Why do all the pedis recommend CIO?

kmart1tm · February 2012

We just got back from a pedi appt. Sleep concerns were discussed, and our pedi recommended CIO too. She said she did it with her 2 children at 4 months and it worked for them. She even went so far as to say that it was the "best thing for them." (bc it teaches self soothing)

I'm not opposed to CIO when it's the right time for your LO and family. The appt today just got me thinking.... I keep reading over and over on here how everyone's pedi suggests CIO, and now mine too. Maybe not EVERYONE'S pedi suggests this, but it seems like quite a few have. Why do you guys think many pedis recommend CIO at such an early age while so many moms are uncomfortable with it?

btsrc5 · February 2012

Mine recommended it also and it really upset me. I personally am not pro-CIO, but DH now thinks that we should since pedi recommended it. UGH

I am tempted to contact my pedi and tell him NOT to say anything about it again in front of DH

Fianschneid · February 2012

I think moms are uncomfortable with it because it is difficult to see or hear our little one cry when we can't do anything about it. I don't think this will change for us as they get older and start skinning knees, etc.

DD's pedi recommended COI this weekend. We tried it and it worked for us in two nights. For the record, DD only cried about 15 minutes. I can't imagine letting her go much longer and pedi recommended starting with 20 minutes and never going more than an hour.

I realize that it is everyone's personal choice but as a first time mom, I feel like the pedi has more experience with child development than I have. No, I won't follow her blindly, but this was a discussion that she, DH and I had and I felt her reasoning was sound. I would baby my baby forever, if I didn't step back now and then and take other people's advice about what she's capable of and try new things from time to time.

CA2006 · February 2012

Here's my take: Most of the time, it's a necessary evil. NOBODY, especially new moms, likes to hear their baby cry. It goes against everything we have been taught, feel and believe thus far. We have attended to our baby's every fuss annd cry for months now. But this is the age when our babies start to wake up and are more interested in what's going on around them than sleeping. But there are times when it is appropriate (and necessary for development) to sleep. Most babies need to be taught this. And taught how to get themselves back to sleep during normal wakings. Unfortunately, CIO (in some form or another) is a very fast and effective way of doing that. This is the first of many parenting decisions that will maybe not feel great or "right" immediately, but may be necessary for some people. Your baby will want to put dangerous things in his/her mouth and you will have to teach them not to. They will want a cookie for breakfast and you will ahve to teach them that isn't how we do things. They will want to touch the hot stove out of pure curiosity and you may have to dive for their hand and grab it in such a way that makes them cry. It will break your heart each time you hear them cry and get upset about things that are best for them in the long run, but they may not like at the time. I put sleep training in this category. It took 2 nights for DS and he is a fabulous sleeper. We haven't sleep trained DD yet, as she can get herself to sleep most nights and nurses right back to sleep during wakings. When she stops doing these things, we will need to sleep train. I want other people to be able to take care of her overnight if DH and I want to be away for a night and it isn't fair to others when the only way she will go to sleep is nursing or shhhhh-ing at 6+ months old. SHe shoudl be capable of putting herself to sleep then and just may need the tools to be able to do so. We saw such a difference in DS's personality and development when he started sleeping longer stretches overnight. Some babies may do it all on their own. But for those that don't, I think our pedis are just trying to say that now is an acceptable time to start sleep training should you find that your baby's sleep habits aren't what you'd liek them to be.

jonnygurl76 · February 2012

my pedi only asks me how long of a stretch does he sleep and how many naps a day and she did the same with DD but she never recommended CIO. my pedi doesn't offer non medical advice unless i ask her opinion on something and this is just one of the reasons why we love her.

in my opinion CIO is not medical advice, it is parenting advice and no one, not even a Dr., should be giving you parenting advice unless you ask for it.

thetheisens · February 2012

jonnygurl76:

my pedi only asks me how long of a stretch does he sleep and how many naps a day and she did the same with DD but she never recommended CIO. my pedi doesn't offer non medical advice unless i ask her opinion on something and this is just one of the reasons why we love her.

in my opinion CIO is not medical advice, it is parenting advice and no one, not even a Dr., should be giving you parenting advice unless you ask for it.

