Parenting after 35
Watergirl21
member
Has your DH changed for the better since marriage and kids?
Watergirl21
member
I just wanted to ask other Mom's if they noticed changes in their DH's since they got married or had kids.
My DH came from a difficult family situation- and his Dad was a terrible role model as a father and a husband. When we first got married DH struggled with the whole idea of marriage and partnership... in a lot of ways his behaviour was inmature. It initially got worse when DD arrived- but about a year later he seemed to come around and I have seen some positive changes- over the past 10 months. He spends more quality time with DD, and does a lot more around the house (laundry, cleaning, etc.) I just wondered if anyone else had the same experience with their DH- did the improvement continue?
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Re: Has your DH changed for the better since marriage and kids?
DH's mom and dad got divorced when he was 18 (his dad left his mom for a younger woman) and DH was much affected by that and still calls his mom often. They're close. He's not close to his father though. DH has always loved kids and always wanted to get married so it's no surprise that he's a great father to Adrian. My only complaint is that he used to do more around the house before we were married (living together) and as the marriage years go by, he seems to do less and less. Granted, he's working 60 hr weeks but still. Most of our arguments (which don't happen often) are about division of chores, child duties and money.
Otherwise, no complaints
yes ... sort of.
he is a great dad, and is more hands on than i would have expected. he has easily changed twice as many diapers as i have.
HOWEVER, his basic self-centered nature has not really changed. he still thinks of his needs first, and sometimes when i call him out on it, he looks at me like i have 10 heads ... he just doesn't get it. i knew this about him before i married him, and when it was just me, i could deal better ... but it blows my mind that doesn't WANT to make their needs his priority. whatevs ... no one is perfect, and he is still a better dad than my father and my step-father (i did NOT grow up with good male figures).
Yes, my H changed for the better since having DS. He was already super awesome, but DS has made him even awesomer
Yes, I made up a word.
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DH has always been an awesome husband and now he is an incredible father!!
His dad pretty much abandoned him and his sister when they were quite young. His parents divorced when he was only 5 or 6 and when his dad did see them he would pick them up and he would take them with him to the pub (DH is from England) and they would sit and play in the garden while his dad got drunk.
DH does not want to be that kind of dad, so he is the total opposite. He is so hands on with DD...I love watching him with her. I have never had to ask him to change a diaper (he probably does more diaper changes then I do!). When we go out he always has the diaper bag ready, loves doing bath and bed time.
He has always done a lot around the house, he does most of the laundry and probably a bit more of the dishes then I do. He keeps things pretty tidy and is always putting away DD's toys. I tend to do more of the deeper cleaning (bathrooms, vacuuming or steam cleaning and dusting) but he does those now and then as well. I have never had to pick up after him. I guess all of those years in the military and having room inspections paid off!!
He is always doing little things for me as well, like tonight I came home to a crockpot of stew for dinner (but I had stopped at McD's on the way home since I didn't know he was planning on making something
) some gummy bears and mini eggs on my night stand (I like a little snack while I watch tv in bed!).
YES!!! We are not married (yet) but have been together for going on 4 years. I cannot believe how much he has grown and matured over the past 2 of those. Things were not rosy for a little while and I left, prompting him to re-evaluate what mattered to him. Apparently it was "us." He had AWFUL role models for marriage, family and parenting, but he reaches out every day to be who he wants to be, not who he was taught to be. I'm so proud of him!
He, too, came from a very dysfunctional life. His parents both used meth, cocaine, whatever else you can imagine. His mother left on a consistent basis and would be gone for days, weeks or months. I'm simply amazed by him every day. He's a good man who has overcome goliath mountains to be who he is and I am honored to become a parent with him and someday a wife to him.
Not sure what the definition of "changing for better/worse" is, but our relationship did improve because we grew closer.
As for cleaning/laundry - he doesn't do it, but we have the cleaners to do it anyway. And the nanny does most of the cooking.
Well, mine is great...except that we've only had sex twice in the past 6-7 months.
It may be because we're tired...i'm not sure.
He does do a lot around the house and actually is a God send at night. He'll take him all night sometimes. I'm just trying to always say thnak you when he does things to encourage the behavior.