What did you do to make yourself feel better after loss?

ChevTrucksr4Grls · February 2012

Exactly as the subject says... So the very next day after the loss we used a portion of the money that I was saving for my maternity leave - and we bought a 'slip' so that we could dock our boat this summer.. and get the most use out of it possible. (told my doctor we were doing this right away and she said - well, I'll be seeing you back in a few months preggo with all that boating and wine drinking... sure hope so lady!) and secondly... we are going to get our remembrance tattoos on Saturday - we're getting portraits of Hudson's feet (we have a black/white photo) and the saying "A life so brief, a child so small, you had the power to touch us all..." and THIRDLY - I just bought my entire setup for our walk-in closet... yep, I was a big spender this weekend ;-P But.. oddly enough.. this process is helping...

We will also be seeing a grief counselor on Sunday... busy weekend ahead of us...

MandynStephen · February 2012

Wow, you have been busy! I plan to get a memory tattoo sometime in the future. But for now, I have found comfort in lunch dates with understanding friends (one who even had a loss due to ptl as well) and reading books on loss.

Hope you are finding peace, the grief counselor is helpful, and your doctor was right! ((hugs))

nuttycoconut · February 2012

All those things sound good to me! I put a lot of effort into trying to make myself feel better. So far I spent lots of $$$ of my memorial necklace, bought tops that fit nicely and hide my extra 10 pregnancy pounds so I can feel good about myself when I go out with friends, went out to a fancy NYE party and got my hair and makeup done, go out to lunch and dinner with friends as much as possible, booked 2 weekends away with DH and a girls weekend away in Sept., got 3 massages, etc. I'm also thinking about getting a tattoo but I was adamantly against them until just recently so I'm still a little nervous. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself and I hope you are finding a few moments of peace.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · February 2012

My husband and I are getting tattoos on 3/12 (hand and footprint, name and dates). We went to the Bahamas for 6 days and 5 nights. It was great to get away but even there (and at a couples only resort) I still had triggers and we still had moments. We're going on a Mediterranean cruise in October (which is what we're setting as our TTCAL launch). It's going to cost us a ton of money but figured if we don't do it now, when will we be able to. I'm still trying to find the perfect right hand ring to memorialize my son. I'd like to say that spending money makes me feel better but it doesn't. I do go to individual counseling and as difficult as that can be at times I do find it has helped. I've also found a select number of friends that I can actually talk to without judgment. When all else fails, I write. I haven't really done it in a while (between having the time and the point where I'm at in the story, it's been difficult) but writing does seem to help me at least. Big hugs! Keeping busy can be a struggle at times but it can also be great. Hope you find some peace.

tracydg33 · February 2012

I know this is going to sound crazy but I slept with his blankets that smelled like him for like a year after. I had also lost my mom 6 weeks before my son so I was not even close to done greiving her then my son. I have not gone and talked to a counseler (sp sucks) I think I am scared to talk to a professional because if they have not gone through what I have they would never understand my feelings and where I am at in my greive process if that makes any sense. I just feel that someone can't relate unless they have went through this

dandywarhol · February 2012

I spent a lot of time journaling. It helped to get out the feelings and thoughts that were a jumble in my head. I purchased a little acorn necklace and a remembrance ring with an Opal - her birthstone. I also started running and training for a half-marathon. I talked my Hubby and sister into running it as well (as a relay team). My parents, BIL, and nephew will be joining us in NOLA and cheering us on for the race. I'm a little bit worried about the emotional outburst that is going to happen when I cross the finish line.

olp79 · February 2012

We went out to a nice restaurant on Valentines and had sangria after so long. We booked a hotel in Atlantic City last Sunday, went to a nightclub with friends even though I was feeling down. We went to the outlets and bough clothes + a Coach bag, we went to a casino for the buffet, spent a lot of money last weekend.

mdluv21 · February 2012

I went back to work after 9 days. It helped me a lot. DH and I took a trip to Vegas about 9 weeks after and that was nice.

I also started seeing a grief counselor right away for about 3 months and that was huge.

foxxy1 · February 2012

I spent a ton of money (way too much, honestly) but it was mostly on memorial jewelry, paying off debts, and savings. I also read a couple of pregnancy loss books and just started working out again. I've also been doing a lot of Bible study.

magdalina.h · February 2012

You've been very busy. :-) I researched and researched and researched. It didn't make me feel better because I didn't learn anything new, but it kept my mind busy. I also started fundraising for the March of Dimes.

krysiahamaty · February 2012

You've definitely kept busy and you deserve to do whatever you need to do to help feel even an ounce better. Right after our loss, having people around helped because it would get my mind off things. And then I eventually went to work.

Hope you're doing as ok as you can be. Hugs.

ChevTrucksr4Grls · February 2012

KrysiaHamaty:
You've definitely kept busy and you deserve to do whatever you need to do to help feel even an ounce better. Right after our loss, having people around helped because it would get my mind off things. And then I eventually went to work.
Hope you're doing as ok as you can be. Hugs.

I was originally having 'people phobia' ... but have found myself doing SO much better now with people around.... I wanted to get back to work right away but my Dr is making me stay out the full two weeks (which now I get... I started bleeding and cramping heavily today).. Also, I know tattoos are not for everyone.. but Saturday means the world to me... to have him back on my body in any way.. that to me is so special...

careyalis · February 2012

I have been making myself shower everyday and putting on makeup. I have slept with Avery's blanket and a teddy bear since we came home on Friday. It makes me feel a lot better to be close to DH. As silly as it sounds, we had a highschool make out session and snuggled last night and that is the best I've felt. We are going to Florida in the morning to stay on the beach and see my family and I am really excited about that.

pandabearlover · February 2012

We took the girls to Disneyland the weekend of my EDD. It was a happy trip, but I knew as soon as we got there that I couldn't escape the grief. Big families, families with little boys, any tiny baby and all the "boy" rides made me sad. But there were also super awesome moments I will never forget-the girls meeting Minnie, my oldest driving me around Autopia, my youngest freaking out in a good way when she saw her favorite Pluto, DH laughing and playing with the girls. I think I sort of came to terms with my family size on that trip and I really enjoyed having just 2.

I also got 2 tattoos and shopped like crazy. I bought my girls a ton of clothes and toys. I justified it by saying I would have been buying boy stuff and now I never will.

Carolee · February 2012

A month after losing Eliott, DH and I flew to Kauai for a week. We had gone there for our honeymoon, and it felt right to go back there. I think it helped with our healing.

I posted about this a few days ago, but I've been spending $ more than normal, especially on things I wouldn't normally buy (iphone, LV purse, jewelry, etc). Not that any of that stuff really makes me feel better...

Cygal · February 2012

pandabearlover:
We took the girls to Disneyland the weekend of my EDD.

I was telling my DH last night that I just didn't feel like i had anything to look forward to anymore and he asked me what would be something I could look forward to. The honestly only thing I could think of would be a trip to Disney. I'm glad you had a good time.

lrichmond86 · February 2012

tracydg33:
I know this is going to sound crazy but I slept with his blankets that smelled like him for like a year after. I had also lost my mom 6 weeks before my son so I was not even close to done greiving her then my son. I have not gone and talked to a counseler (sp sucks) I think I am scared to talk to a professional because if they have not gone through what I have they would never understand my feelings and where I am at in my greive process if that makes any sense. I just feel that someone can't relate unless they have went through this

I sleep with baby Gary's blanket on really bad days. Having something that was as close to his body as his blanket that close to me really gives me a lot of comfort. Maybe I'm crazy, but it has a certain smell to it that I'll always associate with my first son.

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