I agree with this. My pedi asked how he was sleeping and I said "Good" and that was the end of it. I would have asked for his advice had I wanted it, but I didn't. He could see from his exam of ds that he was a healthy and happy baby, so even if he isn't sttn, it obviously isn't doing him any harm.

Fianschneid · February 2012

jonnygurl76:

my pedi only asks me how long of a stretch does he sleep and how many naps a day and she did the same with DD but she never recommended CIO. my pedi doesn't offer non medical advice unless i ask her opinion on something and this is just one of the reasons why we love her.

in my opinion CIO is not medical advice, it is parenting advice and no one, not even a Dr., should be giving you parenting advice unless you ask for it.

I 100% understand what you're saying here, specifically about CIO but I think some issues (and maybe this is a different thread) can blur the line.

Yes, CIO is parenting advice but sleep in general can be a child development issue and I do think that's appropriate for a pedi to discuss. Some parents consider vaccinations a parenting decision, while I think vaccinations are a medical decision.

I hope this doesn't come across as an attack, that's not how it is intended. The topic of parenting vs. medical advice seems to come up a lot on this board, so I just thought I'd see where people draw the line between the two.

ETA: I have started a new post on this topic.

cantalopes24 · February 2012

CA2006:
Here's my take: Most of the time, it's a necessary evil. NOBODY, especially new moms, likes to hear their baby cry. It goes against everything we have been taught, feel and believe thus far. We have attended to our baby's every fuss annd cry for months now. But this is the age when our babies start to wake up and are more interested in what's going on around them than sleeping. But there are times when it is appropriate (and necessary for development) to sleep. Most babies need to be taught this. And taught how to get themselves back to sleep during normal wakings. Unfortunately, CIO (in some form or another) is a very fast and effective way of doing that. This is the first of many parenting decisions that will maybe not feel great or "right" immediately, but may be necessary for some people. Your baby will want to put dangerous things in his/her mouth and you will have to teach them not to. They will want a cookie for breakfast and you will ahve to teach them that isn't how we do things. They will want to touch the hot stove out of pure curiosity and you may have to dive for their hand and grab it in such a way that makes them cry. It will break your heart each time you hear them cry and get upset about things that are best for them in the long run, but they may not like at the time. I put sleep training in this category. It took 2 nights for DS and he is a fabulous sleeper. We haven't sleep trained DD yet, as she can get herself to sleep most nights and nurses right back to sleep during wakings. When she stops doing these things, we will need to sleep train. I want other people to be able to take care of her overnight if DH and I want to be away for a night and it isn't fair to others when the only way she will go to sleep is nursing or shhhhh-ing at 6+ months old. SHe shoudl be capable of putting herself to sleep then and just may need the tools to be able to do so. We saw such a difference in DS's personality and development when he started sleeping longer stretches overnight. Some babies may do it all on their own. But for those that don't, I think our pedis are just trying to say that now is an acceptable time to start sleep training should you find that your baby's sleep habits aren't what you'd liek them to be.

All of this. And while it technically isn't medical advice, I consider it along with starting solids to be indirect medical advice. Sleep and eating can affect the growth and development of your child. You just have to do what's best for your family, and sometimes it isn't what you WANT to do, you just have to make an informed decision. Your peditrician is not your childs parent and isn't the end all be all, but they are a good source of information to supplement other good sources of information.

JillD2011 · February 2012

When C was born, our doctor asked what issues I would prefer not to have discussed in regards to Claire. He wanted to know what I felt most strongly about sticking to without his questioning. I said we would not CIO or force her to wean before she's ready. He fully supports our decisions, and even said himself that sleep training is not a medical issue, and would have been left to our discretion regardless.

Ariana2O11 · February 2012

DS just had his 4 month check-up and the pedi recommended I wait at least until he's 6 months to start sleep training. Conflicting info, I know.

kmart1tm · February 2012

I can see both of your points of view, and in fairness to my pedi, I DID ask for advice. It's up to me whether I take it or not, but I appreciate hearing what she has to say.

