Navy wife seeking advice — The Bump
Military Families

Navy wife seeking advice

  Our first PCS is coming up in just over a week.  DH is in California, and will not be granted leave for this.  So I will be driving cross country with my toddler to our duty station.  We have the movers scheduled, pretty much, but they will be calling sometime next week to go over how the move is going to work.  I was wondering if I am supposed to be doing anything to prepare for them?  A lot of my stuff is already in boxes since I moved to this house two months ago(long story), and thought it was pointless to unpack.  Should I unpack the boxes for them?  Leave them as is?

  We also have a scheduling conflict which I am freaking out over.  Housing told us to be there on the 9th at 1000 to sign for the house and pay, but since I can't leave until the evening of the 5th at the earliest and I'm going from east coast to west coast(with a toddler!), there is absolutely no way I could make that.  Housing is 15 minutes from the base, and my husband does not have his own vehicle, and we also have no idea what his schedule will be.  I am getting really stressed out about all of this, but I feel like there is literally nothing I can do...

  Any advice is greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advance.

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Re: Navy wife seeking advice

  • Why is your H not getting leave. He is allowed 10days I believe to help his family move. (at least in the Army).  I would tell him to go up his chain of command to get it figured out.  Also why can't your H go sign and pay for housing? He can ask someone to help him or get a cab.

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  •   From the way it was explained to me, they cut his orders when he got out of boot, and they scheduled his leave for between A school and C school.  Originally he was told that he could use his transitional leave from A to C school for after C school, but it turned out he was only allowed to use it after A school.

      He called the LPO of his command at the new duty station and asked about leave, and he told DH that the possibility of him being granted leave was slim and none, especially with him being new to the command.  Apparently, DH would have to go to the command first, put in a chit for leave, and wait for it to be approved.  Unfortunately, after the 7th(his report-by date), I will not have a place to stay unless I shack up in a hotel.  But I don't want to wait around when his chit will likely be denied. 

      As far as signing and paying for housing, we have no idea what his schedule will be.  I know he can get a taxi, or possibly a ride, but I wasn't sure if they would have him on duty or something that day.  He said he would call the housing office tomorrow to ask what they would suggest in the event that he couldn't make it at that time.  I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill when it comes to the housing, because I'm sure there are scheduling conflicts all the time...this is all just very new to me.

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  • This sounds a lot like our 1st move.  I did it alone and DH couldn't get time off to help. When it comes to what you need to do to prepare the moving company should tell you when they call.   Every company is different so just ask them if they want you to unpack boxes, what you should do to prepare, etc.

    When we had to sign off on our housing DH was able to tell his chain of command and one of the guys actually drove him over to the house (it was off-base) and sat there and waited for DH to be done.  Have him check to see if that is a possibility.  If it isn't (which I wouldn't imagine that one of his guys wouldn't be able to do that for him) why not have him rent a car (like Enterprise) where they can come pick him up wherever he is located.  Many bases have rental car companies located on-base, just goggle it.

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  • The navy does give 10 days for move (we didn't use that much) DH flew back to get back to work and I drove up myself with the pets then. I am not sure that they can deny the leave CHIT. Tell him to ask his section officer. If he doesn't know his schedule that day to sign the papers what he SHOULD do is communicate with his section leader asap that he has to go sign the papers that day as his wife and child are driving cross country and will not arrive in time. Take a taxi to sign the papers and get back to work (no big deal). 

    Don't stress. Take your time. I wouldn't unpack the boxes but LABEL them clearly. You may have to sign something to release the movers of liability if anything breaks inside them. You can just open the boxes and direct the movers to unpack and repack the boxes if they want to to cover yourself.

    You'll be fine. Don't stress. Do you have a job to show up to and start working? If not just relax, you will be fine. If I were driving cross country I'd take my time with toddler and sight see a little. If you get there early it's also ok to stay in a hotel.

    I do recommend to take ALL of your jewelry with you and when you pack the car for the cross country drive make sure you leave more than enough room for comfort. I'm infamous for overpacking the car and then being uncomfortable. 

     

    Hope this helps. 

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  • It is an instruction that he is allowed ten days house hunting leave upon arrival, especially if he has a family. So, as far as that his chain of command is being difficult and jerks because he is straight out of school. Tell him to not let them treat him that way. 

    Also, he should have a sponsor? Does he? If you want to tell me what command he is going to I can do some research and look up his Sponsorship Coordinator or Ombudsman. This is what I do in the Navy so this is how each command should operate if they're following instruction. His sponsor should be taking him around if he has appointments (lease signing) and it is his job as a sponsor.

    As far as the boxes, leave them and the moving company will decide what to do with them but always keep a close eye on them! 

    Let me know if you have any other questions. 

