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January 2012 Moms
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DTD Blues

faeriequeeneonwowfaeriequeeneonwow
in January 2012 Moms

Am I the only one who doesn't want to DTD? It's so hard to switch out of "mommy mode" when I have any down time, and when I have the down time I want to sleep, take a hot shower, of spend 15 minutes online while I eat an uninterrupted meal. It doesn't help that I'm having some major self-image issues over my extra stomach skin from two pregnancies within two years and being generally "out-of-shape".

During pregnancy I was rarely up to DTD, and when we did I was so uncomfortable and sometimes in pain (dryness and tightness, sorry TMI) that I would end up crying my eyes out because it would get me so upset. DH finally got it in his head to stop asking because it just led to too much trouble.

Last week we were able to get things started up again, but have still been having the same issues and lube isn't helping. Since then DH has been practically begging me every day to DTD and then gets mad when I say no, or I agree and things end in frustration. Every time DH tries to start something I want to either scream or cry. I try to talk to DH about it, but he doesn't really get it Crying

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Re: DTD Blues

  • jnk062602jnk062602

    With dd I was pretty scared because of the tearing I had.  And it was every bit as bad as I imagined it would be Sad.  Once I started on a hormone cream it got better though. Are you bfing?  If so and you have extreme dryness and pain, you may want to ask your OB about it.

    This time I have no worries bc DH is adament that we won't be having sex until after his V.  And he hasn't scheduled it yet, so I'm good for a while!

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  • michelle_1221michelle_1221 member
    Me too, but I know it's not fair to DH. I had a c, so planning to wait until 8 weeks.
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  • talitha712talitha712 member
    We haven't dtd yet because as of my appointment last week I still had a stitch that hadn't dissolved and my OB told me to wait a couple more weeks.  Fine with me, since the thought of anything going in there scares me (my first pp period started Saturday and I'm using pads...yeah, other than for my pp bleeding I haven't used those since 8th grade).  But DH and I have done some other stuff over the last few weeks.  Maybe you and your DH could start there?  At least it would be something.  And then maybe you could work your way back up to dtd?

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  • SoonToBeMsPSoonToBeMsP member
    Not alone! I am not a fan of the idea of anything going in there right now... And sadly I have no sex drive because DH has offered to do "external only". Poor guy :(
    DD 1.18.2012
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  • HuahineHuahine member

    Ever since I started breastfeeding, I have been having trouble imagining my breasts as ever being an erogenous zone again.  So I figured if having sex was going to be at all good for me when we get cleared for it, I should make sure that one of my erogenous zones was functioning.  So I tried to take care of business on my own the other day.  Nada.  Nothing.  No response.  Physically, I'm dead down there. It is so depressing.

    But . . . and this is the only thing that gives me any hope at all . . . recently my husband kissed me, really kissed me (not the standard thanks-for-being-a-good-mom kiss that I've been getting lately but a real kiss), and I felt something stir in my lady business.  I might not be dead after all. 

    But I know now that if sex is ever again going to be any fun for me at all, I'm going to have to be mentally into it.  It won't be enough to start physically and hope the brain shifts over into sex mode. 

    The wooing is going to have to come first. And being begged to put out does not count as wooing. 

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  • SoonToBeMsPSoonToBeMsP member
    imageHuahine:
    But I know now that if sex is ever again going to be any fun for me at all, I'm going to have to be mentally into it.  It won't be enough to start physically and hope the brain shifts over into sex mode. 

    This is what I am worried about. Sometimes I am just not in the mood but I go for it anyway (and end up enjoying it, of course...). I guess I'll let DH woo me from now on! 

    DD 1.18.2012
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  • kmchavez82kmchavez82 member
    imageHuahine:

    Ever since I started breastfeeding, I have been having trouble imagining my breasts as ever being an erogenous zone again.  So I figured if having sex was going to be at all good for me when we get cleared for it, I should make sure that one of my erogenous zones was functioning.  So I tried to take care of business on my own the other day.  Nada.  Nothing.  No response.  Physically, I'm dead down there. It is so depressing.

    But . . . and this is the only thing that gives me any hope at all . . . recently my husband kissed me, really kissed me (not the standard thanks-for-being-a-good-mom kiss that I've been getting lately but a real kiss), and I felt something stir in my lady business.  I might not be dead after all. 

    But I know now that if sex is ever again going to be any fun for me at all, I'm going to have to be mentally into it.  It won't be enough to start physically and hope the brain shifts over into sex mode. 

    The wooing is going to have to come first. And being begged to put out does not count as wooing. 

     LOL!!! I completely agree!

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