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people say stupid things.

odaubersodaubers
in 2nd Trimester

I am 26 weeks along now... woo! can't even believe it. I have had plenty of the comments already about how "round" i am, about  how I'll never make it to June,  about how there just MUST be more than one baby in there!! and USUALLY, I can shrug this off with an irritated smile and just ignore the ignorance...

 

However, last night I was at my husband's fathers house for a birthday party for his girlfriend. We were all sitting around the table, and my husband's grandmother said to me "I just don't think you'll ever make it to June..." and I responded with "well being that my due date is June 1, I don't think I'll mind if I have the baby before June". She then said "you're just so big..." almost judgementally. Her friend then asked me if i was absolutely sure there wasn't more than one baby in there? YES. I am absolutely sure, and the ONE that is in there is healthy (isnt that what is important?). The father-in-law's girlfriend then told me that I looked like if someone poked me, my stomach might just pop like a balloon. lovely. Trying to save the moment, his littler brother lovlingly said "well I'm sure he's probably just a big baby, that's all.". I then proceeded to go to the bathroom and cry because I just felt like I couldn't say anything to them about how incredibly rude they were all being.

 

I have done extensive research on this-- because i thought maybe i was crazy. but no, really, my bump is just as big as it should be. My baby is healthy, and that is all I really care about. There are plenty of women out there who are as far along as I am and are bigger, or the same size, or smaller- but every woman is different and I know it is stupid to let these things bother me... but last night I just felt so overwhelmed by everyone at the table commenting about how huge I am. Hey people, I am pretty aware of my size... I don't really need you to tell me!

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Re: people say stupid things.

  • SWBs WifeySWBs Wifey
    I've never been offended by people making comments... one of those things that doesn't bother me much.  I just laugh at them behind their backs later when they say "You are ALL BELLY!" (I'm only 26 weeks) because if they think my belly is prominent now, just wait another 12-16 week... Joke's on them!  And this is my second pregnancy, so I know I'll be gigantic by the end.  Right now, I haven't even gained any weight!  (I lost 18 lbs and two weeks ago, I had only gained 7 of those back so far)
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  • LaurenCase89LaurenCase89
    People do say stupid things! Family members especially should think about how the things they are saying will be taken by us emotional, pregnant women. I'm glad that your little brother was trying to help though! I know it's hard but just try to let it roll off your shoulders. My family lives 2 hours away and every time I see them I get "Oh my god your huge!" or something along those lines. They don't always mean it the way we end up taking it.
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  • KrissyMissKrissyMiss

    I know how you feel! Many of my and my husband's family members, not to mention some of our friends, seem to have no tact at all. Sure, you can let one or two tasteless comments roll off your shoulders, but there's a point where enough is enough. You've got every right to feel upset. I've been getting the "Was it planned?" question almost non-stop, as if my birth control methods (or lack thereof) are anybody's business. Finally I posted a link on facebook to an article on here, suggesting that people watch what they say and think before they start flapping their gums at me. It might not be the best way to handle rude comments, but it made me feel better.

     https://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/first-trimester/articles/top-5-worst-things-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman.aspx

      <a href="https://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="https://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt130da6.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

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  • odaubersodaubers
    i love that article!! thank you ladies!
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  • Beth1031Beth1031 member

    I try not to let it bother me, but sadly there comes a point when I've had enough.  For most of my life I've struggled with weight and body image.  Within the last 5 years I finally reached a point that I was comfortable with.  I am proud of my bump!  I love knowing that it is my baby growing strong, healthy and, if he takes after his father's side, big!  But all the little "oh goodness, you're so round", "wow are you huge"  comments it gets old and hurtful especially when it's the same people saying it over and over.

     Last Sunday at church though one person made my day. One of the men ( a very quite guy who doesn't really ever say much) came up to me and said I just heard you are expecting (I'm 25 weeks already... lol but whatever) and he congratulated me and said "You look so cute!  Pregnancy is very becoming to you!" Then he proceeded to tell me that another lady at my church that is expecting and I carry so well and that we look healthy and lovely.  Now why can't more people be like him?!? 

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