stress, stress, go away (more vent than anything)
I know I'm not alone in this, particularly on this board where so many mamas are first-timers at our ripe old advanced ages! I started this pregnancy thinking it was impossible, because we'd never gotten a BFP before so this one must be a fluke. Once confirmed, I spent the next several weeks stressing over whether baby's heart was beating, and once THAT was confirmed, stressing over whether it had stopped beating.
Thank goodness, up til now, all is well. I haven't had a doppler since 2/11 but I'm starting to feel more confident that baby is a-ok in there, flopping about like a sea lion (that's how it looked to me on u/s) and growing. I can't see any bump because I am too overweight, but I can feel it and I know baby is in there.
Now I'm 5 days away from the NY bar exam, which I signed up to take before I knew I was pregnant. I have been studying for the past 2 months but I have always been a crammer and so now the reality (and the overwhelming stress) has settled in. I'm not sure if I'm more stressed about the exam itself, or the very real possibility that I will fail, because the next time it's given (end of July), I will be about 37 weeks pregnant. I do NOT want to deal with this much stress that close to my due date!
I really don't want the stress to have a negative impact on baby. How do you guys handle extreme stress (recognizing that taking a day off, massage, etc. is not an option at this time)?
Re: stress, stress, go away (more vent than anything)
oh I am so sorry about all of your stress! I went college and worked full time and had a 2 year old when I was pregnant with my son, However I was 22 at the time... I can't remember s#!* this time and feel incompetent to even handle my day to day regular work. I don't know how you are hanging in there facing the bar exam!!!
Ok, so deep breathing techniques and reassure yourself, that if you fail this time you will have another chance to take it. Dont look to where your stress will be in the future, its not here yet and you don't have to worry about it yet. We only have to face today. Also remind yourself of all the accomplishments you have already met. You got pregnant (you kicked infertilities butt)! your baby is healthy and kicking, and now, thanks to all of your hard work you will do well on this test (mantra's like that and letting yourself try to feel confident do actually help) I will be thinking about you and I know you can do it.
Best of luck to you
When I feel stressed and/or overwhelmed, I try to break down whatever the stressor is into individual, mentally digestible parts. For example, instead of thinking of walking 500 miles, I would imagine that I was instead walking 1 mile *a few* (500) times. That is exactly what I did for the bar exam, both in terms of each subject for the multi-state and the writing portions, and each phase of the bar (we had 3 different phases: a practical (written exercise), the the state-specific essay exam (in Georgia they include all the multi-state subjects and the state-specific subjects for the written exam), and the multi-state exam). That was 5 years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday! :P
You're going to do great! Really, the best advice is to tackle one question at a time, stay focused, and when you move on to the next question, move on mentally, too. Oh, and I definitely agree with what the pp said, i.e., for you, this exam is your 10 meter target, so to speak. Right now, it is the only target in your field of view (the 100 meter target would be the July exam, but we are not worried about that right now!). Just like walking a mile, it takes one step at a time, one day at a time, one question at a time. Good Luck! and (((hugs)))
I'm going to second what PP's have said. I'm not a lawyer, but I do work full time, go to school 1/2 time, and I have a 3.5 yo and DH at home. I'm finding that doing school work in small doses helps me tackle my assignments (where as I usually just do it all at once, but I'm so tired I can't focus long enough.) I've heard the bar exam is extremely difficult, but concentrate on one topic at a time, and you will get through it. Schedule you study time too. How many topics do you have to cover, and how many days to you have left to study. Set goals like "Mon-Wednesday I'll study topics X,Y, and Z) and on Thursday move on. If you can get ahead, awesome (use the extra days to review topics you found most challenging), but don't force it. By test date, you'll have covered everything.
Practice breathing techniques too. just close your eyes and breathe deep...in through your nose, and out through your mouth. 10x should be enough to settle your nerves. and it actually helps me through my queasy moments too.
Good luck!
Thank you ladies! I am trying to stay focused and you're all right about keeping my sights set on the immediate goal without worrying about the "what if" goal. I remember the stress setting in when I sat for the FL bar 8 years ago, but I'm so concerned that the stress will adversely affect baby so it's an added stress!
Adi - I would LOVE to try the breathing techniques ... if I could breathe through my stuffy nose, that might just help! All reports are that the stuffiness is going to get worse though
I think you'll find your second bar (even though its in a harder state) will be MUCH easier than your first. I speak from experience, I took my first in 2000 and my second in 2006 at a time when I had just been laid off (a week prior to the exam), and my grandma, who I was really, really close to also passed a week before my exam. You'll be fine, you know what to expect, you've done it before and you're going to ROCK IT! Best of luck!! Do try to focus on your short term goal as pp have suggested, no point in worrying about July RIGHT NOW, kwim?
I HATE my neti pot. It makes me gag! But it has been such terrible stuffiness, off and on, that I'm contemplating picking it up again. Trash tv works for me too, but I like primetime soaps - I'm a CW junkie!
Thank you pps about the second bar confidence! I have NOT been in practice AT ALL since FL bar. Let's just law school was a means to an end... which worked out great, until it didn't. So the NY practice stuff is totally throwing me because I remember NOTHING about procedure rules ... but in a way that's good because I don't have the handicap of thinking to myself, "but in FL we do this instead." Right? Right????
I HATE my neti pot. It makes me gag! But it has been such terrible stuffiness, off and on, that I'm contemplating picking it up again. Trash tv works for me too, but I like primetime soaps - I'm a CW junkie!
Thank you pps about the second bar confidence! I have NOT been in practice AT ALL since FL bar. Let's just law school was a means to an end... which worked out great, until it didn't. So the NY practice stuff is totally throwing me because I remember NOTHING about procedure rules ... but in a way that's good because I don't have the handicap of thinking to myself, "but in FL we do this instead." Right? Right????
I am under HUGE work stress at the moment, and have just found out that I'm pregnant. I lost my previous two pregnancies, and can't help thinking the miscarriages (esp the second one) were connected to the stress.
So, now that I am pregnant again, I am trying really hard to stay unstressed. Something that is helping is knowing what my priorities are. Yes, I want to do the best job I can, and stay professional and not let people down, BUT my priority is my health and my baby. In terms of work, I will do what I can reasonably do in a day, but I will not compromise my health to do more than that.
Good luck, OP - with the exam and your pregnancy!