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If your DH/SO travels for work...

atc282atc282
in Multiples

How is it with managing the babies alone??

DH is currently interviewing for a job that would req. heavy travel (4 days out of the wk). He's made it now to the final round and if he gets through it, he'll be offered the position.

We have zero family around and since we moved here not too long ago, we don't have a core group of friends yet....

I'm just wondering what to expect (if he gets the job)?? How do you manage?

Any feedback appreciated!

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Re: If your DH/SO travels for work...

  • jcathjcath member

    I am actually the one who travels - but when I do I make sure to have back up help for my DH. We luckily have family in town but I try to have someone (usually my parents) be at our house in the evenings when the girls get fussy and both want to be held.  Plus he'd never get dinner without help.  Otherwise he says it's not too bad on his own.  

    You should look into hiring a sitter a couple nights a week and maybe some household help if affordable b/c the other thing about traveling is after you've been gone all week you don't want to come home and spend the weekend cleaning - you want to see your kids. 

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  • tootlebugtootlebug member

    i look forward to seeing the responses to this. 

    my husband's work requires travel...if he makes partner this june it will only increase- and drastically.  he has haulted all travel until the babies are born, and then for a month or two afterwards (im 32 weeks almost) but after that it's back to reality.  we hired a nanny to come 3 days a week for 8 hours each day.  i do have some family.  but it's the nights that im worried about.  we also have a 3 year old.  it's going to be so hard.

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  • jamdonutjamdonut

    DH travels heavily for work, right now he is gone for almost three weeks and that includes weekends. He took a few weeks off from traveling after the babies were born but had to travel a lot before the end of the year.  Like OP, we also do not have any family nearby, so we hired a nanny to start while I was still on maternity leave so we could get a routine established before going back to work FT.

    Other things that help me was hiring a housecleaner to come 2x a month and getting groceries delivered via Peapod so my weekends aren't spend cleaning and grocery shopping while juggling the boys alone.

    I would look into finding a great sitter (look at local colleges, ask your new neighbors for recommendations) to give you a helping hand at night or on weekends. I have one neighbor who loves to come over once a week and help feed/bathe babies! Never turn down help!

    Good luck...it is totally managable. Yes there will be days/nights were they both need the same thing at the same time and you will find a way to do it, but every day it does get easier!

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  • ougrad1ougrad1 member
    Routine, routine, routine and an early bedtime.  You get used to it and it's fine.  It sometimes gets to the point that when he is here, he's in the way.  ; )
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  • jamdonutjamdonut

    imageougrad1:
    Routine, routine, routine and an early bedtime.  You get used to it and it's fine.  It sometimes gets to the point that when he is here, he's in the way.  ; )

    So true... Stick out tongue

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  • JenIrvJenIrv

     

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  • JenIrvJenIrv

    imageougrad1:
    Routine, routine, routine and an early bedtime.  You get used to it and it's fine.  It sometimes gets to the point that when he is here, he's in the way.  ; )

     

    This lady knows what she is talking about. My husband is in the AF and is gone about 2 weeks out the month, including weekends. I have had to create a routine and even revamp what I previously did with my 9 year old. THEN explain when he is home, he needs to follow what we do, since we are doing it when he is not here =)

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  • sunshine610sunshine610 member
    imagejamdonut:

    imageougrad1:
    Routine, routine, routine and an early bedtime.  You get used to it and it's fine.  It sometimes gets to the point that when he is here, he's in the way.  ; )

    So true... Stick out tongue

    Agreed! The sleeplessness was a killer if I had to do it more than two nights in a row when they were still getting up 2-3 times a night, but now that they STTN 12-13 hours it's no big deal at all. You do what you have to do and it gets easier every day!

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  • rachelle2824rachelle2824 member

    I was alone for the first 6 weeks for up to 6 days a week. DH had to go back to work 3 days after the twins were born. If my husband takes another job which requires travel extensively I will plan to have a nanny "on call" for those crazy instances like illnesses, horrible nights sleep etc. If you can't afford a nanny, maybe a "mommy's helper" that you can call a day or two a week just to have a few hours to clean up, read, or whatever? The helper can play with babies and you can get a short break and since you are still in the house it can be someone young or old and they may even volunteer for you!

    It's totally possible though! You can do it if you have to and if you can make it more comfortable for yourself, do it! 

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  • adacopeachadacopeach
    I don't have any advice because I'm not there yet.  However, I wanted to see if there was a multiples group in your area?  The one where I live seems to be really great!!  I would highly recommend joining if there is one.  You'll instantly have access to people who have walked or are walking in your shoes.  Also, my group is a great resource for nanny's and/or sitters!!!!  Good luck!
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  • EriksgalEriksgal
    My DH travels 2-4 days pretty much every week. He was able to stay home from when the babies were born until Jan so that helped. I work so I'm only home alone a few hours with them before bedtime so it's not too bad however if I was a SAHM there would have to be room made in the budget for some help at least 2 days a week. Tonight I had to bathe all three myself which was tough but I kept reminding myself I would get a break at 8pm! I wouldn't trade it for the world though! Good luck :)
    Diagnosis: DOR and MFI-low everything IVF #1 = triplets! 2 girls and a boy! Born Sept 29, 2011 at 32w6d due to Pre-e and HELLP syndrome Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • jennypejennype
    imageougrad1:
    Routine, routine, routine and an early bedtime.  You get used to it and it's fine.  It sometimes gets to the point that when he is here, he's in the way.  ; )
    Exactly! Babies in bed by 6:15! And I get a sitter a few days a week in the afternoon to come by and take them for a walk and hang out with them so I can get a break. Anything is doable as long as you're flexible and fearless!
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