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LO cries when DH holds her - anyone else??

jertiejertie member
in Parenting after a Loss

DH is great and usually takes Pip after she eats around 5 or 6 PM - which is when her witching hour seems to kick in, and maybe once or twice during the day for 10-15 minutes during the work week (so I can pee and/or get dressed, etc.)  (DH works from home Tues - Thurs.)  Anyway, in the last week or so we've noticed that she seems to start crying whenever he picks her up.  We have no idea what's going on. 

For example, I was holding her and talking to her 45 minutes ago and she was smiling and babbling back at me, then he took her to give me a break and within 2 minutes she was yelling her head off.  Do you think she could be associating her witching hour with him now?  She was fine being held by him without automatically going ballistic up until about a week ago.  Or maybe she's just used to me taking care of her all day and switching to him is throwing her for a loop? 

Has this happened to anyone else out there?  If so, what did you do to fix it?  He's starting to get a little gun shy and doesn't want to hold her for fear she'll start crying ('cause once she starts it takes a while to calm her down) and I want to try to nip this in the bud...  TIA!

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Re: LO cries when DH holds her - anyone else??

  • AimmeeJoAimmeeJo member
    I was just going to post something similar! I'm going crazy cause I'm always holding her and having to console her. Dh tries but she won't calm down for him at all. He feels bad and I'm sick of holding her ALL the time. I feel like I can't leave or have him take over at night :-(
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  • damabo80damabo80 member
    imageScout2005:

    I think they just go through phases. For a long time, it was all Mommy all the time for DD.

    Now her Dad is her favorite person on earth; she'll ditch me in a hot minute for him. 

    Just encourage your DH, tell him kids just do this, it's illogical and not personal. I had to keep reassuring DH, and insisting that he take her even when she was being resistant. Babies cry, and you have to just work through it.

    Honestly, the worst thing would be for him to pull back and not hold her. She'll pass through this phase, and maybe start crying when YOU take her from HIM. And then she'll get over that.

    I really do think it's just what they do. 

    Ditto. For the first few months, she didn't want a thing to do with DH, and would cry when he took her (witching hour combined with the fact he didn't have a boob). But then, as the witching hour went away, and she got more interactive, now she can't get enough of DH. But, if she's upset...well, she still wants the boob.

    She is starting to enter into the stranger danger phase and will cry and shake from fear if other people hold her. Getting a babysitter for her is loads of fun (sarcasm).  


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
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  • tew213tew213 member
    I too think it's just a phase LOs go through. DD is loving me right now and could care less about DH. Whenever DH has her shes smiling at me and won't look at DH at all. But if I am not in the room she is usually ok with him. This is a new thing for her. Hoping it won't last long - but I admit I am loving her wanting mommy :)
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  • D&D4Ever7D&D4Ever7
    Maybe it is just the change she doesn't like. It did take few weeks for DH to be able to soothe DS for us. Since he turned 4 months old, he loves DH!
    BFP 1: 08Aug10, EDD: 14Apr11, D&E 11Sep10 BFP 2: 29Jan11, EDD: 12Oct11, DS born 07Oct11!!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • spincat9spincat9 member

    We went through the same kind of thing - a couple times in fact - they really do go through phases. 

    When DD was about 2-3 months old, she would FREAK out when DH came home from work and took her to do a diaper change, etc.  I ended up accompanying DH for a few minutes each day to ease the transition, so DD could still see me.  It was part stranger anxiety, part separation anxiety.

    Be patient...just when you think you know what to expect they change it up again!!!  And DH needs to be patient too...she'll cry, and that's sometimes ok....

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  • jertiejertie member
    Thanks everyone!  It's always a relief to know that others have gone through this - and your helpful hints are going to be put in place.  We'll keep plugging away and hopefully her mini-fits will fade with time!  Big Smile

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  • thewayiamthewayiam

    Yes and yes. But I think it's because he gets home during the witching hour, so that doesn't help. Also, he doesn't try as many things as I do to get him to quiet down or sleep, so maybe that's part of it.

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