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kidney transplants- a vent

hollyg1920hollyg1920 member
in June 2012 Moms

My BIL has kidney failure and has been on dialysis for a few years now.  DH has offered to donate a kidney if he is a match.  BIL has a job with insurance and the insurance company has several rules in place that he must meet before he can even be approved by the insurance company to move forward.  He will also have to come up with 30,000+ for his portion of the surgery and meds afterwards.  He makes $12/hr...how the hell is he going to come up with that and even if all the family pitched in we would never come close.

We have told him to apply for disability because if he was deemed disabled then medicare/medicaid would cover the transplant and the meds for 2 years.  His pride is in the way and I can understand....who wants to be 40 and living at home with mom.  However, who wants to live on dialysis 3 times a week until they die.

It  frustrates me that his dr said he is ready for transplant awhile back but his insurance company is in control.  

How do you 'sell' the idea of quitting your job living with your mom and being on disability for a few years to someone who NEEDS a kidney transplant they can't afford otherwise.  I know it bothers DH because that is his brother and he knows that eventually not having the transplant will kill his brother.

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Re: kidney transplants- a vent

  • allisonmarie22allisonmarie22 member

    I don't understand why this idea would need to be sold.  If I was dying I'd do it in a heartbeat and not think another thing about it!!

    Sorry you guys are all going through this.  

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  • sheilatakesabowsheilatakesabow member
    I wonder if knowing he has a match might change his attitude?  Can your DH find out?  
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  • hollyg1920hollyg1920 member
    imageallisonmarie22:

    I don't understand why this idea would need to be sold.  If I was dying I'd do it in a heartbeat and not think another thing about it!!

    Sorry you guys are all going through this.  

    That is how I feel.  Life saving surgery that costs 150,000 that I can't afford on my own....where do I go to apply for disability?!

    I know it is a pride thing....men are funny like that...but this is not like asking for directions....it is his life.

    DH is talking to him about it...hopefully he makes some progress

    Thanks Allison

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  • hollyg1920hollyg1920 member

    imagesheilatakesabow:
    I wonder if knowing he has a match might change his attitude?  Can your DH find out?  

    Sadly for DH to get tested to find out if he is a match would require BIL's insurance to pay and they won't until he meets all of their requirements.  We looked into doing it ourselves (our insurance wont pay for it) but it is costly because it is blood work and if the blood work shows he would be a potential match then he has to have ct scans and more tests which run in the thousands :(

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  • giggles0918giggles0918 member

    So sorry you have to deal with this.  One of my friends husbands had kidney failure and got a kidney about 6 months ago and is doing wonderfully now.  He wasn't able to work from the dialisis. I hope your DH ends up being a match! 

    If he isn't willing to do disability could you do a fundraiser for him to help raise the money?  If he needs it sooner than later you might not make enough but maybe if you got your church involoved and the media it might bring more people in?

    I also know this guy started a blog and for each person that clicked on an advertisement he would get so much money from it (I realize it's not a lot but every little bit helps!

    Good Luck!

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  • PregNerdPregNerd

    I don't have any advice to offer, the system here in Canada is vastly different for things like this. I donated a kidney in November of 2010 and all I can say is I think YH is doing a wonderful thing by offering to be a donor.

    Perhaps there are some non-profit organizations that help with this sort of thing? At the very least the preliminary screening? 

    Best of luck to your entire family. 

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  • MsMommyDocMsMommyDoc
    Sorry for the trouble your family is going through. I could go on my usual rant about the state of the healthcare system and lack of options, but that would be redundant at this point. I agree disability is the best thing for him....maybe you could find a disability lawyer who is willing to meet with him to discuss his case. I know DFW has several lawyers that offer free consults for this type of thing.
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  • Gismo123Gismo123 member

    He should definitely try to get disability but beware not everyone qualifies for disability because they are on dialysis. My dad has been on it for almost 4 years, has diabetes so bad he had half his foot cut off, and has high blood pressure. He had to quit his job because of his health and they denied him disability saying he wasn't disabled enough....but then again he lives in CA where illegals can get welfare but someone who pays their taxes can't get any help.

     

    Edit: Also I have a cousin who has had kidney failer since the day he was born and once he turns 25....I think that's the cut off age.....he can't be on his parent's insurance anymore.  He currently isn't eligible for disability either....but once again he also lives in CA....maybe CA just hates sick people I don't know?

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  • amberlynnr7amberlynnr7 member
    imageallisonmarie22:

    I don't understand why this idea would need to be sold.  If I was dying I'd do it in a heartbeat and not think another thing about it!!

    Sorry you guys are all going through this.  

     Uh, yeah. This. I'm sorry but...your husband is offering & that's waaay more than he even needs to do. The fact that your BIL is not jumping at the chance to live is quite depressing.

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  • GabsarGabsar
    imagehollyg1920:

    My BIL has kidney failure and has been on dialysis for a few years now.  DH has offered to donate a kidney if he is a match.  BIL has a job with insurance and the insurance company has several rules in place that he must meet before he can even be approved by the insurance company to move forward.  He will also have to come up with 30,000+ for his portion of the surgery and meds afterwards.  He makes $12/hr...how the hell is he going to come up with that and even if all the family pitched in we would never come close.

    We have told him to apply for disability because if he was deemed disabled then medicare/medicaid would cover the transplant and the meds for 2 years.  His pride is in the way and I can understand....who wants to be 40 and living at home with mom.  However, who wants to live on dialysis 3 times a week until they die.

    It  frustrates me that his dr said he is ready for transplant awhile back but his insurance company is in control.  

    How do you 'sell' the idea of quitting your job living with your mom and being on disability for a few years to someone who NEEDS a kidney transplant they can't afford otherwise.  I know it bothers DH because that is his brother and he knows that eventually not having the transplant will kill his brother.

     

    Holly I have a background in insurance, I have worked with health insurance for like 10 years, please please please email me! sarahsquid@gmail.com I have a background working for a dialysis company so I know Dialysis and kidney transplant for insurances like the back of my hand! I can help you!

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