Pre-School and Daycare

Should I be concerned?!?!!? Long

We have a 3 1/2 yr old lil boy (he will be 4 in June). my concerns are that DC/pre-School seems to send home behavioral reports weekly. I am getting so frustrated & emotional about it. I have called them and stress to them if he is not putting his hands on another child, cursing (not that he would) or fighting then we should not be bothered with the, oh he did not want to go in time out, jump off the table, playing with the water in the toilet,etc etc. I feel that as a teacher or teacher's assistant you should have some control over your class. So they told us about a month ago that the teacher was not as "seasoned" and would be switching teachers. So the reports stopped for a while. But now have started back up, especially this week he have 4 behavioral reports. 2 in 1 day. Like come on. I am  no-way saying my lil boys is a angel. He does play aggressively & falls out a lot. We are trying to get a handle on it. But some of his behaviors I think is toddler related. My DH thinks I am overreacting and leave well enough alone. I feel if you going to send home a behavioral report of negative things, you should send home some type of report re his positave days.  I get some emotional sometimes, because I feel like they are picking on my baby (I know he is not)! lolol. Just wanted to see if anyone else is experiencing this and how you go about handling it.

I must say when he does get a behavioral report from school we speak to him about it and he will admit to not being a good listener that day, etc, etc.  Sorry for the long story, I can some what breath now......


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Re: Should I be concerned?!?!!? Long

  • I think I will. Because its getting ridiculous, to me. Thanks!


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  • Definitely have a conference, and definitely make sure the director is there.  Sending home a piece of paper isn't addressing a problem.  If there is a problem it needs to be addressed.  If not, they need to leave it alone.  If it's as serious as they're making it out to be, they need to come up with a behavior modification plan- i.e. reward system for good behavior, redirection cues, etc.  You're right it is their job.  If you son is causing problems they feel are above their job description, they need to communicate that to you and work with you to come up with a solution.  

    I've had issues with DD's preschool teacher putting her in time out daily.  It didn't get better until I met with the director.  What had happened is he (her teacher) had reprimanded her so much that her default behavior was to make wrong choices.  She just knew that she was the bad kid, and didn't want to go to school anymore.  First of all, I'm a teacher.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing a kid not want to go to school, especially our own.  Second of all, we pay a ton of money for Montessori school because I want a specific environment.  If they aren't willing to provide a nurturing Montessori environment, I don't see why I should continue paying them for one.  

    Hang in there.  I know how hard it is.  I did a lot of crying before things started to get better.  Honestly, they didn't get better until after winter break when my 3 year old DD decided to stop making bad choices at school.  Good for her, pathetic that her 65 year old teacher didn't rise to the occasion. 

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    imageManneek1977:

    We have a 3 1/2 yr old lil boy (he will be 4 in June). my concerns are that DC/pre-School seems to send home behavioral reports weekly. I am getting so frustrated & emotional about it. I have called them and stress to them if he is not putting his hands on another child, cursing (not that he would) or fighting then we should not be bothered with the, oh he did not want to go in time out, jump off the table, playing with the water in the toilet,etc etc.

    This is not your call to make. If you don't like being kept in the loop about your son's impulsive behavior, maybe you need to find a different setting. You either accept that they are going to report infractions or you vote with your feet/wallet.

    I feel that as a teacher or teacher's assistant you should have some control over your class. So they told us about a month ago that the teacher was not as "seasoned" and would be switching teachers. So the reports stopped for a while. But now have started back up, especially this week he have 4 behavioral reports. 2 in 1 day.

    He sounds somewhat impulsive. Perhaps they are reporting this in hopes they get behavioral support at home. For some kids that does help. Or maybe they have a concern that his behavior is significantly more intense then peers and are setting you up for a suggested evaluation or to be disenrolled from the program. Much as you don't like getting these notes (my DS has Aspergers and ADHD- I have a collection of these notes, emails and phone calls- it sucks), you wouldn't like to be told to make other arrangements for next week out of the blue without a warning.

    Like come on. I am  no-way saying my lil boys is a angel. He does play aggressively & falls out a lot. We are trying to get a handle on it. But some of his behaviors I think is toddler related.

    Newsflash. He's a preschooler, not a toddler.

     My DH thinks I am overreacting and leave well enough alone. I feel if you going to send home a behavioral report of negative things, you should send home some type of report re his positave days.  I get some emotional sometimes, because I feel like they are picking on my baby (I know he is not)! lolol. Just wanted to see if anyone else is experiencing this and how you go about handling it.

    I must say when he does get a behavioral report from school we speak to him about it and he will admit to not being a good listener that day, etc, etc.  Sorry for the long story, I can some what breath now......

    I agree with others, that you should meet with the teachers and director of the program. Maybe you can come to an agreement about a weekly behavior report. Maybe you'll get the vibe that they consider your son too much trouble and that you need to move on. Maybe all kids are getting such notes home; (most parents live for any snippet of information at school) and you're just over-reacting. I, too, prefer when a teacher takes the time to share the positive along with the bad stuff. If your teacher is so over your son's behavior, she may not be seeing what's good about him.

    Thanks for your advice!!


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  • I completely agree with you a report should be balanced. Why aren't they building on and expressing strenghts. These "reports" seem like old fashion referal notes, not good classroom-home communication. Do they encourage return notes? - your ovservations from home??
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • what is the school's policy on behavior reports?

    i know that with my school, we don't send anything home unless another kid was hurt (as in bruised or bleeding)

     

    as the teacher, if it's not a problem i can't fix, in the classroom (with time out), right away, i don't see it as a problem

     

    talk to the director, see what they have to say

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