I guess what I don't quite understand with the CIO thing is that, our pedis jobs are to care for our LOs physically, right? So from a medical perspective, is CIO what is best for our LOs because it may allow them the most uninterrupted sleep?

I'm not articulating myself very well today. I guess it's just like why not say "if they are only waking 1-2 times a night, that's normal and they will grow out of it when they're ready." Why is the advice to let them CIO? Maybe they feel like they need to give you an answer or a solution or something.

cantalopes24 · February 2012

kmart1tm:

I can see both of your points of view, and in fairness to my pedi, I DID ask for advice. It's up to me whether I take it or not, but I appreciate hearing what she has to say.

I guess what I don't quite understand with the CIO thing is that, our pedis jobs are to care for our LOs physically, right? So from a medical perspective, is CIO what is best for our LOs because it may allow them the most uninterrupted sleep?

I'm not articulating myself very well today. I guess it's just like why not say "if they are only waking 1-2 times a night, that's normal and they will grow out of it when they're ready." Why is the advice to let them CIO? Maybe they feel like they need to give you an answer or a solution or something.

Yes, and of course the self soothing thing. A lot of development happens while you are sleeping, it regulates your body weight and metabolism, you grow. Interrupted or lack of sleep causes a lot of health problems in adults and can hinder childrens growth if it is excessive. It also sets up bad sleep habits for the future. Obviously this isn't true in every case but that is where your discretion comes in. And they are assuming if you're asking, you want help.

jonnygurl76 · February 2012

kmart1tm:

I can see both of your points of view, and in fairness to my pedi, I DID ask for advice. It's up to me whether I take it or not, but I appreciate hearing what she has to say.

I guess what I don't quite understand with the CIO thing is that, our pedis jobs are to care for our LOs physically, right? So from a medical perspective, is CIO what is best for our LOs because it may allow them the most uninterrupted sleep?

I'm not articulating myself very well today. I guess it's just like why not say "if they are only waking 1-2 times a night, that's normal and they will grow out of it when they're ready." Why is the advice to let them CIO? Maybe they feel like they need to give you an answer or a solution or something.

it sounds to me like they want to give the parents a quick fix by saying "just let them CIO". but there are other options and things to take into consideration. is your LO waking up hungry? is your LO waking only 1-2 times a night or is it 10 times in an 8 hour stretch? is your LO eating the same amount during the day? can you put them down awake? CIO is not for everyone and not the only option--you can sleep train in a way that builds trust and makes your baby feel safe and secure once you believe your LO is waking out of habit and not out of true hunger. you have to put the time and effort in to make it work.

CA2006 · February 2012

jonnygurl76:
kmart1tm:

I can see both of your points of view, and in fairness to my pedi, I DID ask for advice. It's up to me whether I take it or not, but I appreciate hearing what she has to say.

I guess what I don't quite understand with the CIO thing is that, our pedis jobs are to care for our LOs physically, right? So from a medical perspective, is CIO what is best for our LOs because it may allow them the most uninterrupted sleep?

I'm not articulating myself very well today. I guess it's just like why not say "if they are only waking 1-2 times a night, that's normal and they will grow out of it when they're ready." Why is the advice to let them CIO? Maybe they feel like they need to give you an answer or a solution or something.

it sounds to me like they want to give the parents a quick fix by saying "just let them CIO". but there are other options and things to take into consideration. is your LO waking up hungry? is your LO waking only 1-2 times a night or is it 10 times in an 8 hour stretch? is your LO eating the same amount during the day? can you put them down awake? CIO is not for everyone and not the only option--you can sleep train in a way that builds trust and makes your baby feel safe and secure once you believe your LO is waking out of habit and not out of true hunger. you have to put the time and effort in to make it work.

