Don't know if this would be the right board..... — The Bump
Adoption

Don't know if this would be the right board.....

Is this board just for people who are looking to adopt children, or also for people who are giving up babies? After this LO I'd like to be a surrogate, and while I know it's not the same thing, I would like to talk to some people who may have been in a similar situation. I don't see any other boards that would be remotely close to this.

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Re: Don't know if this would be the right board.....

  • We do have a few birth mothers who post from time to time on this board, so I'd agree that this is probably the best fit for you, but you might not get a lot of support or advice from others who have been in your situation.
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  • image GnomeSweetGnome:
    We do have a few birth mothers who post from time to time on this board, so I'd agree that this is probably the best fit for you, but you might not get a lot of support or advice from others who have been in your situation.

    That's kinda what I figured but it was worth a shot. Thanks!

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  • I think surrogacy is a far stretch from making an adoption plan(preferred term to "giving up a baby").

    A good resource for surrogacy is surromomsonline.com   I also have a neice that is a surro (she's pregnant with her second surrobaby).  If you are serious about a discussion, I am sure she'd be happy to talk more to you :)

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  • image silliestbunny:

    I think surrogacy is a far stretch from making an adoption plan(preferred term to "giving up a baby").

    A good resource for surrogacy is surromomsonline.com   I also have a neice that is a surro (she's pregnant with her second surrobaby).  If you are serious about a discussion, I am sure she'd be happy to talk more to you :)

    Thank you! I hadn't heard of that site before. I do know that "giving up a baby" is really not the same thing, but the adoption board was the closest I could find. I actually would love to talk to your niece to get her input on it.

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  • image kg_08:
    image silliestbunny:

    I think surrogacy is a far stretch from making an adoption plan(preferred term to "giving up a baby").

    A good resource for surrogacy is surromomsonline.com   I also have a neice that is a surro (she's pregnant with her second surrobaby).  If you are serious about a discussion, I am sure she'd be happy to talk more to you :)

    Thank you! I hadn't heard of that site before. I do know that "giving up a baby" is really not the same thing, but the adoption board was the closest I could find. I actually would love to talk to your niece to get her input on it.

    What *silliest* was trying to point out: "giving up a baby" is not a term that should be used. It does not express what adoption is really about and undermines birthmothers excruciating decision to make an adoption plan. The proper term is "making an adoption plan" not "giving up a baby". 

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  • image inlovewithB:
    image kg_08:
    image silliestbunny:

    I think surrogacy is a far stretch from making an adoption plan(preferred term to "giving up a baby").

    A good resource for surrogacy is surromomsonline.com   I also have a neice that is a surro (she's pregnant with her second surrobaby).  If you are serious about a discussion, I am sure she'd be happy to talk more to you :)

    Thank you! I hadn't heard of that site before. I do know that "giving up a baby" is really not the same thing, but the adoption board was the closest I could find. I actually would love to talk to your niece to get her input on it.

    What *silliest* was trying to point out: "giving up a baby" is not a term that should be used. It does not express what adoption is really about and undermines birthmothers excruciating decision to make an adoption plan. The proper term is "making an adoption plan" not "giving up a baby". 

    I'm sorry, I know I'm not a regular on this board but I really felt compelled to respond to this.  I realize that "making an adoption plan" is the agreed upon term used by adoption professionals in an attempt to be respectful to birthmothers but as a birthmother I find the term outrageously offensive and have always said that I "gave my daughter up for adoption".  In my mind, saying you "made a plan" completely brushes over the actual act of relinquishing your child and, again, in my opinion, simply adds to the shame a lot of people place on you as birth mother.  It's almost as if the decision you made was so horrible it can't even be said out loud.  I know that this is just my opinion and a lot of people disagree with me but since the majority of the posters on this board are adoptive moms I wanted to put this perspective out there as I know there a lot of birthmothers who feel the same way.  I think the best way to determine what terminology to use is to follow the birthmother's lead.

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