baptism questions?

NewlywedInNewYork · February 2012

Hi all - I am sure I am not the first person to be overwhelmed by baby baptism stuff and I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

Our parish requires that the godparents (both of whom are not local) attend godparenting classes in their respective cities and then get the proof of completion from those classes faxed in before we can even schedule a baptism date. They also have to have letters from their own parishes sent in saying that they are practicing Catholics, etc, and we have to take a parents' baptism class, but I have no issue with that.

I am just uncomfortable with the idea of having the godparents take classes, especially when many (most?) parishes do not require this and I KNOW it's going to be a total pain for both of them. When you add in the fact that there is a time crunch - that they have to complete these classes ASAP so we can schedule the baptism date - I just feel like it's asking a lot of them.

Does anyone know of a Catholic church that baptizes non parishioners and also doesn't require this class? What have other people done in this scenario? I can't imagine that we are the first couple to have an issue with this requirement, but who knows!

umdbride · February 2012

I don't have any experience with that, but it does seem like a lot to require of the godparents. Could you let your parish know that the godparents are not local and although you can get letters from their parishes, their parishes do not offer godparenting classes. Maybe your parish can offer an alternative - such as sending materials to you for the godparents to read and confirm to their parish or yours that they read it?

ch ch ch chia · February 2012

St. Matthew's cathedral doesn't require the classes... but, they do require at least one godparent to be a practicing Catholic. My BIL was denied godparent-dom for our neice, because he wasn't really in good standing with any church.

(I'm basing this on my BIL/SIL's experience, not my own... so, take it with a grain of salt...)

otoro98 · February 2012

Our Lady Queen of Peace in Arlington requested that the parents go to a brief one hour session, and said godparents, grandparents, etc were welcome but not required. We were asked to share the information/guidance with them (both of our god parents are out of towners...) Hope this helps!

NewlywedInNewYork · February 2012

Thanks guys!

I have already gone to our church and asked if there is any kind of alternative we can do because they are out of town (one is even in his last semester of college!), etc, and no dice. They are super strict!

I just checked out St. Matthew's website and it looks like they want you to be parishioners or have some tie to the church.. which we do not. That would have been great though!!

I think the practicing Catholic thing is pretty standard.. I am not totally sure how they can measure that but I hope my chosen godparents won't have a problem! I mean they were both confirmed,etc.. we shall see If anyone else has any ideas, please send them my way!

amh_navyblue · February 2012

For both of our DDs, we had godparents from out of town, so I get where you are coming from with the coordination piece.

The basic requirements for godparents for Catholic baptism is that they have to be a practicing Catholic in "good standing" at a parish. You only have to have one godparent, so you really only have to have one person go through the paperwork to verify their standing with the Catholic Church.

How this gets verified and implemented varies by parish and the approach of the pastor. In the most laid back of circumstances, the godparents you have chosen would just have to get a letter from the parish where they are registered that confirms they are registered there (usually a form letter)...it can be a bit of a pain, but I think that this basic requirement makes sense since part of the baptism is asking for the godparents support in raising the child in the Catholic faith, thus the interest in having some verification that one godparent is Catholic.

If the parish requires that the godparent(s) take classes, in most cases parishes have regularly scheduled classes (it's usually a one-time thing for an hour or two), so it's not a huge commitment of time.

But like I said, much of how this gets implemented totally depends on the pastor at a particular parish. What general area are you located? The Arlington Diocese tends to be more conservative and more of a pain about these things...but the parish we go to in Vienna has been pretty easy to deal with. In DC, I would imagine that it might be a bit easier to find a parish that would be more flexible--at very minimum would let you schedule the baptism without having all the paperwork completed (that seems pretty silly to me!).

NewlywedInNewYork · February 2012

Sorry, wrote back before seeing that last one! Will check out Our Lady Queen of Peace

Thank you!

otoro98 · February 2012

Also, I think by canon law, only ONE godparent has to be Catholic...

NewlywedInNewYork · February 2012

I keep writing back before seeing the latest responses.. ahh! Thank you so much for that explanation.. that does make sense to me. I guess if they (or at minimum, one of them) has to take classes it would not be the end of the world, it's just hard to coordinate and I think being out of town just adds another dimension... but we'll get it done if need be

Our parish is in the Diocese of Arlington which might explain a bit? We are in Alexandria. I agree that DC might be more flexible.. I had no idea I was so late with all of this, I feel like a slacker!

amh_navyblue · February 2012

I had to laugh when you said you had no idea you were so late with all of this...in my family baptisms are done as soon as possible (I was 3 weeks old when I was baptized...I think my sister may have been 2 weeks old), so with DD#1 I was all about getting the baptism scheduled early on. We lived in Miami at the time and I quickly realized that we were the "odd" couple...the form I filled out asked for the kid's name and date of birth (had to leave that blank obviously lol) because most Latinos wait until the kiddo is around 1 year old to do the baptism. And at our class we were the only parents who didn't already have a kid...it was pretty comical when they had everyone do introductions at the beginning of class and everyone else was introducing themselves and their kids...I just pointed to my bump;)

Also, just to add I have heard great things about Our Lady Queen of Peace--my guess is you'll have no trouble getting things set up there.

northernvabride · February 2012

While our church, in the NOVA suburbs, but in the Diocese of Arlington, did not require the class for godparents (just for us), they said any godparent had to be a Catholic in good standing, not just one. Not sure if that was really true based on what PP said, but that is what they told us. DH is Catholic and I am not, and he couldn't come up with 2 practicing Catholics in our generation, so MIL is the godparent. That is a slight sticking point with me of course, since it means my MIL gets a special honor over my mom, but it was the only option if we wanted to get the girls bapitsed, which was really important to DH. This is always such a tricky thing, I hope you figure out something easy.

mbss · February 2012

We had DD baptized at St Anns (our church) in Arlington. You can have one Catholic godparent & Christian witness. I don't believe both have to be Catholic if you have a CW so you might want to clarify with your parish. We were also asked to share info and literarure but no formal class. It was a wonderful experience and the parish office is very helpful. Good luck!

smacb · February 2012

We baptized our son at St. Luke's in Mclean and we will be baptizing this baby in another NOVA Catholic Church. I think you'll have a hard time getting the baptism done in a parish where you aren't a member (that's a pretty standard requirement). As far as the class, many parishes require it. At St. Luke's, the godparents didn't need to attend the class, just the parents. The godparents just needed a letter. The class is pretty painless. It was 30 minutes, right after mass and involved a video and a handout. I'd have them try and schedule the class. If they can't get it done right away, then I'd start looking into other things. Most parishes offer the class or some kind of substitute. It's a pretty standard requirement.

EKJin DC · February 2012

We baptized our kids at St. Agnes in Arlington. The godparents had to provide the letter of verification but no classes. For each kid we had a practicing Catholic and Christian witness. I think you have to wait six weeks after you register before you can baptise your child. I overheard them telling another couple at the class I attended. That could work for your timeline. Good luck.

P.S. I have heard that St. Rita's and St. Mary's are two of the more conservative churches in the Diocese of Arlington- don't know if one of those is the church you are dealing with,

MrsNJSwimmer · February 2012

NewlywedInNewYork:

Does anyone know of a Catholic church that baptizes non parishioners and also doesn't require this class? What have other people done in this scenario? I can't imagine that we are the first couple to have an issue with this requirement, but who knows!

check out https://www.gs-cc.org/aboutus.php (Good Shepherd Catholic Church) They make it pretty easy.

baptism specific page: https://www.gs-cc.org/sacraments-baptism.php

Hey Jellisy · February 2012

Which parish do you go to? Have you tried meeting with the priest or are you just talking to the staff person? Can you ask what would substitute for a class if they are not offered at the godparents church. Perhaps the godparents meeting their pastor and the pastor sending a letter would satisfy the requirement. We've baptised both of our children at Holy Trinity in Georgetown and the requirement was that the parents take the class. For each child we've had one Catholic godparent and one Christian witness. I would call one or two other nearby Catholic churches if you cannot find some accommodation with your parish and your godparents cannot complete the requirement. I understand St. Charles Borromeo in Arlington is pretty accommodating. I know a lot of folks who like Blessed Sacrament as well.

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