  • image jbuerer:

    It is an instruction that he is allowed ten days house hunting leave upon arrival, especially if he has a family. So, as far as that his chain of command is being difficult and jerks because he is straight out of school. Tell him to not let them treat him that way. 

     
    Uh, I don't think that would go over well. If he thinks he's being treated unfairly, he should ask his direct supervisor for advice about making your move as smooth as possible. If you "tell him to not let them treat him that way" he will be marked as "that" troop, and you will be "that" spouse.

    image jbuerer:
     

    Also, he should have a sponsor? Does he? If you want to tell me what command he is going to I can do some research and look up his Sponsorship Coordinator or Ombudsman. This is what I do in the Navy so this is how each command should operate if they're following instruction. His sponsor should be taking him around if he has appointments (lease signing) and it is his job as a sponsor.

    OP, if you decide to take advantage of this poster's offer, please have this conversation in private messages rather than posting your answer on the board. Not that she was asking you to give up private info publicly, but just in case. 


    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • Thank you ladies for your advice...I'm starting to feel like I can breathe a little easier.

    He has had a couple of sponsors, and the sponsor was just recently switched to the LCPO or the LPO( I can never remember what the abbreviations are).  So he has asked his sponsor about his orders and leave already.  I actually wasn't aware that the sponsor was supposed to make sure DH could get to any appointments he has, so that is definitely helpful.  

    My husband doesn't feel like he's being treated unfairly.  He knows of other people who were given a little over a week's notice, and they were still unable to get leave to help their families and whatnot.  What really bothered me is he graduates roughly 5 days before his report-by date.  I just don't understand why he can't leave after graduation(with us paying for his ticket) and ride with us since he will be waiting around anyways. Back in A school, they said it would be fine for him to do something like that, but his transportation back home would be out of our pocket.  But as soon as he gets to C school and talks to his sponsor, they tell him it isn't possible, can't do it, don't try.  So we've been getting conflicting information for a while about this.

    I am aware of our Ombudsman, I just didn't contact her because I had no idea I was allowed to do that, really.  I assumed she was there just during deployments and such, and no one could really give me any answers about who I contact if I need help.  I still have absolutely no idea how to get a base decal, or if there's anything I'm supposed to be doing once I get there.  DH asked about it for me, and he was told to tell me to look online, which I did do.  The problem is, the website I found with all of the "helpful information" continually redirected me to (404--not found) or 'this page no longer exists'.  I assume I will just wait until we get there to figure it all out.. 

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  • I know this is hard to do! I had to do our last move alone! My hubby was on deployment, got no leave, and the ship he was on, flew his to his new ship which was also on deployment! The only benefit was that we were apart for so long we got family separation pay! Any way.... I see this has 2 ways of happening... #1: Call housing and tell them you cant be there that soon, you need more time to make it across country.... (If hubby cant take a cab to sign the papers with out you) #2 Why cant you leave before the 5th? Is it because of the movers? Or because of how his orders were cut? The first move out of schools is the hardest! No one take you serious until your seasoned! GO TO  THE FLEET AND FAMILY SERVICES CENTER NEAR YOU! They will help you deal with housing and getting your pay to drive across the country! And they will pay you mileage for you and baby, as well as per-diem for lodging and food to move. Believe me! We got this pay for me as I had to travel alone as well... Try not to stress, this is nothing new to the military, and they will work with you as best they can, and when you need help go to the FFSC, also LOOK at your orders, they will have the contact for the Ombudsman for your hubbys new command and she will be able to help facilitate things in CA for you as well... (I am in CA right now and just moved here from VA, so I remember the cross country trip!) If you want to talk or need more advice please feel free to send me a private message.... I would be glad to assist more... Good Luck!

    Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
    All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!

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  • image rorschachadot:

    I am aware of our Ombudsman, I just didn't contact her because I had no idea I was allowed to do that, really.  I assumed she was there just during deployments and such, and no one could really give me any answers about who I contact if I need help.  I still have absolutely no idea how to get a base decal, or if there's anything I'm supposed to be doing once I get there.  DH asked about it for me, and he was told to tell me to look online, which I did do.  The problem is, the website I found with all of the "helpful information" continually redirected me to (404--not found) or 'this page no longer exists'.  I assume I will just wait until we get there to figure it all out.. 

    USE YOUR OMBUDSMAN! Thats what she is for! She can help with child care, and moving questions, and what not! TheOmbudsmans go through massive training just for this!

    Also have your hubby go to Pass and ID to get your stickers, he will need his orders or ID card with new base decal, and current registration. They will issue his stickers then, and you can add them to your car. They have NEVER let me get them on my own before, but this may just be a command thing...

    Good Luck again!


    Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
    All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!

    Baby Dust To All!!!

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