph0501steph0501 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

I am going back to work on Wednesday.  I work 13-14 hour days three days/week.  MH works 10 hour days 3 days a week.  We have worked out our schedules so that we wont need day care, but we will only have one day per week together.  I am totally thankful that we could do this though, don't get me wrong.  I am just an emotional wreck right now that the day has finally came that I have to go back to work.  I know its terrble, but I kind of find myself resenting DH for not having a  better job so I can go part time.  I feel really bad about it, and I know I only work 3 days/week, but I wont be able to see DS at all on those days.  He will be asleep when I leave and asleep when I get home. 

I am also afraid my marriage may suffer since we will only have 1 day to see eachother/week.  To add on to my frustration, we just sold my car so we could get a bigger one for DS (and future kids).  DH was supposed to have tomorrow off so that we could go buy a new car....he just called me to say that not only will he be late (again) but he has to work tomorrow.  So we will be down to one vehicle. 

I am just frustrated and super emotional about going back to work :(  Needed to vent!

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Re: Going back to work (vent)

  • vaoharavaohara member
    Sorry to hear your going through a rough time but just know we've all (working moms) been there and it gets better. it's like being a kid dreading the first day of school, but once your there it's fine. I work long days too, 24 hour shifts. I do only work 1 a week but sometimes it falls in the week close to another one, like a Friday and Monday. It's hard not seeing LO for 24 hours ( more like 36 hrs bc he goes to bed at 7pm and i dont see him before work) but it's so great when we reconnect and I know he's fine when I'm gone. My husband also works and is in school at night so he too goes 24 hrs wo seeing LO and I try to work weekends so DH and I pretty much only have 1 day a week together as well. It's these times that make your relationship stronger bc you have to enjoy the times together and do things as a family. We just make it work and I'm sure you will too. As far as your resentment about DH not having a better job, at least he has a job and is contributing. The economy sucks and there are many many families out of work and would love to be in your position. Try to remember to thank God for giving you and your DH the opportunity to provide for your family.
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  • steph0501steph0501 member

    Thank you for helping me see there are a lot of people who have it worse.  I sound pretty selfish when I re-read this, but I was having a hard day yesterday accepting going back.  You have helped me feel a little better, so thank you!   

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  • Netty_3Netty_3 member
    What may help your marriage is not to resent your husband...try not to at least.  Make the most of the time you guys have together and remember it's probably not ideal for him either.  Gratitude and words of encouragement will keep it good.  Something 9+ happy years of marriage has taught me.
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  • steph0501steph0501 member

    imageNetty_3:
    What may help your marriage is not to resent your husband...try not to at least.  Make the most of the time you guys have together and remember it's probably not ideal for him either.  Gratitude and words of encouragement will keep it good.  Something 9+ happy years of marriage has taught me.

    I agree.  I am not proud of the fact that I feel this way sometimes.  I think it is because he talks about quitting his job or going down to two days/week and I fully support him if it would make him happy.  I couldn't cut my hours because I make quite a bit more.  I never express this to him, I love him very much.  I just think that sometimes I carry a lot of our financial weight and sometimes I feel the pressure.  Thank you for the advice!!

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  • celiabwatsonceliabwatson
    My husband and I have had the one day/week together schedule for the last 6 years. It's only over now because I decided to stay home after having #2. It sucks in some ways but we tried to look on the bright side. For us it was that when we each had our day off without the other we used it for cleaning and errands etc so that when we had our day together we could focus on spending time together. It was also really easy to have "me time" once a week (harder once we had kids). 
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  • mamaZbomamaZbo member

    Sorry things are so tough. Hopefully once you are in a routine it won't seem quite as bad. I can relate to your situation...My DH said bye to DD this afternoon until Thursday morning. He works 4am to 11am and 4pm till 9pm, so he is gone when she gets up and goes to bed. I do 99% of all bedtime activities and when he tries on the one day a week he is home in the evening she screams and gets handed back to me. I hear you on sometimes feeling a little resentment towards DH. I try my best to be thankful he wants to work two jobs, but I can't help wishing we had evenings together. He usually has two days off during the week for the morning job, so at least he gets quality time with DD those days. I get her on the weekend and one day every other week. Family time seems non-existent.

    Being a working mom stinks sometimes, but I do think it makes the time DD and I have together count. The anticipation of going back to work was way worse than actually going back, so after the first week it won't seem quite as bad. Hopefully you will be able to find time to go car shopping soon, so you won't feel stranded. Good luck!

     

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