School-Aged Children

Surprise baby gender #3, or not?

Hello Everyone!  I'm new to the site so just kind of lurking for the most part ... but, I do have a question and think this would be a great place to ask it!

I have 2 kids, both boys, age 5 and 6.  My husband and I know we are going to have a 3rd, just not sure exactly when, but we are toying with the idea of not finding out the gender.  We DID find out with both of the boys.  Gender of #3 isn't really important (of course we'd like to have a girl) but truly it isn't important to us. 

So, the dilemma is in deciding whether to find out or not.  I am a planner by nature, but I am thinking that if this will be my last pregnancy, why not have it be a surprise???!!!  Sounds fun!  But - how does a planner do this?  I'm confident I can get nursery items like crib bedding in a gender-neutral pattern that I will like, but my dilemma comes with clothing.  I sold all of the boys' baby clothes a couple of years ago, so no matter what I have - I will have nothing!

Do people go out and buy both girl and boy clothing then end up returning a bunch of stuff?  Or do you just buy a few things and wait and see? 

--------------------- Amanda DS Zack 7/31/05 DS Luke 1/1/07

Re: Surprise baby gender #3, or not?

  • We had two girls and did not find out with number three. While I loved finding out at the u/s, I have to say having my husband announce that he was a boy was AMAZING. It was such a surreal experience and I am so sad we aren't having anymore so that we could wait till delivery day again. It was seriously awesome. I bought a few gender neutral outfits, a coming home outfit for a boy and girl (but left the tags on so that I could return one or the other) and that was it. but we got so many gifts of clothing (I am sure more so because we did have a boy and had no boy clothes) that I didn't have to buy anything for a while. 
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    {Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
  • We also did not find out with our third (or second) son's. We did find out with our first, but I really liked finding out when they were born best! I was actually surprised, since I was convinced my third was a girl. Just as happy though with having another little boy ; ) I am pretty sure we are done, but if we had another I would not find out. I figures it we had a girl we would get so much clothing from friends and family... we did anyway when we had our third boy and was a bit overwhelmed with boy clothing ; )
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
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  • We didn't find out for #3, but we didn't find out for #1 or #2 either.  I think it keeps things exciting, especially when it's not the first time around.  The only drawback is that it is a little harder to prepare my kids.  My DS is convinced this baby is a boy and my DD is convinced this baby is a girl.  My DS is old enough to care one way or the other, so we've been trying to prep him for the idea that he may be disappointed.  It would probably be easier if we already knew since he will have to deal with so many changes when the baby is born already.  But, maybe it will go better than I think? 

    As far as planning, it's never really been an issue for us.  I had no idea that DD was a girl and we received tons of girl stuff after she was born.  I had gender neutral in NB size so we were set for awhile anyway. 

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • We found out on both our 1st and 2nd babies. But I want baby #3 to be a surprise, DH wants to find out. I want that surprise at delivery of finding out if baby is a girl or boy. At this point we will be thrilled with either gender.

  • I wanted baby #3 to be surprise but I couldn't hold out and neither could MH.   I wanted another girl sooo bad and he wanted another boy (bad).  He wanted DS to have a brother and I wanted DD to have a sister, neither of us had a same gendered sibling and desired it.  Anywho, DS2 is all boy.   And I was sad (nothing shopping couldn't cure) but I am glad I had the time to grieve the girl I had wanted prior to meeting DS2.  He is absolutely perfect. 

    p.s there is no chance for #4 and we both knew that


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  • With my first, we couldn't tell at the u/s, so it was a surprise at the delivery.  We didn't buy tons of baby clothes.  Most of what we bought was infant clothes in neutral colors.  We did buy some gender-specific items "just in case."  After she was born, people brought "girly" baby outfits as gifts.

    Even though I had not bought/received tons of clothes, it was fine.  By the time she was ready to move up to 3-6m sizes, I was ready to get out of the house and shop.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • imageshopgirl78:

     I am glad I had the time to grieve the girl I had wanted prior to meeting DS2.  He is absolutely perfect. 

    p.s there is no chance for #4 and we both knew that

    We had a similar situation with our 2nd (and definitely last) kid.  DH really, really wanted a second girl.  I was leaning towards wanting a girl, but more prepared for a boy than DH was.  It took a little while for all of us to get used to the idea that the fourth member of our family was going to be a boy!  It was nice that we had time for that before he was actually born!

