May 2012 Moms

Baby shower guest list question

A family friend is throwing one of my showers and wants a guest list from me.  I have a lot of good friends from college and post-college that I'm still really close with, but they live very far away (I live in Iowa, and many of them are in Ohio, California, Colorado, etc).  I would never expect them to actually come here for a shower, and I'm wondering if it just looks gift-grabby to invite them?  Thoughts?

Re: Baby shower guest list question

  • I would also typically say no as well... however my cousin who lives in CA sent me an invite to their shower (she is due 2 weeks before me) - soooo i sent them back one (as well as a gift) in response!  LOL  I guess it depends how close you are as well!  You dont want them to feel hurt that they weren't invited too.

    good luck! 

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  • I think its really up to you...

    are you really really close to them? like, talk to them all the time... etc.

    My sister lives in cali, and me in nebraska, obviously i'd send her one anyways since she is my sister, but even though I know she wont be there for it... I think the gesture is nice. and if they want to get you something and ship it to you, they have your info.

    Maybe write each of the out of state guests a little note saying you are aware that they will most likely not make it since they are out of state, but just wanted to let them know whats going on, and have the person who is mailing them out, put that into their envelope.

    GL with it. 

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  • I invited out of state people, Even though I know they probably can't make it I wanted them to feel included. And I was surprised that someone from Denver and someone from Toronto are actually flying in for it (I live in CT). I think people know you're just excited and want to share that excitement, especially if you're close friends.
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  • I think it really depends on how close you are to them.  I invited my college roommates - one is in NYC and one is in Atlanta - not really expecting either one to make it, but I wanted them to know they were invited. I don't think "wow she is gift grabby" when I get an invitation to an out of town shower if I'm close to the bride or mom to be.
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  • I have a lot of friends from college that live in town and I didn't invite them.  I only invited my closest friends because A.) I didn't want a huge shower and B.) I didn't want to seem greedy and have them feel pressured to get me a gift.

    A friend of mine, on the other hand, invited friends from HS who she hasn't seen in years.  I don't think that's really a good way to go about it but oh well!

  • With DH and I, all of our family lives out of state except my mom and dad. I ended up sending more out of state invites then in state invites. Just because they're all family. My aunt actually flew in for the weekend just for my shower. It was very special to have her here. So as far as friends go, it depends on how close you are to them. If you decide not to send shower invites I would make sure to send them baby announcements (if you're doing that). That way they can still send you things if they choose and get a cute pic of LO.

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