WWYD?

*elissa* · February 2012

Sorry if this is long, but would love to hear what you ladies would do in this situation. DH has a friend from highschool that we see maybe 2-3 times a year. She is part of his core group of like 10 friends friends from highschool. We have decided to keep our son's name quiet until he is born. She is on Baby #2 and has recently started telling everyone what they are naming their son. Well turns out it is the same name DH and I planned on using. I am due in about 2 weeks and she is due May. Do I call her to give her a heads up that we are planning on naming our DS the same thing she is? Or do we just name him when he is born and have her find out that way? I feel very awkward about the situation and dont want her to think we are "stealing" the name or that we are both using the same day. Would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks in advance ladies!!

RedCardinal · February 2012

If we were planning on a name, then I would name my child that name regardless of what someone else is doing. You are very sweet to worry about her feelings, but no one person owns a name. Calling her is up to you, but I don't think I would unless I was really emotionally close to the person.

jordanandkelly · February 2012

This is awkward. I think I would just name your son whatever you had planned on naming him. A call might be nice, just so she knows that you have been planning on this name since before her announcement. Who knows-- maybe she will give her son the name anyways.

brooklynesque · February 2012

Giving her a head's up would be nice, IMO, but be careful not to sound apologetic. Just say something like "I wanted you to know that DH and I have had ____ picked out as the name of our son for a while now, and we're still planning to use it when he arrives in March. I don't think there's anything wrong with our both using the name but didn't want you to be surprised when you heard we had chosen it. I know it's a little awkward that we apparently have the exact same taste in names but I don't think it's a big deal."

dozersmom · February 2012

brooklynesque:
Giving her a head's up would be nice, IMO, but be careful not to sound apologetic. Just say something like "I wanted you to know that DH and I have had ____ picked out as the name of our son for a while now, and we're still planning to use it when he arrives in March. I don't think there's anything wrong with our both using the name but didn't want you to be surprised when you heard we had chosen it. I know it's a little awkward that we apparently have the exact same taste in names but I don't think it's a big deal."

This.

g8trkim · February 2012

You may want to call her, but I don't think you need to. I don't think the same name thing is a big deal unless it is someone you are really close with and see often.

mlf625 · February 2012

I'd be super casual about it so she doesn't feel like you're apologizing and possibly "stole" their name. Is it out on FB? If so, I'd send a message being like "hey, saw you were using X for your baby boy! Us, too! I guess we've got great taste!" or something along those lines.

EastCoastBride · February 2012

I wouldn't call her. If you send out announcements, I'd put a note in there about how "when you told us the name, we had to laugh- it was the same name we picked but obviously we didn't share. It will be fun to have our kids w/ the same name! " or something to that affect. Or when you see her the first time after, same kind of thing.

I think to call and explain gives the situation more weight than it really needs, and honestly - no matter how "firm" you are about it, she COULD get pissed off and demand yo udon't use it, or what have you (i'd hope not, but you never know). What do you do then?

Once you've named your child, there is nothing she can do unless she wants to pick a different name.

*elissa* · February 2012

Thank you for the advise ladies! I am just so torn about the situation because I feel it is so awkward. She does not have facebook and I don't know who she has told so far. DH doesn't think it is necessary to call. He says just because we decided to keep the name to ourselves until DS is born does not mean we should have to justify choosing the same name as someone. He said we know we have had the name chosen for awhile, and I am due first. So if she is not happy she can always change the name.

WiFeY 4 LiFeY · February 2012

I wouldnt stress over it, like you said you see her 2-3 times a year, and no one owns a name. If it bothers her then she can come up ith another name for her son.

Name your little guy what you and your H love, and dont worry about others.GL

FrecklesInside · February 2012

*elissa*:
Thank you for the advise ladies! I am just so torn about the situation because I feel it is so awkward. She does not have facebook and I don't know who she has told so far. DH doesn't think it is necessary to call. He says just because we decided to keep the name to ourselves until DS is born does not mean we should have to justify choosing the same name as someone. He said we know we have had the name chosen for awhile, and I am due first. So if she is not happy she can always change the name.

I agree with your H. Don't worry about it. When you see her next I'd go with something like pp said - I guess we have the same taste in names! We'd been planning on using _____ and were surprised to hear you were using it too.. I don't know, I'd be super casual about it and not worry.

There is no such thing as name stealing and your baby will have the same name as so many other children anyhow, why worry that one of them will be a friend's child?

moonfaerie · February 2012

EastCoastBride:

I wouldn't call her. If you send out announcements, I'd put a note in there about how "when you told us the name, we had to laugh- it was the same name we picked but obviously we didn't share. It will be fun to have our kids w/ the same name! " or something to that affect. Or when you see her the first time after, same kind of thing.

I think to call and explain gives the situation more weight than it really needs, and honestly - no matter how "firm" you are about it, she COULD get pissed off and demand yo udon't use it, or what have you (i'd hope not, but you never know). What do you do then?

Once you've named your child, there is nothing she can do unless she wants to pick a different name.

ITA with all of this. Just name your kid what you've been planning to name him. IMO you don't see them often enough for it to matter at all that your kids have the same name.

PS - Once you start having kids, you may very well find that you see these people less and less, too. It just happens when everyone gets so busy.

trojas · February 2012

If you don't want her to think you are "stealing" her baby name (and I know you're not), I say tell her before the baby is born. I think it will make things more awkward if she finds out when baby is born.

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD?

Re: WWYD?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards