Friends urging me to "enjoy" bed rest... VENT!

LilyPotter218 · February 2012

I keep getting all these emails and texts from friends who are telling me to enjoy being on bed rest. Take it while I can before Hannah arrives. "I would LOVE to be on bed rest"... Are you f*cking kidding me?! You do understand that I'm in this position b/c my pregnancy is high risk, correct?

I now have to worry about her, me, not working (and maybe not getting paid), using half of my maternity leave before she is even born, OB appts 2x a week, not to mention a list of 100 things to do in these last few weeks that I can no longer do. So relaxing, totally enjoyable (Mac will not let me insert appropriate sarcastic smiley here).

I don't want to turn into the caged monster and rip these people a new one, but has anyone ever heard of bed rest being described as enjoyable?! Arhhhhhh.

Thank you for listening I hate people... I love you all.

adreajoy · February 2012

lilypotter I am so sorry that you are having issues! I will give you a big virtual hug ( ) There you go! Next time someone says that to you, say "The only way I'll enjoy bedrest is if I dream of punching you in the face." and then blame it on hormones.

I am on the same boat as hating people in general right now.

cldixon · February 2012

I think people have this idea in their mind that bed rest takes place in a spa where every item is crossed off your to-do list and there are no worries.

Hope everything goes smoothly for the remaining few weeks!!! You're so close!!

psychgirl33 · February 2012

Yeah, not so much..... Just remind them that there is a big difference between just getting to lay around and having to stay in bed for a medical reason! I was stuck in bed for a month in first tri and I totally agree, it is not enjoyable! Especially when you know you are losing 1/2 of your maternity leave (which I did)! And when there is stuff to do and you are bored, but can't do it....

I am sure they are just trying to be nice and positive for you, but I agree that it would be annoying!

tash_rn · February 2012

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! People hear bed rest and they think that you relax in bed watching movies and eating ice cream all day with out a care in the world. Yeah, news flash, life doesn't stop just because you have to and that is seriously stressful! I'm sorry people keep doing this, I'm sure they mean well but it sure doesn't feel that way when they make those comments. Hang in there and you are always welcome to vent to us, I promise to try my hardest not to make foot-in-mouth comments about bed rest and stuff. Hugs!

mlee116 · February 2012

Yeah, people told me the same thing when I was put on bedrest, grrr! Little do they know that it sucks the big one. I am so sick of it and I only had to do it for 4 weeks...I don't how people do it for any longer. Bedrest is so freaking stressful. Not only are you confined to a bed when you really want or need to be doing other things, you have nothing to take your mind off of the problems going on that actually put you on bedrest.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this . I hope it goes by as quickly as possible for you and that the remainder of the pregnancy is uneventful.

JocelynMcC · February 2012

Yeah..bed rest gets old. I bet they'd be singing a different tune after a week or two in your position. Not fun!

MrsMincks · February 2012

Ugh. There is NOTHING enjoyable about bed rest. I was on modified and I about lost my mind, so I can only imagine how you're feeling! You're supposed to be resting and relaxing, but boredom and worrying about the baby are so stressful. I felt so lonely the whole time I was on bed rest because I wasn't at work (I did continue to babysit, but that's only because the little boy I look after is ridiculously easy to care for and I could practically do it from the sofa all day).

The people who think bed rest involves lounging in a silk nightie while hot servant boys fan you with peacock feathers and feed you peeled grapes are in desperate need of a reality check.

rosesforme · February 2012

Ugh. Mine keep telling me to be patient. Easy enough for them to say.

Bedrest could maybe be fun for someone who isn't pregnant for a whole day, but ask anyone who is perfectly healthy to lose their income for several weeks to stay home and be uncomfortable, stressed and tied to the bed and they might change their tune.

vanillacourage · February 2012

"Actually I'm getting a little stressed thinking about all that's left to do, that I can't get out of bed to get done. Can you swing by on Tuesday and make a Target run for me, or maybe hang some shelves in the nursery?"

