Hello Everyone! I'm new to the site so just kind of lurking for the most part ... but, I do have a question and think this would be a great place to ask it!
I have 2 kids, both boys, age 5 and 6. My husband and I know we are going to have a 3rd, just not sure exactly when, but we are toying with the idea of not finding out the gender. We DID find out with both of the boys. Gender of #3 isn't really important (of course we'd like to have a girl) but truly it isn't important to us.
So, the dilemma is in deciding whether to find out or not. I am a planner by nature, but I am thinking that if this will be my last pregnancy, why not have it be a surprise???!!! Sounds fun! But - how does a planner do this? I'm confident I can get nursery items like crib bedding in a gender-neutral pattern that I will like, but my dilemma comes with clothing. I sold all of the boys' baby clothes a couple of years ago, so no matter what I have - I will have nothing!
Do people go out and buy both girl and boy clothing then end up returning a bunch of stuff? Or do you just buy a few things and wait and see?
Re: Surprise baby gender #3, or not?
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
We didn't find out for #3, but we didn't find out for #1 or #2 either. I think it keeps things exciting, especially when it's not the first time around. The only drawback is that it is a little harder to prepare my kids. My DS is convinced this baby is a boy and my DD is convinced this baby is a girl. My DS is old enough to care one way or the other, so we've been trying to prep him for the idea that he may be disappointed. It would probably be easier if we already knew since he will have to deal with so many changes when the baby is born already. But, maybe it will go better than I think?
As far as planning, it's never really been an issue for us. I had no idea that DD was a girl and we received tons of girl stuff after she was born. I had gender neutral in NB size so we were set for awhile anyway.
We found out on both our 1st and 2nd babies. But I want baby #3 to be a surprise, DH wants to find out. I want that surprise at delivery of finding out if baby is a girl or boy. At this point we will be thrilled with either gender.
I wanted baby #3 to be surprise but I couldn't hold out and neither could MH. I wanted another girl sooo bad and he wanted another boy (bad). He wanted DS to have a brother and I wanted DD to have a sister, neither of us had a same gendered sibling and desired it. Anywho, DS2 is all boy. And I was sad (nothing shopping couldn't cure) but I am glad I had the time to grieve the girl I had wanted prior to meeting DS2. He is absolutely perfect.
p.s there is no chance for #4 and we both knew that
With my first, we couldn't tell at the u/s, so it was a surprise at the delivery. We didn't buy tons of baby clothes. Most of what we bought was infant clothes in neutral colors. We did buy some gender-specific items "just in case." After she was born, people brought "girly" baby outfits as gifts.
Even though I had not bought/received tons of clothes, it was fine. By the time she was ready to move up to 3-6m sizes, I was ready to get out of the house and shop.
We had a similar situation with our 2nd (and definitely last) kid. DH really, really wanted a second girl. I was leaning towards wanting a girl, but more prepared for a boy than DH was. It took a little while for all of us to get used to the idea that the fourth member of our family was going to be a boy! It was nice that we had time for that before he was actually born!
Of course, now we couldn't imagine having it any other way. We feel like our family is perfect for us!
If you truly don't believe there will be any feelings of 'disappointment' if you don't have a girl, I'd do the surprise. I have a friend who when she was pg w/#2 she wanted a girl very badly. Their first was a boy & her mom had recently passed & she was really wanting a girl for that mother/daughter relationship since her mom was gone. They decided to find out so that if it was a boy, she could kind of grieve the loss of not ever having that relationship & not have that affect delivery day. She found out it was a boy, dealt with her feelings & was then ready & excited for him!
I had a surprise w/#1 and it was really awesome, so if you've never had that experience you will love it. There are so many cool gender neutral crib sets. Plus I actually really liked not having all gender specific clothing- I got tired of pink overload very quickly so we def. had some other options.
We had DD#1 and then DS and we found out each time. When we were expecting #3, we decided to be Team Green (DH never wanted to know but humored me since I am a planner). Since DD#1 and DS are close together in age, we have gender neutral stuff (crib sheets, etc) and clothes for both genders anyway so it was not a big deal to not find out.
It was so much fun to be Team Green!! It annoyed some family who wanted to know, but we loved being able to call up everyone and announce that DD#2 had arrived and hear everyone's surprise that baby was a girl.
We are Team Green again this time (to many people's surprise and annoyance). I don't have any "feelings" if this baby is a boy or girl but we can't wait to find out.