Just found out it's twins. Freaking out.

Sarah226 · February 2012

Hey guys. We had our first u/s yesterday and saw that both blasts we transferred back stuck! Obviously, we knew this was a possibility, but I'm still feeling totally shocked and to be honest, a bit terrified. I'm concerned not only with parenting two infants once they get here, but with the higher risks in pregnancy, the increased costs, etc. etc. (etc., etc, etc.....)

It makes me feel terrible b/c I feel like I'm ungrateful, and after everything we went through to get pregnant, ungrateful is the last thing I should be feeling. I feel like I should be thrilled to have twins, and at this point I'm honestly not. Maybe it will just take some getting used to?

So, can you help put my mind at ease? Are my feelings normal? And if you have any non-high-risk-twin-pregnancy anecdotes, I'd love to hear them.

Thanks ladies! I'm looking forward to hanging out here and learning from all of you!

Missa_g · February 2012

Congratulations! It's so exciting and overwhelming to be pregnant after IF, when you add twins into the mix it's even moreso! Give yourself time to get used to the idea and permission to feel scared and overwhelmed. It's okay and it's normal. After going through everything you have it's understandable to be concerned about a high risk pregnancy. I am considered high risk but so far everything has been picture perfect. I still have quite a ways to go but I'm finally feeling more confident that everything will work out. You will be monitored extra closely which should help ease the anxiety a little.

atlantic · February 2012

Yes, what you are feeling is VERY normal. I had such a hard time comin to terms with twins. Ours are spontaneous and we never considered the possibility. I'm still freaked out, but I'm also excited. Yes, it will be hard, but it will also be so rewarding. They will always have a best friend, a playmate, and that unique...so cool bond. And I remind myself that others do it all.the.time (so many on this board) and I can too.

LadyGolfer523 · February 2012

Hi Sarah! I remember your siggy from way back in the GP days. Your feelings are 100% normal. I was terrified of carrying twins until about 20 weeks. I don't know why things got better after that, but I was able to relax. There are risks, but your Dr. will monitor you closely. I was in the hospital 3 times due to PTL but my girls still hung in there until 37 weeks and were both over 6lbs.

You can do this! Just take a deep breath and try to enjoy the ride.

CourtneySue · February 2012

first- CONGRATS!!! I totally get how you are felling. I almost felt like God was laughing & saying here try this out!!! i really did not believe it would happen since we transfered 2 the first time & just got one.

It took me a long time to sink in & even refused to read & research (my fav things) We are slowly getting used to it slowly.

GeauxTigers82 · February 2012

Totally normal!

I cried when we found out it was twins (and not really tears of happiness). It was a total shock. The nurses kept coming in the room to tell me "Congrats," and there I am balling on the table! I never wanted my kids close together in age (I was very closed minded about that...at least 3 year apart, no exceptions!), and now 2 at once? Then I started to feel so ungrateful because of all the people that would give anything to have one baby, much less two! I felt awful for feeling that way. Luckily, it didn't last long, and once I was able to share the news with everyone, it became a lot more exciting!

It's still overwhelming, and I think will always be, but in a good way. It's amazing how it will feel so totally normal to have two babies, from the minute they are born. You will just adapt and do what you have to do, without thinking about it.

You will be fine, and even happy about it one day!!! Hang in there and don't beat yourself up over what you're feeling.

Breezy8407 · February 2012

Congrats!

I'm not gonna lie...I am still overwhelmed. People are kind and say wow how lucky one of each, one and done, etc, but they aren't the ones having to carry them, worry about the complications, care for them, and pay for them

Ours were spontaneous and we had no reason to suspect them at all. This board has been amazing at helping me at least feel like I am getting prepared and trying to get a grasp on what to expect (even though I know there is no amount of preparation, reading, classes etc that can get us fully ready for our two babies).

Rangergal9 · February 2012

Congrats on your pregnancy! It is hard not to worry, but everything works out in the end. I had a complication free twin pregnancy.. I worked until I was 36 weeks, never dilated, never had a contraction, nothing. Only bad thing I experienced was swelling in my legs that became painful in the end. I had a scheduled c/s at 38 weeks 1 day. My girls were 6.10 and 7lbs at birth and came home with us when I was discharged. So yes, you can have a great, complication free twin pregnancy! Wishing you the best!

