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Major anxiety

bio-oeschbio-oesch member
in Two Under 2
I've always wanted kids close in age and am so excited to have baby #2 soon. However, these last couple of days I've been freaking out that DD will be sad or upset :( I worry about her staying overnight away from me, i'm a sahm so we're always together. I figure my parents will bring her to meet DS and see me and I am really hoping DS is born early morning and we can go home that evening.

 

I'm having seperation anxiety and also worried about her freaking when we bring DS home. She LOVES babys and dolls and I think the main issue will be that she wants to hold him, help do things, and then get sick of me holding him.

I'm guessing these are all normal feelings, but I just feel like a bad mom and don't want DD to feel neglected, but also want to bond and connect with DS.

Any advice to help calm my nerves? I knew this was coming, but I am feeling so overwhelmed with my emotions right now.

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Re: Major anxiety

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    bio-oeschbio-oesch member
    And now i'm feeling bad like I'm not thinking of DS :( oh man... I guess i'm not so concerned about him bc he's not used to constant one on one attention like DD is so nothing will be changing for him. Except of course becoming an outside baby and all that comes with that. Idk i'm just having hormone issues I guess. I have been carefree and excited this whole pregnancy and now all of a sudden I am over thinking everything and freaking out...
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    penguinempenguinem member
    I don't have 2u2, but I experienced all of those feelings with the birth of my son three weeks ago. I'm not going to lie; it's been a hard adjustment as far as DD goes. She is a little over 2.5 and is very anxious about all of the ways her life has changed. I certainly went through a struggle the first week feeling sad about "losing" the three of us and I had a meltdown yesterday that ended in me saying, "I want my daughter back!" because she is acting so different. HOWEVER, she did great with my parents while we were at the hospital, and she has been an amazing big sister. None of the stress has been directed towards baby; she is loving and caring and that has been so beautiful to watch. I called a friend crying after a few days saying I was afraid I'd ruined Dd's life...ha!... And she said, "no. Her life will be forever enhanced because you gave her a sibling". I love that though and tell myself that frequently. After three weeks, things are getting better and better. I think my little family will survive, and so will yours! Just try your best to soak up the last days of having DD at home without a sibling for you; I had an early delivery and didn't get my week before delivery off work as planned to be with DD. Good luck!
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    sometimesalwayschaoticsometimesalwayschaotic member
    I feel you!  We are due just about the same time.  I am so worried about leaving DD overnight with someone.  Unfortunately we have no family anywhere close.  I was hoping somehow my mom would come but she recently had to have surgery and that is no longer a possibility.  I have one lady who volunteered to watch her.  She doesn't know this lady.  I am so worried because DD can't even stay in the nursery during my MOPS meeting.  She is screaming about 5 min. after I leave her.  She has never stayed the night away from me.  I think it's very normal to have all of these feelings.  It's so hard with all of the unknowns.  From what I've read on here, it always goes more smoothly than you think it will.  I just hope that is the case with me and you!  Just remember, you have the baby is a short time.  Even if your DD has a hard time, it's such a short time and then you'll be back.  Also, most kids transition fairly quickly and then they can't imagine life without their sibling.  I also hear that the younger you bring in a sibling, the easier it is on the older one.  There is hope in that statement for sure!  Good luck with everything!
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    HurricaneSarahHurricaneSarah
    I feel ya!  I had little brother on New Years Eve and everyday is still about adapting. Just be sure to take time for both of them individually everyday.  For Big brother I give him his bath before bed and read him a few stories.  It's half an hour and it's such a great time for both of us.  It will be a big adjustment, but already I am seeing an improvement in the overall mood in the house.  Best of luck!
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