My pedi asked how DD was sleeping. I said "ok. She's waking 1-2 times/night, nursing then going roguht back down". Then the pedi said "how do YOU feel about that"? I said fine for now. She then told me that if I wanted to sleep train, now it is ok to start and that it's easier to do before they are pulling up, etc. She also said that based on DD's weight and how much she eats during the day, she technically doesn't "need" to eat at night wakings. She said that yes, she may be hungry when she wakes, but doesn't technically need to eat so I can do with that information what I want. I choose to keep feeding her until it's obvious she doesn't need it or she drops it on her own. But that is MY decision. Someone else may take that and decide that they want to have baby CIO through all night wakings. And that baby will be "ok" too, inthe long-run. Who am I to judge the moms that decide that? My Pedi was simply stating that based on DD's weight and development, she does not, medically speaking, need to eat overnight. It is up to me to take that information and do what I am comfortable with. Franky, i think in black and white a lot of the time and appreciated knowing that DD was at a point now that she doesn't "need" to eat overnight.

hannamarin · February 2012

question.

I think my LO is too small for CIO, but yesterday I left her in the crib for a couple minutes because I had to pee and refill her bottle. When I came back, she was freaking out. It was because she had peed. If I had left her to CIO, she NEVER would have settled. My child will not sit in a wet diaper - unless she is asleep when it happens. So, how do you know they arent wet? gassy? hungry? when they start to cry

jessi4d · February 2012

I was in the library last week looking for books regarding sleep training that wasn't CIO. I picked up the American Academy of Pediatrics "Guide to Your Child's Sleep" and was very, very surprised to see that they recommended CIO. So that may be why.

BTW,I didn't take the advice and decided to stick with the pat/shh method and it's working so far....

karinothing · February 2012

hannamarin:
question.

I think my LO is too small for CIO, but yesterday I left her in the crib for a couple minutes because I had to pee and refill her bottle. When I came back, she was freaking out. It was because she had peed. If I had left her to CIO, she NEVER would have settled. My child will not sit in a wet diaper - unless she is asleep when it happens. So, how do you know they arent wet? gassy? hungry? when they start to cry

I don't understand this either.

Also, like I guess I don't really understand CIO in regards to my kid. DS never cries when it comes to sleep. I simply say its time for bed nurse and sometimes rock him then he goes down. Pre-RSV he would wake up once a night, nurse and be back down in under 10 minutes. It seems like CIO would be MORE disruptive (plus I live in an apt and feel bad for my neighbors!) ha ha

cantalopes24 · February 2012

hannamarin:

question.

I think my LO is too small for CIO, but yesterday I left her in the crib for a couple minutes because I had to pee and refill her bottle. When I came back, she was freaking out. It was because she had peed. If I had left her to CIO, she NEVER would have settled. My child will not sit in a wet diaper - unless she is asleep when it happens. So, how do you know they arent wet? gassy? hungry? when they start to cry

You check for those things. And also CIO isn't scream it out, its whining/fussing/soft crying. It is also only for short durations. If you can't tell why baby is crying or CIO doesn't work within a few minutes then you and baby aren't ready.

sewpinkgal · February 2012

I felt like our pedi mentioned letting him see if he would settle on his own with a middle of the night waking because developmentally, he could go longer stretches at night. I said that we wouldn't sleep train before 6 months and he said that it is our decision. We have started letting him fuss it out a bit at bed and naps to see if he can settle himself when he's drowsy, but awake - sometimes he's successful, sometimes not (in which case, we go in and help him out). I honestly don't mind the way our pedi suggests things as it doesn't feel intrusive and he still ultimately defers to us on the sleep stuff.

AB25840 · February 2012

I dont think there is enough information about not-CIO and its what they were told to do with there kids. I am not pro-CIO, I just feel it is mean to leave someone who trust you and loves you to leave them crying alone in the dark. I know I wouldnt like it. You make the decision you feel is right for your family but maybe try non-cry it out methods first? I'm currently reading the no-cry sleep solution for tips.

Want a personalized experience?

Why do all the pedis recommend CIO?

Re: Why do all the pedis recommend CIO?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards