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tabithal1127
member
Am I a bad mommy?
tabithal1127
member
I need some candid opinions from other mom's to see if I am totally off base- thanks in advance (and sorry for spelling errors- Im tired and dont have spell check downloaded)
... I set up newborn pics with a photog friend before LO was born and I really wanted to get the "naked baby" in a hat type shots so we both did our research and she is a proffessional so we made sure to plan accordingly. I had told my mom in passing about the photos and she was kinda stand offish about them and passive aggressive about how we shouldnt waste our money on them (which I didnt, bc she did them for free as a favor since we work together in the wedding industry) and how they were not necessary. Im a creative- artsy type and she isnt, so I wasnt too surprised by her reaction and its pretty much the same one I would have gotten for engagement/maternity pics (which I didnt do either bc she made me feel bad about doing those type pics too)
Fast forward to today, we setup the photos and used a heating pad under the blankets to keep him warm, cranked up the air in the house and swaddled him between shots. He was such a champ and slept through all of them and I am realllllly excited about the shots we got. We were able to get the naked baby pics and also ones of my DH, myself and the baby. I sent a text pic to my mom of him at one point and never heard anything back from her. So I called after the shoot to coo over how great he was and basically she blasted me. She told me that we were irresponsible and that we were putting our newborn in danger bc he cant regulate his temperature. I explained the heating pad and everything we did over the 4 hour shoot and how we took breaks and she didnt seem to care or think it was enough. She said that we were also being inappropriate as having naked baby pics was not acceptable.I personally think that if you do it any later in the toddler years is inappropriate!! She said she didnt agree with the photoshoot and she was "appalled" at the photo I sent her and didnt agree with it. Then she hit me with a whammy and said "I guess I wont always agree with your parenting methods, and I guess Ill have to keep my opinions to myself when you make bad choices" ...
I dont expect her to love everything we do, and Im probably taking this harder due to my hormones and baby sleep depervation but all of her reaction really hurt my feelings. I dont think that we did anything wrong and I feel that we took the right steps to make sure he was taken care of and safe at all times. So I guess what Im asking is.... should I have not done the naked baby pics? I felt so great about everything that was shot today and after talking with my mom and I was so bummed out and started second guessing if people are going to think we are tacky or inappropriate...
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Re: Am I a bad mommy?
In no way whatsoever are you a bad mommy. I personally don't the like the naked baby pics too much. They are just not my thing. I don't see anything wrong with doing them though, they are cute. It's your choice.
My mom ooo's and awe's over every pic where my kids are concerned. I randomly send her cell pics all the time. I have 2 girls, they are 8 yrs and 11 wks. I do pics at 1mo, 3mos, 6mos, 12mos, 18mos, 2 yrs, and every yr after.
Don't let her make you feel bad. There is no reason for you to. You will never see eye to eye all the time with your parents. The world is different today than when we were kids. We also know what we like that our parents did and what we didn't.
Once you have a child you take and incorporate yours and your spouses ideas, traditions, and other factors to develop a parenting style, traditions, and decisions that work for YOUR family. Don't let anyone make you second guess yourself. We do enough of that on our own, especially as a mom.
*hugs*
First of all you are not a bad Mommy...I personally do not care for naked pics but I have no problem when other people decide to get them. Your mother is wayyy out of line. Feel better:)
I just wanted to agree with PP, you are not a bad mom!! The naked baby pics are pretty standard I thought! I love them (note siggy pic) It almost seems like there is more to the situation and that your mom is just angry to be angry. Maybe she is mad about something else and/or taking out her frustration on you? If not, it seems a little silly that she would get so mad over this. Honestly, if it were my mom, I would just brush it off/ignore it. Don't let her opinions weigh on you and add to the emotional rollercoster we all go through after birth. Of course I would be upset, but how rude of her to imply you are a bad parent over some cute pictures! I tell my mom, "You may not agree with how I parent my child, but this is how I am going to do it. Times have changed since you have raised children." She usually shuts up after that lol.
You are NOT in any way a bad mommy, when your little one is born they are naked and you take pictures then (right). We took a billion newborn pictures if you don't when they get older you will never be able to remember what they looked like when they where little bitty. We have taken pictures every month for out little one's one year frame. I love seeing how much he has changed since being born. Your the mom now you do what you feel is right and just for your family. Best of luck to you and your little one..
I don't know about OP, but when we did pics, it took at least 4 hours because the photographer worked around the baby's schedule/cues...when she woke up and needed to eat, I fed her and subsequently needed her go to back to sleep, and she needed to be cleaned up if she peed or pooped. so it's not like the baby's needs were being ignored or compromised for the sake of pics or anything
(I realize you may still think it's excessive, but I'm just explaining!)
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
This exactly..our photo shoot was ALL afternoon long
We did newborn pictures as well. More than half were naked to diaper only shots. My mother hated them but I love them, my money paid for them, and that's all that matters. Our photographer also used a warming pad and a space heater and we live in Texas so even in December it wasn't that cold.
My mom has opposed a lot of my ideas. She had me 30 years ago and helped with my cousins years before that. The ideas of how to take care of newborns has changed. My mom insisted we should be giving him cereal in his bottle at 2 weeks, letting him CIO at 4 weeks, and that his Doc was wrong about multiple topics. Don't let your mom make you feel like a bad mother, be confident in your decisions.
Oh my gosh your mom is... being completely irrational.
4 hours of anything is a lot for a mom and baby, but it sounds like you did it right with a lot of breaks, etc.
If naked baby pics were bad for the baby, I highly doubt that my hospital would have a photographer on staff who comes to your room the morning after you have your baby and.. takes naked baby pics.
By lilenatalem at 2012-01-28
Agree. I find it weird that someone WOULD find naked pictures inappropriate. It's a baby!! I find it weird that she has a problem with professional photos in general. She sounds very controlling.
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