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June 2012 Moms
Second time mom baby shower?
Do any second time mom's have any input on having a baby shower for the new baby to be? This is my second baby and I have had several coworkers asking me if anyone is having a shower for me. I haven't had anyone offer so far and I don't think it is expected to have one but it would be nice! I would like to celebrate this baby with some kind of gathering. My family and friends threw me 3 showers with my first. I actually threw a diaper shower for my BFF when she had her second. I am hormonal after all and I keep thinking that no one seems to care as much about the "second" baby and it kind of hurts my feelings. Am I crazy?
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Re: Second time mom baby shower?
I seriously would not expect anything. It's not usual to receive a shower for a second child. Be grateful you got THREE showers with your first, some people don't even get one!
Showers are not necessarily celebrating the child, but more the "new momma". If you want to throw a celebration for the new baby then throw it after he or she is born with a backyard BBQ or something NOT requesting any sort of gifts.
After three showers what else could you possibly need besides diapers? I had one tiny shower with my first child, maybe 8 people attended. There isn't a single thing I need for baby #2 except another crib and diapers. Single mom and still more than happy to buy that stuff myself.
Not a 2nd time mom, but am a friend to many 2nd time mommas. I am planning a shower for a friend who is having her 2nd in April. Her 1st was a boy and now she is having a girl. She has everything she needs for the new baby except clothing and diapers. So, we are showering her with those things. I also had a cousin who's children were 8 years apart. We threw her a shower since she didn't have mot of the things she needed any longer, because she gave them to other relatives having babies, and the fact that safety things had changed.
If your LOs will be close in age, and especially if they are the same gender, I would expect anything or at least not anything really huge.
It would be incredibly unusual for someone in my area to have a shower for the 2nd baby. The only time I've seen it done is when there is a significant gap between children (like 7+ years) or when it's a "oops baby" and they've already gotten rid of everything.
I would try not to take it personally or see it as a slight to #2. I'm actually happy to have the reduced focus and attention this time. I think the time is actually going faster, since people aren't all over me with questions every 10 seconds.
As for making sure the baby is celebrated, we'll probably host a small gathering a few weeks after LO gets home. I've told DH, I really don't want a ton of visitors the first week, like we had with #1. It was just too much with the c-section recovery.