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Late Term and Child Loss
FREAKIN Facebook **VENT**....*Warning touchy subject*
As many of you know I lost my 2 year old to brain cancer just 2 short months ago. I have a fellow friend who lost her twenty something year old brother in an accident last year. She was sent some liturature through a mutual friend to "help her".
As my friend and I are talking today she gives me an insight into this so called "liturature". It is about what happens to peoples souls after they pass away. She also made a post about it to get people thinking. This mutual friend posted
"The Bible states it clear..that the dead rest in the grave till the 2nd coming of Jesus, that the dead know nothing, have no memory. Even Jesus after He came out of the tomb said "Do not touch me as I have not ascended yet to My Father". If Jesus did not go to heave immed why do we think our loved ones do? Why does Jesus say He will come again if we are already in heaven? The breath goes back to God but we rest in the grave till He comes again. Death is a sleep and we have no memory or know nothing until the 2nd Ressurections. Check bible facts. It is clear."
I am livid. You CAN NOT tell me my son is not in heaven, I know it is true and I firmly believe that I will see him again someday soon. She went on to back herself up with this:
I am only going on the bible and not any other books. Society teaches us that when we die we go straight to heaven. Not what the bible says. And Lee..the comma was added. IF you move the comma to read "Truly, I say to you today, you will be with me in Paradise". If you read this Jesus himself says He did not go to His Father. If anyone when they died when to heaven upon death it would seem Jesus would be the first one.
I know people have a right to believe and say whatever they want. But this particular woman sent this to my friend who is in a VERY fragile situation. It has upset her greatly and honestly just makes me fired up!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FREAKIN Facebook **VENT**....*Warning touchy subject*
I know right? I am not upset at the fact that her beliefs are different. That is great for her but to be telling all of us these things and at least 3 of us have lost a young child or brother.
Sometimes I think FB gives people a platform to say things they wouldn't otherwise say to your face, like this situation. She came to the FH and to the Church service for my son and didn't utter a word but here she is telling us how it is from the comfort of her couch...Just frustrates me!
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
Why on Earth would anyone say such a horrible thing to someone who just lost a loved one? She might as well as have said, 'Oh by the way, your brother is not in heaven. I'm not sure where he is but he ain't there.'
Freakin' unbelievable.
(Chupps, I also have personal views on what your friend said but it's not worth mentioning here. PM me if you want details.)
THIS!
I don't want to get into all the religious stuff...but that's absurd. I grew up in the conservative church mentality just like that. As an adult I've explored who I am and what I believe...and I've analyzed the Bible. The church...religion...they've all dictated and interpreted. Heaven is real. When/how you get there is up to your belief. But they've got the "spirit" part all wrong. Even in the bible, people who died visited people as spirirts or "angels." They can't even keep there stories straight!
*sigh* Regardless, I'm sorry that anyone would ever even bring this up in such a manner.
Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!
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Seriously. There is something really wrong with that mutual "friend".
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This pisses me off. Everyone is entitled to their own views, of course, but to put something about death up when you know people who have lost loved ones recently is just stupid.
My question for her, though, would be, what about people who get cremated, and have no physical body, or grave? Does this mean my daughters arent EVER going to heaven, because I have them in urns at home? It seriously pisses me off that people think that way, and would say things like this to someone whos lost a child or sibling, or even parent!
This! That was extremely insensitive of her to write that. I'm sorry!
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
I would just like to know who exactly the person is who has died and not been brought back with life saving measures and then either went to heaven or not went to heaven and can now come back and tell us what we have to believe because that is what happened to them.
I know we all have beliefs and religions but nothing, nothing is absolute, we don't know because we are here on earth. Religion is Faith that is all, it is faith in the unseen, which means that we can believe what we choose to believe.
That friend was rude and inconsiderate and needs to step back and see that the bible is supposed to help you understand God and Jesus and it is a tool, it isn't meant to be used to beat someone over the head with to make them believe what you do. I am sorry she upset you and your friend. You both desearve better treatment from everyone, especially a Jesus believing, God fearing, slef proclaimed christian. After all christianity is based on love and understanding. Her FB did not show that at all.
Sorry I may have added to your vent.
I know my daughter is in heaven, and for anyone to suggest otherwise, I would slap their faces off. If I couldn't do it in person, I would surely do it verbally. How dare she?!?
I had a similar issue at my daughter's memorial service when my step-MIL's mother hugged me and told me that the next time I saw my daughter she would be a grown woman and I would probably not recognize her but she'd recognize me. Hold up, lady....WTF did you just say to me?!? I just looked her square in the eyes and told her I didn't agree with her and that it was not the time and place for her to be shoving her opinion on me. We don't get along too well anymore...
Hi,
I am really sorry that your mutual friend has been so uncaring and thoughtless as to be posting this type of stuff during such a difficult time.
I am a believing Christian, and have spent a decent amount of time over the last few years listening to sermons and reading information, and some of that has been around the study of apologetics (the defense of the faith). It is fascinating to learn about and I have grown a lot in my faith over the last few years.
One thing I can tell you is that many (maybe most) bible scholars would not agree with your mutual friend. I believe she is not reading scripture correctly and has not spent enough time with this subject to be sharing her opinion in the way that she is.
The short version is that scripture teaches that upon death those in Christ (and all children qualify - see the account of David's response to the loss of his son) are taken into the immediate presence of God which is also referred to as paradise/heaven/Abraham's bosom. In my opinion, it would not be correct to say that scripture teaches soul sleep (what your mutual friend is teaching) - at least I do not believe it does and know many bible scholars do not either.
I believe, based on scripture, that my daughter is in paradise/heaven at this very moment in the very presence of the Creator of the universe. I believe the same for your son and hope that gives you a sense of peace.
Good resources:
www.equip.org
www.gotquestions.org
I do not agree with every detail of theology from either, but both are excellent resources.
Also good is www.rzim.org
I am incredibly sorry for your loss and wish you healing and peace.
Hugs,
Jenn
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
My post above might sound a little "academic" or unfeeling or something...I don't know, I am tired from work travel this week and just worn out. I was trying hard to just give an "objective"-ish response/answer for purposes of responding to the know-it-all mutual friend.
I hope it did not come off as to sterile or rigid. That was not my intent.
I am so sorry for everyone's losses and for all the pain and suffering....and for the idiots that make it worse.
Hugs,
Jenn
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.