Mrs. Alice · February 2012

Congrats and welcome! Let me reassure you that what you are feeling is 100% normal. I went through a whole range of emotions when I found out since it was so unexpected. You get several months to prepare and get used to the idea. Once I did, it was like I couldn't imagine just having one. Even though I had anything but a normal low risk pregnancy, looking at my babies healthy and happy now makes it all worth it.

americana · February 2012

We had spontaneous twins, and with no history of twins in either of our families I was completely in shock. I cried tears of despair when we found out. The radiologist was trying to console me. My DH was the opposite and jumping for joy. And a couple people did say, "You should be happy, so many people are trying for just one baby." Nothing like making you feel worse and selfish. I had all the same childcare, finance, delivery, etc. worries you have. When we found out they were identical twins I worried even more. I did have pre-mature delivery but the girls are doing amazing. You adjust really quickly once they arrive and you learn to do everything that much quicker because you have twice the practice! Everything you are worried about will work itself out. The first pregnancy is always nerveracking no matter whether it's one baby or more. Hang in there! We're expecting #3 now and I'm not scared like I was the first time around.

melissajo2011 · February 2012

It was a shock at first, but I love having twins! I did not have a low-risk or uneventful pregnancy, but it was all worth it. Having 2 babies really isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Even at 6.5 weeks, they prefer to be together and I think they're going to be best friends as they grow. Best of luck!

SRK128 · February 2012

All that your are feeling is normal. Congrats on your twins! This board is fantastic.

ougrad1 · February 2012

Welcome and congrats!

tootlebug · February 2012

congratulations!

totally normal feelings. i have DOR/borderline POF and im 32...we did clomid, had 2 mature follicles and they both stuck. bc of my diagnosis and the fact that i only had 2 follicles, we were pretty floored. and not really in a good way. like you though, i know what IF is like and when REs tell you that you will never get pregnant so i felt guilty for not being over the moon.

im almost 32 weeks so we are way past the acceptance stage, and approaching the excitement stage. i still have a ton of anxiety though, a lot of it stemming on how my 3 year old will handle it...this board is really great bc everyone has their own little experiences and it's easy to find a way to relate.

congratulations again.

august8080 · February 2012

What you are feeling is totally normal. DH and I both still go through moments where we mourn the loss of a "normal", singleton pregnancy. Just allow yourself to feel what you're feeling and don't beat yourself up about it! I don't think I would say I ever felt thrilled--I'd say I've accepted it, for the most part, and I can now, often, think about the exciting/cool parts of having twins.

smcgervey · February 2012

Congratulations to you!! You are having a perfectly normal reaction!

And as for high-risk, don't let that scare you! Because there are two, you will automatically be put in that category but I know MANY MoMs here who have had uncomplicated twin pregnancies Mine so far has been quite normal/uneventful but everyone has different experiences. I wish I could tell you that you won't have any problems but only time will tell!

Because you have a nice early start to your twin pregnancy (I didn't find out until 14 week NT scan) you will be monitored accordingly and be well taken care of! Make sure you force yourself to take it easy - people will understand

My uncomplicated pregnancy hasn't been without its aches and pain but every time I get to see those precious babies has made every sacrifice worth it. Today another mom who has 21 year old twins told me that it was definitely more difficult than her singletons, but that they were so much fun to have and a huge blessing in their lives. I am certain that you will feel the same

Best of luck and welcome to the MoMs club!

Sarah226 · February 2012

Thank you all so much for your kind words and reassurance! I feel so much better reading through these replys. I think it's like you said, august8080, in that I'm sort of mourning the loss of a "normal" singleton pregnancy, especially after having to mourn the loss of a "normal," natural conception. It's just not working out how I "envisioned" it, or something? Of course, nothing ever does, especially pregnancy, I'm sure, so its probably good to get over that early. Ha!

Also, HI! MrsT! I remember your avatar and SN from back in the day. Good to "see" you!

sunshine823 · February 2012

Congratulations! Personally, i think you are perfectly normal...i had the same overwhelming feelings. We were in the same situation, knew multiples were a very high possibility. But going from not knowing if we'd conceive and always imagining just one baby...it's very scary to think of twins! I still get a little nervous but I am feeling much better about it now. I think you just need a little time

starburst210 · February 2012

yay! i remember your name from the IF boards!! i think we chatted a few times....i changed my name however at one point to become more anonymous but i am so thrilled for you! it's def. a shock and it's def. scary but you will do great!! take it all in and remember that all the feelings are normal!!!

Want a personalized experience?

Just found out it's twins. Freaking out.

Re: Just found out it's twins. Freaking out.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Just found out it's twins. Freaking out.

Re: Just found out it&#039;s twins. Freaking out.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: Just found out it's twins. Freaking out.