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Private school vs public school -- some help please?
This is long. I'm sorry. I'm trying to edit my thoughts, but all I'm getting is word vomit, so thank you in advance if you actually read this.
DH and I are trying to decide between sending Daniel to his current private school for Kinder next year or sending him to the local public school, which is just a short walk from our house and has a great reputation.
Our concerns:
1. Daniel is way ahead of all his peers in his current class. Way. Ahead. It's actually more of a problem than a boon, as he's bored most of the time. His teachers have been super about creating special lesson enhancements for him, but it's like he gobbles up the new learning opportunity and is immediately bored again. It kinda sucks. As an example, he's reading at about a second grade level right now, and he's 4 1/2. We're proud of him, but at the same time it would be kinda nice if he'd slow his roll a little bit, you know?
2. D's private school has academic standards that are significantly higher than those of the public schools in our county (which is weird to us, because our public schools are supposed to be among the best in the nation, but whatever...). If Daniel's bored now, will he be even more bored in public Kinder?
3. Daniel gets really good behavior reports from school about 50% of the time (they bring home a little "report card" every day). The other 50% of the time, he gets marked down for doing things like singing to himself in class, playing hands with the little girl who sits next to him, kicking the table leg... Little stuff. I know these behaviors, and they're things he does when he's bored (see #1). I don't want to make excuses for him -- he needs to learn to follow the rules like everybody else -- but at the same time, I know his misbehaviors aren't malicious or even intentional; it's just him occupying downtime. Lately his teacher has been sending him to the principal on occasion to talk about these behavior issues, and we think it's starting to affect his self-esteem. We don't want him to start believing that he's a "bad kid" or a "problem child", because he isn't. I'm not sure where the line should be there. I don't want him distracting the other kids, but I also don't want him convinced that he's bad or naughty or anything else.
Okay, so... I've emailed the principal at the public school to schedule an appointment to come visit with her and tour the school. Bearing all this in mind, what are some things I should ask her? I'm not that up on public schools these days, but I hear bad things from so many parents about "teaching to the test" and their kids being little more than a number... I don't want that for our boys, but I'm afraid I'm unfairly biased against public schools and I genuinely want to go into this meeting to learn and evaluate.
What should I look for? What should I ask? What's good? What's bad?
Geez, this is such a nebulous post... Can you tell my brain's all over the place on this one? I really appreciate any insight you can provide.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Private school vs public school -- some help please?
I think some good questions to ask would be to have them describe a typical day, what do the lessons look like? Does everyone do the same lesson? How much variation is given to children who need something more challenging? What does a child do when they finish and are ready for more work but others aren't? Can they tell you about how some previous advanced students did? What were there struggles and successes?
This is outside of what you asked but have you thought about Montessori school? In a Montessori classroom each child is learning at their own level, so boredom isn't a concern. I'd be happy to talk about it more if that's something you're interested in (and there are several others on the board who I'm sure would as well).
Good luck with the decision and the meeting! It sounds like a tough decision that you are really struggling with. I hope you find something that works for D!
Montessori would be our dream solution for the boys. My best friend's wife is the assistant director of a Montessori school near-ish our house, so we'd even have a great, known place to send them. It's just the cost... There's absolutely no way we could afford it. We could if I went back to working at a traditional job, but we'd probably also have to hire a nanny or something if I did that because my work would probably take me about 40 miles from home every day and DH has zero work schedule flexibility + random lengthy travel, so we'd need to have someone available at home to get the boys to school and get them back home.
Hmmm... I might actually go off and run those numbers and look into that option. I'd be loathe to give up my Mommy time with the boys, but it would be a really good option for Daniel... Thanks for suggesting it.
I'm not sure I can answer this without sounding like a total prig, but here goes. Our son is similar in that he's killing the academics in his Montessori preschool. But even they have trouble keeping him in line since he gets bored when he's not challenged and is very high energy. So we're likely going to go private (and Montessori) for kinder. Many of the kids from his school have just skipped kinder and gone to 1st grade but I'm not comfortable with that as I don't think that will be doing him any favors once he gets to high school and is trying to date girls that are older than him and likely more socially mature.
We will likely go public in 1st grade when the gifted programs start in our school district. Have you considered doing the private thing for just a year or so to bridge until a gifted program can kick in?