    Of course, now we couldn't imagine having it any other way.  We feel like our family is perfect for us! 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • All 3 of mine were surprises and we loved it! With #1 we bought some gender neutral clothing.  With #2 and #3 we didn't buy anything.  We knew we would be set if it was a girl and if it was a boy people would shower us with clothes and then I could buy some.  Well,  even though we had 2 more girls people still bought us tons of clothes because they wanted our new baby to have her own stuff.
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  • If you truly don't believe there will be any feelings of 'disappointment' if you don't have a girl, I'd do the surprise. I have a friend who when she was pg w/#2 she wanted a girl very badly.  Their first was a boy & her mom had recently passed & she was really wanting a girl for that mother/daughter relationship since her mom was gone.  They decided to find out so that if it was a boy, she could kind of grieve the loss of not ever having that relationship & not have that affect delivery day.  She found out it was a boy, dealt with her feelings & was then ready & excited for him! 

    I had a surprise w/#1 and it was really awesome, so if you've never had that experience you will love it.  There are so many cool gender neutral crib sets.  Plus I actually really liked not having all gender specific clothing- I got tired of pink overload very quickly so we def. had some other options.  

  • We had DD#1 and then DS and we found out each time.  When we were expecting #3, we decided to be Team Green (DH never wanted to know but humored me since I am a planner).  Since DD#1 and DS are close together in age, we have gender neutral stuff (crib sheets, etc) and clothes for both genders anyway so it was not a big deal to not find out.

    It was so much fun to be Team Green!!  It annoyed some family who wanted to know, but we loved being able to call up everyone and announce that DD#2 had arrived and hear everyone's surprise that baby was a girl.

    We are Team Green again this time (to many people's surprise and annoyance).  I don't have any "feelings" if this baby is a boy or girl but we can't wait to find out.

    DD#1 11/7/04 DS#1 6/24/06 Chemical Pregnancy 6/08 DD#2 1/28/10 after secondary infertility, Clomid, & acupuncture missed m/c 6/2010 at 8 weeks (baby stopped growing @ 5.5) DS born sleeping 1/13/2011 due to cord accident at 22 weeks. DD#3 3/10/2012
  • I have a 9 year old step son and a 3 year old son, so when I got pg with #3, we decided to let it be a surprise since we found out with DS.  I knew it would be my last baby and wanted the experience of the surprise at birth.  Honestly, it was the most AMAZING experience for DH and me as well as for our families.  We melted when we heard "Its a GIRL"
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • DS is 6, SS will be 2 in May...and DH announced that he doesn't want to know the gender of this baby until my delivery day. I'm 13wk 3d & have known since 3 weeks I was expecting. At first, I tried to convince him that we'd want to find out when I was further along. I wanted to know! I toyed with the idea of having a gender-revealing party - my friend suggested she could come with me to the doctor, have the doctor write the baby's sex in an envelope for her and one for me, and she would plan the party and tell the invitees the sex. Then at the party, we would have a cake with the envelope baked inside and when we cut the cake, we'd find out the sex. I thought it would be a good compromise, finding out just a month or so beforehand and being able to buy for baby boy or girl coming home outfit, etc. But the further along I get, the less I want to know until I'm due!! This will be our first (and only) child together and while we are both hoping for a girl, it truly doesn't matter. We have names for both picked out and are anxiously awaiting the end of July for our surprise!! 
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  • I had 2 girls & did not find out w/ #3.  I kind of wish I had...because honestly I had a bit of a letdown in the delivery room when I had girl #3.  I wish I had already known so I didn't have that feeling at all when she was already here.  I don't think people who already have both genders would feel it as much nor someone who got the opposite gender on the 3rd...but when you would like to have both (which sounds like you are there) but have 3+ of the same gender, it is a real possibility the feeling of letdown will at least slightly will be there.  Maybe that's flameworthy but I am being honest.  PS--I was wrong--DD#3 is awesome :o)
    AKA Carol*Brady! IHO my upcoming 10yr Nestiversary--Back to old screenname. My own Marsha, Jan & Cindy... imageDesigning a Life Blog
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