Devil

huahualove · February 2012

My DH said to me the other day, since you've been on bedrest, you haven't cleaned at all.... I'm like really, did you just say that? First off, I have been cleaning and way more than I should, but just not as much as I used to. He doesn't understand that he is perfectly capable of cleaning up his own messes.

mcgeeva · February 2012

I think you spoke my mind! No one realizes it's not in fact a vacation! Oh what's even better..people asking so how much weight have you gained since you've been home?

mcgeeva · February 2012

vanillacourage:
"Actually I'm getting a little stressed thinking about all that's left to do, that I can't get out of bed to get done. Can you swing by on Tuesday and make a Target run for me, or maybe hang some shelves in the nursery?"

This!! How much it sucks to be on bed rest before you had a chance to finish getting all the items you need. Seriously do you think I am going to ask my husband to run out and get me boob pads, pads for after the baby comes, bottles, etc? Please he would come home with everything I didn't need. Or can someone please go get me a car seat, stroller attachment for my car seat, bouncer etc? That's right because bed rest happened before my shower so now amazon and online ordering is my best friend unless by the time it get's here my baby has popped out

punkymama · February 2012

Uuuum bed rest sucks and no one who is or was on it would say that! I feel your pain ((hugs))

Your bed rest is more restrictive than mine and I am sorry things aren't going how you planned Sad it is completely frustrating. The end result is a healthy mom and baby, though.

Instead of emailing you about how enjoyable bed rest is, they should be offering to come over and help...HMPF!

MelbaCat · February 2012

no one realizes how awful bedrest is until they're required to do it.

I'm sorry! Hang in there, you're so close to the end. I know it's stressful (and boring). I wish I had a good suggestion, but I was tearing my hair out on bedrest so I have no good time-passers. ::hugs::

MotherMonster · February 2012

I am soo with you! I'm not on bed rest, but I'm on restrictions for lifting because I was over doing it at work. DH has been trying to do as much as he can for me, but he has idiotic moments where he forgets I cant lift anything more than 5lbs. There are things I desperately want done, but I have to have DH or someone else do them for me now and it's driving my insane! I don't like having to rely on others like this so it's slowly killing me inside a little every day.

If you have as much of a hard time getting out of a recliner or bed as I do, I don't understand how on earth they expect you to enjoy bed rest...Have most of them never been pregnant?

I agree they should be offering to come and help! Round up some free labor and have at it! See if you can have them help get things done for you!

kccq9 · February 2012

vanillacourage:
"Actually I'm getting a little stressed thinking about all that's left to do, that I can't get out of bed to get done. Can you swing by on Tuesday and make a Target run for me, or maybe hang some shelves in the nursery?"

Totally agree with this. I feel incredibly helpless while on bed rest. And incredibly guilty since DH has to do EVERYTHING we hadn't done prior to it. On week 3--it's kind of a blessing I'm being induced next week. Can't wait to actually DO something

Hang in there, I know it's not fun and I totally see where you're coming from. Get on a schedule if you can. It's helped me a little to get up when DH and DD are leaving for the day, shower at the same time every day and get in to somewhat of a routine. Good luck!

MissAuroram · February 2012

I had a friend back in college who told me bedrest was really common for women in her family, and then expressed a wish that she would be so lucky. Even young as I was then, that got a side-eye out of me. Sorry you have to deal with that kind of thoughtlessness on top of everything else.

retallica · February 2012

Ugh!! I am sorry Lily!! That is very frustrating. People are so oblivious sometimes, and need to just stfu!

Loribelle73 · February 2012

As someone who has been on bed rest for 18 weeks that person would get ripped a new one. Even my husband says crap like "all you do is lay around all day and watch tv" and "I can't wait til you can get back to doing everything around the house." People don't realize how hard it is to lie around doing nothing for so long when there are tons of things you need/want to do.

cfarren · February 2012

I just have to smile and be relieved because I have been on bedrest for the last 3 weeks and people said the same crap to me and I felt the exact same way.

The 'enjoy is before they come' crap is annoying especially when you didn't choose to take this leave, your worrying about your baby all day, as well as using up the time you were planning on having to spend with your baby. Hang in there. Wish there was something to make it better. I'm lucky and have to be induced on Wednesday but I am also 3cm dilated and might not make it that far. Either way I am glad that the end of bedrest of over for me and I can at least get up and do stuff.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Alliebooberz · February 2012

((hugs))

Seriously I don't think people really think before they speak.

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